A Two Step

They were dressed in jeans with a very precise ironed crease, shiny boots in God knows how many animal skins, a bolo hanging from a very crisp and starched long sleeve cotton shirt embroidered with a ruby, sapphire and diamond outline of the US of A. They wore a bronzed belt buckle proudly announcing the name of their favorite ranch, college alma mater or jean manufacturer only outdone by the cowboy hat ordained in tans, mustards or ebonies, extra pointy, immensely wide with just the right amount of lanyard shaped like the lone star bouncing up and down as they strutted by. They were lined up at the ready to enjoy the pomp and circumstance, the rehearsed chaos, the glitter and glitz of the dance floor. They were ready to glide, gallop, stride, explode dancing the Two Step with such sincerity, integrity, intimidation and charisma!

Two men, each a couple, the look of importance, the sense of romance, the mood of intrigue as they partnered up and sashayed upon the hand laid wood of the floor. They were at the ready to embrace the rhythm add their own rhyme and flawlessly remove all the worries of the world outside this Texas honky tonk. One man, the lead, his eyes both facing the direction they would dance and glancing at his partner. The other man able to abide to the adrenaline flowing, following but as strong and defiant. One man would hold his arm high, erect like the sails of a ship ready for the wind. He would set the course. The other man a passenger as if standing on the bow of the ship ebbing and flowing with each bump and grind, step and turn. They were partners the two of them dancing magically, athletically to the Two Step.

There I was at first an observer. I had just moved to Houston Texas after finally removing the heavy burden of fear and coming out as a man who also happened to be Gay. My first Gay country/western bar. I was witnessing sights that at one time of my life would have caused consternation; two men slow dancing. I had always been told, educated, lectured that slow dance was like marriage something that took one man one woman. I was always reminded it was just the nature of things for one man and one woman when it came to slow dancing. But here I was entranced, watching strong male images, dancing together proud, sure, capable of twisting, turning, prancing. Suddenly, I was asked to dance, shy at first, slightly embarrassed, very giddy I immediately declined. How could I slow dance with a man. I might be Gay but not that Gay. And besides I always led, I was taught to lead never follow on the dance floor I am a man after all! The cowboy was persistent, just try he said I am a great leader and with the Two Step it takes as much strength to follow. So, I took his hand let him lead me to the precise spot on the dance floor. My heart raced, I felt my palms grow sweaty I had to talk my knees out of buckling, but I strode onto the dance floor. I began to hear a voice telling me this is natural, this is normal. I danced, I did not have to lead, I was able to follow and even still I danced and as I danced the music never changed but I did.

The night I Two Stepped with another man was a moment in my life that will never fade. It was one more experience in which I realized that norms were not necessarily normal; that expectations were often times as flimsy as as fiction. It was a night I knew that masculinity had nothing to with other people’s interpretations but everything to do with how I choose to live my life. That night, I learned as a Gay man I can do anything, no matter how others may wish I don’t; be it marriage, adoption or discrimination on the job. Life is like dancing the Two Step with whom ever you choose!