priorities

“We want justice now, Michael we love you”, and the news on all LA television stations is filled with the trial of Dr. Conrad Murray the supposed perp in the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson. We have the LA TV news teams stationed in front of the courthouse interviewing 65 year old grandmas, 20 something hipsters, blood shot eyed groupies. We have updates, backgrounds, ticker tapes, experts all appearing on the LA television stations and know when a juror farted, the judge burped and all the non talented other Jacksons blow their nose or look forlorn.

“We want justice now, America we love you” and the news not on all of the LA television stations is not filled with the Occupy Wall Street protestors. The supposed perps many of the CEO’s COO’s CFO’s of the Finance monopolies are not on trial not requested to own up to any or all responsibilities for the collapse of our economy. The few pictures of those participating in the Occupy Wall Street protest are people with piercings on their bodies, multi dyed hair and scruffy. As if those who don't match the Mr. and Mrs Perfect America are protesting. We don’t have the best news teams to tell us when they get maced, when they are peppered sprayed, when they are victims of police abuse. Unless a Michael Moore or Susan Sarandon appear at the protest, no information is shared.

Makes you wonder about priorities?

“Regulations will hurt our future”. It is for our children and if we stop corporations from polluting the environment now our kids will have no future”. Progress at times must be dirty.” And we are told part of the lack of employment is that NOW there are too many rules and regulations on keeping Americans healthy. We are told it is the destiny of America to ruin the rivers, tear down the forests, and drill in the ocean, burn baby burn. We are told that it is for the children and they must have a future based on the greed and gluttony, ingenuous and indiscrete behavior of corporations who look at profits before people.

“It’s for our children’s future”. No matter that the future we hold with such esteem creates land that is dead with pesticides, ozone levels so thick with dirt that our lungs absorb less oxygen and more carbon dioxide, our climate becomes more stormy or drought ridden. No matter that there is a never a good time for regulations to be implemented because no time is a good time for corporations to spend more money on making the environment safer over profit. It is always for the children but what happens when those same children grow into sickly deformed fragile adults?

Makes you wonder whose priorities?

“Socialized medicine is Un-American, Un-Christian. Unemployed people should not be hired because after being unemployed for so long they become lazy. Unemployment insurance caudles workers lull them into laziness. If the church can’t donate to your life saving medicines or operations then you should have never found yourself in the economic situation of not having health insurance. Marriage is a sacred heterosexual institution even if it is done two, three four times. Livable wages, sustainable benefits only make you want more and end up with you giving less.”

To the man and woman those running for the office of President for the GOP/Tea Bag party of this nation have insisted that anything for the middle class or poor person is not what makes America great. They have invoked Jesus Christ as a CEO, a slave owner, a Capitalist, censor of something as human as love. To the man and woman running for the office of President/Tea Bag party big government isn’t big enough to involve itself in your reproductive rights, sexual practices, but is way too big when it comes to your quality of life, your fair share, your health. And each time a Republican/Tea Bag candidate makes a statement denying some Americans of their human rights their numbers in the polls go higher and higher.

Makes you wonder where these priorities come from?

understanding

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there." "Understanding (Wash It All Away)" by Evanescence

As I embark upon the month in which I turn 62 years of age I have begun to take account of the life I live and the current set of circumstances I find in this life. The holiday of Rosh Ha Shana was the motivator for this task of trying to understand it all and the upcoming celebration of a mid century life on my behalf provides the energy to complete my thinking.

I understand that we can not predict the path or the severity of hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes or floods. We always have some idea but because the origin of these disasters is Mother Nature we can’t quite claim ownership and can’t quite quiet the fray. However what I don’t understand is the current economic complications in which we find this great nation of our mired. The economics of man seem to be man made for good or bad. We created currency and we created the rules and regulations in which and how currency is used, shared or hoarded. Yet as we watch this recession, almost depression economic whirlybird unwind we are told there is nothing to do but witness the madness. Huh! It seems if man made it man can unmake it. Those who have money can lend their money to those who don’t. Those who say they have no one buying their product so they can’t hire more workers can in fact hire more workers, pay them a decent wage then the worker can spend his/her wage and buy more products from people who say no one is buying their products. Instead of hiding our money denying others to use their money, we can simply say to earn money is to spend money to spend money is to make more money. Man made problem man made solution!

I understand that many who profess to be religious believe in a particular God with whom they have a personal relationship. I understand that for many God is a spiritual leader and the many writings of God help direct individuals on a road of morality and ethics. I understand that for many God sets the standards for which mere mortals hopefully will live. Yet suddenly God has become for some who qualify themselves as religious an angry, bigoted, backward, biased bogeyman. Suddenly for some God no longer lives in some eternal place of peace but wears a KKK outfit, sends his kids to non integrated schools, loves to hangout in peoples bedrooms, hates other Gods, and defines him/herself as non inclusive. Huh! I don’t understand how it seems that suddenly we have created God and he/she is a puppet of our own insecurities, ineptitudes and inappropriateness. I don’t understand how God is now the reason why we can’t love our neighbor but want to destroy anything they are or do or own!

I understand that as humans some of us are blessed with talents, skills, abilities that when we activate create, develop, command and develop them we attract the attention of others who respond with awe and devotion. I understand that athletes and artists, inventors and innovators receive attention and stardom for presenting to other humans ideas and ideals that seem unique and special. I understand that one of a kind warrants some attention and rewards. Yet somehow when a teacher ignites the engine of education, a nurse helps the healing of the sick, a soldier risks his/her life for freedom we many times look the other way take for granted, ignore the talents and skills this group of Americans have brought to the fore. I don’t understand why we will pay $18 for tickets to see a movie, $120 to see a Broadway play, $200 a ticket to watch the NBA or NFL yet squirm and fidget when teachers, nurses, first responders, our troops ask for a decent wage and affordable benefits. I don’t understand how we identify our hero’s from larger than life personalities, and we ignore the hero’s who help maintain our lives. I don’t understand why someone so distant receives our love and devotion while our neighbors, friends, get glaring glances and angry moans. Huh!

There is so much I understand and so much more I just don’t get. As I fall into my autumn years of life I am trying to be less opinionated and more obliged to understand. I want to see both sides of an issue and maybe three if they exist, but until my questions of why not are answered I find it frustrating and futile to figure things out. In 2011 what seems to me to be obvious is now odd, what should be obvious is opaque, what should be obvious is obliterated with trap doors, innuendo, and lies. All I really want to do is understand.

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we hide our eyes
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time "Understanding (Wash It All Away)" by Evanescence

Days of Awe

One of the many aspects of celebrating the Days of Awe, the time between Rosh Ha Shana, Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement is to identify those who have hurt you or those you have hurt and either ask of forgiveness or state that you hold no grudge. As God opens the Book of Life, and we act accordingly to ask for another extension of our life, before the Book is closed, acting like a human who does care about his actions and who can understand the human in all of us is a task many Jews perform during these days.

I have communicated to those family members and friends with whom I share my life, and have spoken to them responding or requesting the understanding I wish to relay. Whether it is for the Days of Awe or just the days of my life, looking internally, inside and introspectively, seems to aid my angst and ease my anger. Perhaps because of this eventful time of the calendar and or my own personal religious and spirituality the cleansing of my soul seems satisfying and sincere and I am glad to ask for forgiveness and return the favor.

So I ask Rick Santorum why he hates me because I am Gay? Why he had no respect for the soldier who among being American, placing his life on the line working in harms way why he Rick Santorum felt that a Gay man who fights for the liberties of this nation would not deserve medical attention. I ask Rick Santorum to explain to me why if I fall in love with a partner of the same sex why that love can’t be as legally consummated as heterosexuals who fall in love divorce commit adultery and then marry and marry again? Why you think your Lord Jesus Christ hates those he has created? I ask Rick Santorum to explain to me why he is so full of homophobia scapegoating Gays as if we were one person, basing his fear of me without even knowing me on bigotry and Bible babble and trying to scare so many who would rather hate then love why he Rick Santorum finds it necessary to be so exclusive and not inclusive.

I want to forgive Rick Santorum for his innuendo, loathing and fomenting fear for his placing his political aspirations above human needs, for his using Gods name in vain. I would like an explanation why I am the enemy the bogey man, the bad guy so during these Days of Awe I can stop saying you are Un American, Un Christian, and Un Intelligent. Please explain to me why you are so scared of me because among many things I happen to be Gay?

the happiest of new

If it is new we are told it has a chance to begin again, but differently. If it is new we are told that something good should come our way, something much better. If it is new we figure that the old stuff had its day in the sun and now we need to see the sparkle of the universe. If it is new we are told that whatever was before is over and as sweet as it was something tastier, tantalizing, and truer will replace it.

We wish health, hope and happiness when something new comes our way. We look to horizons once in the distance to meander to our doorsteps when something new comes our way. We seek compassion, care and concern for those we love when something new comes our way. We want the end of pain, prejudice, punishment, sadness, sorrow and shallow, insincerity, insecurity and injustice when something new comes our way. We forge ahead as if the future will remedy the past when something new comes our way.

For the Jews across the globe it is a new year, Rosh Ha Shana, the beginning, the blossoming, the burgeoning of prayers for deeds to come to fruition, for desires to reach maturity, for delusions to be destroyed and replaced with dreams delightful and delicious. It is a time to look at God and wonder aloud, to look at family and amaze at the love, to turn to friends and consider how difficult life would be without them. It is a time to shout out loud thank you, I will try harder, I am grateful, and I am blessed. And it is time to wish away the worry but work on the gratitude, find the simple and lose the complicated, be inclusive and exit from anything exclusive or evil.

In many Jewish households the dinner table will include apples and honey, the fruit of the Earth the sweetness of life, the deliciousness of something seemingly sincere and secure. We will drink from the vines, we will share our stories, we will smile knowing how valuable love, like and life can really be. It will be a new year and as best we can we will attempt the changes from old to new, we will try our best.

If it is new we are told it is time for something else. And maybe this new year we can redefine ourselves our actions our intentions and our love.

Happy New Year, Ketiva ve-chatima tovah "May You Be Written and Sealed for a Good Year." Tizku leshanim rabbot "may you merit many years" Leshana Tova Tikoseiv Vesichoseim (Le'Alter LeChaim Tovim U'Leshalom) "May you (immediately) be inscribed and sealed for a Good Year (and for a Good and Peaceful Life)"

The happiest of new!

some memories of holidays

Holidays, so many memories, gather in my mind, so many photos embedded in my brain, and so many reasons to celebrate in a communal manner. When we were little the preparations for the holidays meant the odors of Mr. Clean, Windex, and Comet all those man made smells would then melt into the aromas of my mothers baked cakes or pies, her magical brisket, the fragrances of fresh salad and the satisfying comforting sweetness of Matzo Ball soup.

Soon, the adult table would be set and then the two or three card tables and the borrowed metal chairs would be placed in our living room with extra pickles and olives in the center of each table for the entire clan of kids. For 6 hours our house would be a buzz with dusting rags, mops and specific orders and directions from my Mother as to which chore each kid had to tackle. We would pout and mope but even with our own cry of despair we all knew eventually the dinner would be served and nothing else in the world would be like heaven. We had to earn our right to indulge in a feast so wonderful that all the labor pains became mute and forgotten and once the first morsel of food hit our pallet all that mattered was Mom, can I please have more!

Soon the scents of Lily of the valley, rose, and grandma perfumes would waft in the rooms of our house mingling with whiffs of tobacco from the men who smoked cigars and a few Pall Mall or Kent cigarettes. If it was cool outside, our windows would fog up trapping the kitchen aromas with the delicacies of ladies perfumes and makeup, and if the weather was warm the window fan in the dining room and the fan placed on top of the television would shift the smells of food and beauty product throughout the entire house.

If we had 16 people it was a small dinner, having twenty people was the norm. Most of our guests were Aunts, cousins, Uncles but then we invited the few neighbors who had no family and the few strays who were alone and by themselves. Suddenly our house was alive with stories, laughter, drama, kidding and personalities big and small.

Holidays meant love, they meant family and they meant a purpose to gather and share and understand who we were and why we got the places we found ourselves. Holidays became meaningful as an expression of love, care and devotion. Holidays were a focal point demonstrating how fragile we could become but also how strong we were when all of us were together.

On the 28th of September many Jews around the world will celebrate a new year, Rosh Ha Shana. There will be reflection, revelation and a resounding declaration of next year in Jerusalem. It will be the beginning of a series of holidays important to Jews and a time to ask for pardon, a time to apologize for any injustices and a time to look at your family and friend and say thank you God.

I had moved from Pittsburgh over 25 years ago and spending holidays with those I love is not as easy as it once seemed. Too many people I loved have passed on and keeping the entire family together is more of an effort. But when it is holiday time I can use my photo albums, letters from the past and recollection of fable and fiction from my sisters and my kids to remember just how important this time was for me.

My collection of loved ones has evolved into friends and now my partner Joe. My celebration of Rosh Ha Shana still includes recipes from my Mother and Grandmother plus some new items I have created as a part of something new. But no matter where I am or how many years have passed I still sigh, snicker, and sob as I recall moments of magic.

Shana Tova to all my Jewish friends, may memories never die but enrich your lives and make you happy, healthy and filled with hope.

America becoming beautiful

"Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh". (Do You want to know a Secret? lyrics by the Beatles)

Coming out to your family, sharing with them some truths about yourself you have known for years, or finally recognized, or suddenly realized, sharing your secret with them is for some a hard road on which to walk.

"Is this me, is this me who was I pretending to be now tell me, I'd like to know, oh I'd like to know" ( Is This Me, lyrics by Gerry Buncher)

Admitting to those from whom you learned about life, shared your ups and downs, received pats on the back or a good scolding, admitting to them that one teeny tiny particular of your life may not be part of the particulars everyone knows about you is both redeeming and terrifying.

"I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show" (I'm Coming Out, lyrics by Diana Ross)

Stating the obvious which obviously had been disguised, disingenuous, debilitating, or deleted for reasons as pure as why does anyone have to know to as simple as if they want to know let them ask, is for many taking that deep breath after holding your breath for 2 minutes, or finally breathing fresh air for the first time.

No matter what you do on the stage
Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!
Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage
Don't complain, it's a pain
Keep it gay! Keep It Gay, lyrics by Mel Brooks)

Being who you want to be, not the ideal of family or friends. Recognizing your strengths and not just focusing on what others might perceive as your weaknesses. Taking the edge off of the taboo by living your life without plagues, damnation, or the end of the world happening to you or those who know you. Demanding equal not just separate but equal. Deciding you are like so many others and if you are not that is what makes you unique. Just going on with your day because suddenly there is a rainbow to find a pot of gold. All of that is a part of keeping it Gay.

Today, exactly at 12:01 AM DADT died. Today our Troops took a step forward to be the same as they were the day before but if they so desire to say out loud I am Gay. Today those who defend our country, lay their lives on the line, take supporting the flag and the Constitution to heart and soul, today those in the US military have one less enemy to fight.

"O beautiful for heroes prov'd
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life.

America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev'ry gain divine". (America The Beautiful, lyrics by Katherine Lee Bates)

America can be beautiful and fair and equal, and when it is how wonderful. Small steps by a nation that at times as so far to walk.

sticks and stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names…” (Traditional childhood rhyme)

John Boehner did say that while he agrees with the president that every American should pay their “fair share’ of taxes, it shouldn’t be done through “class warfare.”

It has become so America 2011 as politicians begin to call people names when usually that is the only answer they can offer in trying to solve a problem. We no longer feel obligated to try and resolve a condition, but instead set up conditions by scapegoating a segment of the population categorizing them or marginalizing them by using the childhood game of name calling. So now instead of trying to figure out how best to reduce the deficit or create jobs all we will now hear from all the news outlets as they debate is there a class war going on. We will now side step the main issues and instead become pillaged by the newest propaganda marketing ploy, “class warfare”.

America in 2011 has moved into the realm of us vs. them, good vs. bad, right vs. wrong. We have permitted our politicians to allow the fringe, the angry, the bigoted the biased to sway their thinking, pay their coffers and lead their actions. We have decided that politicians must be at polar opposites of anyone who does not look, pray or live as we do. The middle, the consensus is a land of taboo, the far right or far left the only sanctuary of safety. To get us there we make sure we call anyone not like us a name.

The poor are greedy and want things they don’t deserve. The unemployed are selfish and lazy. The elderly are taking away opportunities and resources from the young. The Gays are destroying the fabric of America. The unionists want to take and never give back. The top 2% of the wealthiest Americans are cold and non-caring. The Progressives hate America. The Conservatives are heartless. The immigrants want to take the red white blue and turn it into the color of their native country’s flag. The President wants “class warfare”.

It has become so much easier to divert our energies and actions from serious participation to silly name calling. We have become masters of passive aggressive behavior, ignore the real problems but call someone a name. Ignore a common ground and instead find your own plot of land and keep anyone out you dislike by calling them a name. As America has aged in its nationhood our politics have become so childlike and out politicians like children.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names; well in 2011 they do hurt. Names harm, they hinder and they hide any reason or rhyme in making life for all of us any better.

unbroken circle

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky Lord, in the sky. ("Will the Circle Be Unbroken",traditional song)

On July 20, 1967, I was enthralled by the momentous event of a human landing on the Moon. It was science fiction coming to life and no longer was it an imagination of what if, but a reality of what is next. And I remember my father sitting on his favorite Lazy-Boy recliner saying out loud to anyone watching the television in our living room, you would think if we could put a man on the Moon, what potential there is for changing our lives on Earth.

It had never occurred to me, until my father had spoken what would become a common cliche, how correct he was in his thought. All of the energy, the imagination, the effort, the intense desire to achieve a goal. All the leeway, leverage and freedom to accomplish a task and succeed. Some restrictions, but not enough to deter a thought process, some gamesmanship but not enough to permit free thought and freer attempts, some limitation but never enough to stop process and progress.

Imagine what could happen on Earth if we used the same priorities, importance, practices we used to get a man on the Moon.

I am not sure when I then realized that in most matters of quality of life, healthier life styles, better living conditions if we as a nation really wanted to succeed in making living on Earth a positive matter of existence as we did in placing a man on the Moon, it most likely could happen. The placing of a man on the Moon was as simple as considering getting from point A to point B. It was time consuming, confusing, complicated, but the resources of intelligence, dollars, patience and a common goal took precedent and we arrived on the Moon.

I am most confused as to why matters of universal health care, equal quality in the standard of living, clean air, environmentally safe energy, and respect for all human life seems as distant to the people of this planet as the consideration of flying to Jupiter and back. I am not sure how if man can create a space shuttle, life support systems to live on space craft for 6 months, innovative space clothing to keep he cold and heat out, how it is so impossible for us to grow enough food for all humans to consume, provide preventative health care eliminating the possibilities of human diseases, developing clean energy and scores of other man made infections that if created by man certainly could be eliminated by man.

In this insensitive, intense, indulgent political climate in which we live it seems petty is a priority. It seems personal political careers trump the human condition. It seems that blame and bias are more important than results or reason. It seems as simple as it was as man working with man in union with one another to get us on the Moon, it is more and more difficult to move one inch from obstinate to almost to consensus on this Earth!

I believe we are as weak as we want to be as humans but as brave, bold and bountiful if we only wish for more for all of us. The moon was once so far away, so magical, so unreachable and yet we placed a flag on its surface proclaiming the greatness of humans the willingness of humans to work as one.

We sang the songs of childhood,
Hymns of faith that made us strong,
Ones that our mother had taught us,
Hear the angels sing along

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky Lord, in the sky. ("Will the Circle be Unbroken", traditional song)

Let them eat cake, maybe

"If they have no bread, let them eat cake!" ("S'ils n'ont plus de pain, qu’ils mangent de la brioche.") –Marie Antoinette. The original quote comes from Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Confessions: "I recalled the make-shift of a great princess who was told that the peasants had no bread and who replied: ‘Let them eat brioche’." ("Je me rappelai le pis-aller d’une grande princesse à qui l’on disait que les paysans n’avaient pas de pain, et qui répondit, qu’ils mangent de la brioche.") He was referring to an incident in Grenoble, 1740, ten years before Marie Antoinette was born. It has been speculated that he was actually writing of Maria Theresa of Spain or one of various other aristocrats though no evidence has ever been offered for this. In the meantime, Marie Antoinette's attribution to the quote was current in her time in antiroyalist propaganda, most likely to hasten her way to the guillotine

Usually my drive to work is filled with the news in depth on our NPR station in LA, KPCC. I enjoy listening to both sides of an argument, and as they say on KPCC "no rant, no rave". NPR tries its hardest to present the whole version of the story and limits a reporters version of the story. I respect that.

On Thursday, however, I almost had to turn off the radio. I grew physically angry and felt so upset listening to a speaker from the Rand Group a conservative so called "think tank". The social scientist representing the Rand Group spoke in his I only know this from theory not practice voice, insisting that the poor of this nation are really not that poor. He added that those living in poverty are really not THAT impoverished, and that the federal governments poverty level of $22,000 for a family of four is not so bad after all. He added that sure there are some really poor people in the US, but most who consider themselves poor are just whiny spoiled people who want more and deserve less.

Recently we have heard that workers who demand a minimum wage or better benefits or a decent work environment are the culprits and reason for the recession the US is facing. We have heard that older Americans are selfish because they want to receive their social security entitlements they paid for their entire work life. We have been lectured to that unemployment benefits make a person lazy, and that food stamps encourage people to not seek work because they can eat better by using government money. And now from the mouths of a Conservative "think tank" we are told that poor people are not so poor and living off of $22,000 for four is more of a luxury then a consequence.

Once again those who are employed, who make a six figure salary, who don't live in the neighborhood as a soup kitchen, who have a first and second home, who look down rather than among, are making statements based on their own theory and not on the reality of those about whom they speak. Once again it the poor, the elderly, the impoverished, the middle class who are cause for the economic collapse of this nation. Once again those with the resources to make change, make a difference differ to solving the crisis and look for convenient scapegoats to blame.

It has become so frustrating for me when all I see gathering around the table are powerful people who have no idea about choosing food or rent or health care. I am growing so tired of this committee or that ad-hoc group made up of CEO's, billionaires, financial managers and no one from the communities infected with the greed and gluttony of the wealthy. I am becoming so leery of politicians deciding on the welfare of the poor, unemployed, elderly, minorities, disabled by checking first with their financial contributors to their political careers or the lobbyists who have come to own them.

The talking head from the Rand Group has probably never been hungry, never had to eat just one meal a day, not go to the doctors office because the rent was due, not buy his kids new clothes. He has probably sat in the same tower with a moat surrounding him drinking an aged brandy as all of the people in this nation who would rather point fingers at others without ever recognizing his/her own responsibility in making life better for all of us.

"Crisis? What Crisis?" – attributed to British Prime Minister James Callaghan. "Crisis? What Crisis?" – was the headline in The Sun on January 11, 1979. Callaghan had been asked what his policy was in view of the 'mounting chaos' and replied "I promise you that if you look at it from outside, and perhaps you're taking rather a parochial view at the moment, I don't think that other people in the world would share the view that there is mounting chaos."

tell me why

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard is said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why (“Why”, by Annie Lennox)

Why are ALL acts against human rights committed under the guise of religion not considered forms of terrorism? Why do we insist that Islam is the one and only foundation for terror when in this country we have Christians insisting that homosexuals are not equal, women who want protection for their own reproductive rights have no such freedoms, and any minority who asks for their fair share are looked upon as un-American?

Why do those politicians who align themselves with God, seem to only revere a vengeful and spiteful God? Why do their Gods seem to feel health care for all is wrong? Why do their Gods find working for a decent wage so wrong? Why do their Gods enjoy humans to be separate but equal? Why do their Gods insist that all of us who love should not create families made from that love?

Why is it that wealthy employed people seem to think they know more about the poor and unemployed? Why are the ‘mavens’ always the ones who have never experienced the world in which they assume they have the expertise to speak about? Why are their plans to cure the poor, the unemployed, the elderly based on theory rather than practice?

Why do we hear that it is the worker who is the culprit for the economic ills of this nation? Why don’t we look at our history of economics in the past 10 years and track just how much the wealthy have contributed to our downturn? Why are two unbudgeted wars, tax cuts for the wealthy, less stringent regulations on the financial industry, never the reason for our recession? Why do we insist the middle class, the worker, the elderly have to be the ones to make concessions? Why do we have almost 3 trillion dollars in the bank accounts of corporations and no one seems to think that money could be used to hire new workers and stop this insane circle of poverty?

Why is it that people like the Kardashians, Bristol Palin, the Housewives of any city, pregnant teen moms, Donald Trump, Kate Goslin, Snooki, vengeful room mates, are famous and worshiped? Why is it that the quality of giving, sharing, helping, listening are considered boring while taking, greed, selfishness, self serving adored? Why is it that talent, skill, craftsmanship are replaced with gaudy, arrogant, ignorant? Why is it that reality is scripted, real ignored and reasonable abandoned?

Why is it that teacher’s are considered vile and like parasites and preached to that their salaries are considered too high, while we have no problem paying $100 tickets to a professional basketball game or $150 for a football game or $18 a ticket to see a movie? Why is it those first responders are necessary to save lives, prevent destruction but when we are asked to pay for health insurance or retirement, they are considered selfish? Why is it that our bridges are falling down our roads impassable, our schools crumbling but when we want to hire construction workers to remedy this we hedge and think paying them union wages is outrageous?

Why is it that many of those running for the office of President of this great nation provide a platform of divide and conquer, separate but not equal, we vs., them, my God is not your God? Why is it if we a great enough nation to elect our first African American president, we have suddenly become racist, hateful, bigoted and biased? Why is it that health care for all is a divisive topic, marriage equality a deal breaker, women’s reproductive rights an issue, decent wage for all workers a problem, getting old and asking to get back what you originally gave a sin, marriage for those who love someone of the same sex outrageous, asking everyone to pay his/her fair share of taxes unpatriotic? Why have we become a country fixated on identifying the problem, placing blame and not even interested in consensus and compromise? Why?

And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why (“Why”, by Annie Lennox)

"it's alive, it's alive!"

"I was dependent on none and related to none. The path of my departure was free, and there was none to lament my annihilation. My person was hideous and my stature gigantic. What did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? These questions continually recurred, but I was unable to solve them". (quote from the monster in the novel Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley)

I thought politics could not get any scarier when Mitt Romney said corporations are people and they have feelings and the same rights as poor, unemployed and elderly Americans. I thought politics could not get any scarier when Rick Perry boasted about the over 150 inmates he has put to death in Texas and even when asked if some may be innocent all he remarked was that is not important. I thought that politics could not get any scarier when Ron Paul said if you can't afford health insurance or medical treatment then it was a bad choice so your consequence may be to die for poor judgement. I thought politics could not get any scarier when Michelle Bachmann said a woman should be subservient to her husband and her husband, a potential first husband, called Gays barbarians. I thought politics could not get any scarier when Rick Santorum said abortion is murder no matter the circumstances even if a woman is raped by her father. I thought politics could not get any scarier when thrice married Newt Gingrich said same sex marriage defiles the sanctity of marriage for opposite sex couples.

I thought politics was scary because of the politicians who claim to be pro life but try their hardest to deny a good life. I thought politics was scary because of the politicians who claim small government is good while wanting to govern the way we wed, take care of our bodies, how we worship, and who we kill. I thought politics was scary because of the politicians who ridicule the poor the working class, the elderly while codling the wealthy providing them with the funds they take away from everyone else.

But during the Republican/Tea Bag debates, the Republican/Tea Bag rallies, the gathering of Republican/Tea Bag PACS I have discovered that it is not the politicians who are scary, it is the bigoted, biased, selfish, self serving Americans who give the energy to the politicians. It is the self loathing, hateful hoodlums, self victimizing American who can't see beyond his/her greed, gluttony and glorification of self who are scary.

I have discovered that politicians are scary, but they are only scary due to the power and the prestige given to them by the public. I have discovered that unless there are millions of Americans ready to hate, impugn, negate, deny, ignore the rights, integrity, facts, status of others, then no politician could ever become scary enough on his/her own to do any of that distasteful and loathsome behavior. I have discovered it is not necessarily the monster that is scary it is the creator of the monster, the one giving them life that is the ultimate one to fear.

"Had I right, for my own benefit, to inflict this curse upon everlasting generations? I had before been moved by the sophisms of the being I had created; I had been struck senseless by his fiendish threats; but now, for the first time, the wickedness of my promise burst upon me; I shuddered to think that future ages might curse me as their pest, whose selfishness had not hesitated to buy its own peace at the price, perhaps, of the existence of the whole human race". (quote from Victor in the novel Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley)

said with sincerity

The two anchors at KTLA channel 5 in LA provided their solemn voices and serious camera faces as they read stories about the unemployed. They agreed with one another as one anchor said how awful it must be for those losing their homes and how many homeless there are in LA and just finding one meal a day must be traumatic and difficult.

Then we had a commercial break and some more the cast of characters making up the KTLA family of entertainers had on a restaurateur who told us how easy it was to barbecue steak, make food for your party and let the pickiest of eaters find a selection of goodies that would fill their bellies. And as usual on KTLA the restaurateur then provided the already well fed well paid staff with plates of food and we watched as they gleefully shoveled down the meal.

We then broke into a story about kids not having the money for school supplies and how some families could not even afford enough clothing for their kids to be able to not have to wear the same thing all 5 days of the week. Again, the anchors and the cast of entertainers from the KTLA family sighed on cue, humbly shook their respective heads and sighed again.

Once again we had a commercial break and when we returned we were introduced to a company that coordinates the BLING table for award shows. You know the free merchandise given to the actors, directors, big wigs of the movie, TV or recording industry. We were shown jewelry for 15K, gold encrusted towels, baby strollers that almost moved by themselves, and other paraphernalia that screamed I serve no purpose but look good anyway. The coordinator of the BLING tables was beside himself with joy as he stated how much the entertainment royalty loved all this stuff.

There are other television stations in LA who in one moment speak of the misery of poverty, unemployment, lack of food and then brightly have their overly bleached, bronzed, botoxed morning crew giggle and gleefully talk about parties, mansions and mind blowing vacations. There are other television stations throughout the country that for one moment have the camera persons do a close-up on the anchor as he/she dramatically read stories of angst and anguish only to then bring on some movie star to talk about the horrors of owning more than one house, having too many red carpets to walk or their hectic travel schedule to exotic locations. So I do not solely pick on KTLA.

But here is the rub for me. Why do we think if we say aloud that in fact there are those who are living in tough times, show enough footage of their dilemma, bring on one or two spokespeople for their condition we then think we have done enough? Why is it that if we think for a brief moment we mention the machinations and meandering of those who are hungry, poor, unemployed sick we have done something useful? Why do we think if we spend 2 minutes on a story about someone in pain we have done something, anything to end the pain and hurt? Do we think by just saying it, showing, thinking it we have done anything to alleviate, eliminate, end it?

I remember when Nancy Reagan was the first lady of the land and she and her husband decided to declare a war on drugs then fight the war on drugs. It was a war and the United States always managed to win wars, so we were told, and by God this war could be over and done if we clicked our heels three times or something like that. So First Lady Nancy’s call to arms was to “just say no”. That was all it took to stop the horrors of drug use, addiction and participation. She spoke about it, said a magic potion phrase and the war would surely end in a few weeks if not a few months. Mention it once and you hve done your all.

The KTLA morning cast of characters speak about poverty, unemployment, illness and disenfranchisement and I guess as Nancy Reagan professed by stating out loud what is evil some kind of exorcism will happen the bad will be banished. They like Nancy Reagan who live a rather lavish life, feel sustained and satisfied and could go on with their life because at the least you said out loud that you realized something was bad, and perhaps that was good enough.

I am beginning to think that is how most of this country works. If you say it enough, it means you recognize it, and if you recognize it that is almost as good as trying to fix it. If you say it out loud with enough emotion and emphasis then others will think you really believe in what you said and that alone should suffice in solving the situation. If you say it often enough it sounds like you are sincere and who can argue with sincerity!

a rose is what

‘Is a rose is a rose is a rose': The line is from Gertrude Stein's poem Sacred Emily, written in 1913, ‘What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet’; From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, 1600:

What should matter is what something is, not what it is called, enabling us to possibly imagine, or consider, or even contemplate the truth. But somehow in this immediate and instant environment in which we find ourselves, once a name is called and called out of context, no one seems to bother with discovering its true meaning. It is easier to assume because it was said and said by someone who hates in the same way as us, that if it is said it is the truth.

I remember somewhere in the mid 70’s, working at a Jewish Community Center, my colleagues and I had a discussion about defining our particular demographic of the American population. In the 70’s there had been a dialogue within the black community about how they defined themselves and many in the Jewish community decided to consider their own identity. Were we Jewish Americans, were we American Jews, were we just Jews, the debate went on and on. Perhaps it was a cathartic reaction to another minority’s struggle to find definition and direction, maybe a need to seek identity or perhaps it was a useless management of time in which we just wanted to sound off and sound important? What mattered was not the vocabulary in which we asked others to identify us, but how they treated us, reacted to us, and knew us. It mattered that we could work at jobs, live in neighborhoods, raise our kids and live our lives in a fair and equal community. It mattered not what we were called rather what we were, the deeds we did.

I am now Gay, or so I am told. I was once a homosexual, a queer, a pansy. It took time for the names to change, but somehow any name said with anger, fear, loathing or religious dogma seems to be the same for those who shout it as profanity. Many religious leaders identify me as disciple of the Devil, many religious families deem me a curse, many uneducated; view me as a plague on society. The names they choose denote the bigotry and bias they carry, and the names they choose permit them to identify me without ever really getting to know me. I am not any of the above definitions and I am all of the above definitions. I am as complex as those who want to pigeon hole me, and I am as simple as those who look through me and not at me. But calling me something does not define me and that is not who I am.

In 2010 and continuing into 2011, we now like to attack those Americans who somehow seem to be recipients of entitlements. Whether it is Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, Unemployment Benefits, Food Stamps, suddenly those people are defined as un- American, a burden to society, free loaders. Suddenly the poor, the unemployed the disabled and the elderly are entitlement users and draining the good name, the good graces the good will of America. Suddenly it is age, or income, or ability that we define as depleting the American economy. We never use the same negative harsh words when the wealthiest top Americans don’t contribute their fair share in taxes. We don’t accuse the corporations who pay little to no taxes as Communists. We don’t get a lynching mob out for companies like Halliburton who receive no bid contracts for war materials, militia training or the other defense contractors whose prices for anything from toilet paper to toilets to bolts and nuts are priced 10 times higher then other competitors. Somehow if you are rich, pay off politicians, provide kick backs, future jobs for politicians or prefer cronyism the benefits you receive are not entitlements, even though the government is spending money doing so. Somehow we are selective in the name calling and more selective in the definition of who is good who is bad and who is or isn’t red, white and blue.

When asked about her poem ‘A rose is a rose is a rose’, Gertrude Stein said many times "the poet could use the name of the thing and the thing was really there." As memory took it over, the thing lost its identity, and she was trying to recover that - "(the phrase finder). Shakespeare, so we are told by scholars had a difficult time in a name defining an action an emotion, or the substance, and when he said ‘by any other name would smell as sweet’, he implied it is not the name that provides the beauty or the ugly.

Our national debate is now focusing on the entitlements, but somehow just those entitlements that provide food on our table, money in our pockets, payment for health care, and the ability to live with a roof and four walls. We dare not look at the entitlements the excesses of the wealthy; but just define the day to day existence of the poor as bad for America. ‘A rose is a rose is a rose”

we are many...

We are many...

I watched with tissue in my hands as the names were read, of the fallen from the events of 9-11. The lump in my throat thickened as after the list of names were said out loud. The two speakers at each podium then personalized a name by stating, my father, my mother, my sister, my brother, my husband, my wife, my partner my friend.

I watched as people in various shades of black skin, brown skin, yellow skin, white skin, stood erect at the podium speaking the names of the innocent who perished on 9-11. I watched as men, women, wealthy, poor, middle class, old, young recited the names of first responders, office workers, executives, mail clerks, transit officers who died on 9-11. I watched as some wore head coverings denoting their particular religious leaning. I watched as some asked God, Jesus, Allah, to watch over their loved ones. I watched as some lingered on the memories, as some quickly said goodbye, as some could not finish their sentence for those who no longer live because of he tragic events on 9-11.

We are many...

Yet it seems when the horror is over, the trauma has subsided, the noise and hurry diminished, suddenly we are no longer many but suddenly them or us or not we, The many become some of them, not us. When the rush and the roar are over we stop caring for the many, we become divisive and divide.

We all suffered as a nation on 9-11. We were told that this wound might heel and if it did we as a nation would also heal and become stronger. Despair we were told was not going to be tolerated in a nation as good as ours. Desire and dreams would emerge as we collectively gathered together to rid this nation of any disease we were told. We are strong when are one, he propaganda read.

We are many...

But 10 years later we are much more full of hate and fear and loathing on this 9-11 day. 10 years later our politics are based on separate and maybe equal, you are not as good as me, my way or no way, and consensus is a consequence. And 10 years later the greater enemy is not from foreign shores but from within.

I saw the many who lost people who mattered in their life cry, sigh, and try, all reading names of the many who died. Why do we not look at ourselves as a collective 10 years later instead of a disjointed, disgusting group? Why are not the many any more?

We are many...

my shoes

In 1970, I had the opportunity to work as a counselor at camp in Georgia called Camp Barney Medintz. The camp was associated with the Jewish Community Center of Atlanta but its physical location was in a remote part of the state a town called Cleveland.

This was, for me, the first time I had travelled to the south, with the exception of Miami Beach, and I had little idea aside from the stereotypes and pre conceived concoctions of what spending a summer in the South would really be like.

I was a Northerner, an Easterner, a Jewish kid who lived in a community predominately Jewish, white and progressive. My world had been for the most part protected, safe and rather mundane when it came to my every day existence. My level of risk was minimal and I could only image what not being similar to me and my experiences must be like. I could only imagine without any concept of truth or consequence.

The camp director, one of my hero’s from the past, Bob Schachter, knew a whole lot about people and understood that you hire people for the qualities they posses, the talents they have honed and the spirit they project. For him what counted mostly was not necessarily the outside wrapping, but the wonderful gifts inside. One of the people he hired in 1970 was a young Black woman to work at camp named Chrisite.

It was the 70’s and it was cool to know people of color. It was politically correct to reach out from our own sheltered existence and open ourselves up to those in our nation who didn’t look like us, dress like us, pray like us, or so we assumed act like us. I was entering my sophomore year at college, was deciding on a social work or education degree and considered myself forward thinking so getting to know Chrisite was an important task for me.

It was easy to be friends with Christie and I found myself actually legitimately liking her instead as some people at camp did, not patronizing her. She was a savvy individual and knew her way around bull shit and tokenism. Even though she was one of a handful of people of color at the camp she was nobody’s main event, or side show offering. I often thought how brave she had to be to spend the summer in a place where she physically stood out. But then once I knew her well, what only stood out to me was her skill set, honesty and sincere friendship.

When we had our days off one of the main events was to leave camp and find some real good southern food. One of the places very popular with the staff was the Smith House a restaurant based on family style cooking and family style eating. You would sit at a long table with at least a dozen to 18 people you didn’t know and the wait staff would place large platters of food on the tables and as if everyone at the table was your family. You then shared the goodies in front of you. In those days I weighed maybe 120 pounds had one of the fastest metabolisms of mankind and could eat anything I wanted and still not gain weight. So a trip to the Smith House and all I could eat of fried chicken, grits, corn bread and mashed potatoes made me quite happy.

Christie and I had become good friends and she along with about six other staff members managed our days off together and we headed to the Smith House. I had been there many times and this was the first trip by Christie. We entered the restaurant and as you enter you immediately are facing all the patrons. The interior was dark so once the door opened the sunlight almost rushed in like hurricane winds, most people would turn and face the light then resume their family style fare. It was kind of cool so I thought that all these people seemed to greet you by turning their heads toward you. (Even this feature made it feel like eating a meal at your parents home so family like).

A few friends entered first then Christie and I and two more people. The door opened the faces turned and there was silence. The silence soon turned into whisper and then the whisper morphed into mutter and the mutter into sighs. The hostess came over to us, and said seating was tight, so we might have to wait so all of us could sit together. We waited for half an hour. We waited as parties of six, seven and eight came in were seated. We waited until a whole section of a table became empty. It was a table at the end of the restaurant near the kitchen and almost isolated from the rest of the place. There were at least a dozen other people who had come into the place after us, but none of them were seated at our table. We looked at Christie and said should we leave? She said in a very direct and decisive answer, no, that is what they want. And besides she added I thought Jews were just as equal as everyone else.

Until that day, I had never actually been confronted with hate or bigotry or any kind of ‘ism’head on. Until that day I could only intellectualize what it must be like to be Black, what it must be like to be a scapegoat, what it must be like to be feared based on nothing but fable. Until that day I had never experienced the rebuttal and rebuke of others. On the way home we all apologized for putting her in that situation and we said how terrible we felt. She apologized for having us experience the kind of hate and loathing that she faced in her life.

As I read the headlines or listen to cable news regarding the unemployed, the poor, the elderly, hear the politicians or talking heads or journalists ruminate about those populations situation, I often think about my experience at the Smith House and Christie. I hear employed, wealthy, young to middle aged people talking about the unemployed, poor and elderly and think they know not at all of the actual trials and tribulations of this group of Americans. Without any first hand experience they still love to pontificate and pronounce remedies for them. Without once being denied employment or prioritizing food, medicine rent not trying to live off of social security these policy makers try and speak for people with whom they don’t understand the language.

I wore my tie-died T-shirts, bell bottom pants and chanted we shall overcome, I protested from afar the conditions of the Black community, but until I was face to face with rejection, condemnation and criticism at the Smith House I had no idea of the real issue.

I get so tired of people who are not unemployed telling those who are how you should feel, what you should do. I am so tired of those making six figure salaries explaining how cutting back this denying that can make you stronger. I am so tired of people in the 40’s or 50’s explaining that social security is an entitlement older people are not entitled to.

I never knew what it was like to be shunned or ignored or reviled until we went to the Smith House with Christie. I in turn am angry that those who have plenty think they can speak for those who have little or have not at all. I am angry that supposition assumption and surmising are now the standard bearers for reality and truth.

I am not sure how we fix the issues of today, but it seems we had better not talk about walking in someone else’s shoes until we actually acquire the blisters from that long, arduous road. Perhaps some sensitivity, more insight, a bit of sincerity is needed to solve major issues of our life.

brother, can you spare a dime

Once I built a railroad, I made it run, made it race against time.

Once I built a railroad; now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?

Once I built a tower, up to the sun, brick, and rivet, and lime; Once I built a tower now its done, brother can you spare a dime?"Brother, Can You Spare a Dime," lyrics by Yip Harburg, music by Jay Gorney (1931)

The new super PAC backing Rick Perry has drawn up plans to spend $55 million as part of an ambitious campaign strategy aimed at blowing away the Texas governor's rivals in early primary states and securing him the Republican nomination by next spring, according to internal committee documents obtained by NBC News (nbc news)

American businesses earned profits at an annual rate of $1.659 trillion in the third quarter according to a Commerce Department report released Tuesday. That is the highest figure recorded since the government began keeping track over 60 years ago, at least in nominal or non-inflation-adjusted terms.(nytimes)

The billionaire Koch brothers can count dozens of corporate executives and philanthropists among their million-dollar donor club, according to a new report that revealed the big givers. (politico)

President Barack Obama collected $86 million combined for his re-election campaign and the Democratic party during the past three months, giving him a large fundraising advantage over the Republican field seeking to challenge him in 2012. (huffington post)

We're in the money, we're in the money;

We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!

We're in the money, that sky is sunny,

Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong.

We never see a headline about breadlines today.

And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye

We're in the money, come on, my honey, Lets lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!

"We're in the Money," lyrics by Al Dubin, music by Harry Warren (1933)

We hear about the insecurity of businesses to hire new workers based on the ineptitude of a government unable to stabilize the near future let alone imagine a 5, 6 or 10 year plan. We hear about money being tight, based on fears that the markets are in flux because government has no solid foundation regarding economic plans or schemes. We hear about the markets erratic and irrational due to false predictions, unforeseen foibles, and inattentive government actions. We hear how tough the times are yet look at all the money being bandied about to buy and sell the laws and law makers of this great nation of ours. We hear how the middle class must tighten their belts, the elderly prioritize health care, food, rent, how the disabled must learn to walk on their own two feet, yet millions and millions of dollars are available to purchase favors from politicians. We hear how austerity is the answer to a middle class scripted as greedy and gluttonous by the same people who spend millions and millions of dollars to cash in on their bribes and buyouts of elected officials.

People are queer, they're always crowing, scrambling and rushing about;

Why don't they stop someday, address themselves this way?

Why are we here? Where are we going? It's time that we found out.

We're not here to stay; we're on a short holiday.

Life is just a bowl of cherries.

Don't take it serious; it's too mysterious.

You work, you save, you worry so, But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go!

"Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries," lyrics by Lew Brown, music by Ray Henderson (1931)

Minimum wage is a sign of socialism. Unemployment insurance makes a man or for that matter a woman weak. Unions had their place in the sun but now it is time for that sun to set. Workers can’t live off the land when they retire, even if they had cultivated that land all the years they worked. Poverty is self induced. Health care is not in the Constitution. Corporations are people.

Pick an American human condition and then find a reason why helping, assisting, providing for that American human condition is wrong and way too expensive. Choose an American human condition and then find why it is a fallacy that hunger, health, homestead are machinations of a marauding mind. List an American human condition and then find out why those who require the same content of living as the wealthy are considered needy, nuisances, nobodies. Ask for equality for all Americans and be told we can’t afford it right now.

Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,

Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum,

Half a million boots went slogging through Hell,

And I was the kid with the drum!

Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time. Say don't you remember I'm your pal.

"Brother, Can You Spare a Dime," lyrics by Yip Harburg, music by Jay Gorney (1931)

I imagine just from reading the headlines regarding politics that there are a whole lot of dimes that could be spared. It seems though that there are a lot less people who own those dimes who believe that we all deserve any or some of those coins. In a nation as great as ours it seems a shame we have the financial wherewithal to build mountains but choose to design trenches and roadblocks dividing we from they, us from them. It is a shame we must once again plead leaving all pride behind and ask, “buddy can you spare a dime”, please?