seeing clearly

I can see clearly now the rain is gone

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day

It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day

(“I Can See Clearly Now”, Johnny Nash)

My Dad, was a very humble and proud man. He was a man of the 50’s and thought that any emotion he had should be kept to himself and any expression of fear, or trepidation was a weakness and certainly never openly shared. His dreams of becoming a basketball or football coach were squelched many years ago in his life by his parents both Orthodox Jews very set in their ways who felt that Jewish men should own their own business, become a doctor or an attorney. My grandparents, his mother and father believed that success was a simple as three choices and if you were neither a businessman, doctor or an attorney you made the wrong choices and had to suffer the consequences.

My Dad rebelled and joined the Army, then the Navy and after his service to America he became a policeman for the city of Pittsburgh. He kept his many secrets about his success and failures but always encouraged his kids to be the best at what it is they thought they loved. When I was 17 years old I won an award from the Jewish Community Center of Pittsburgh called the Latterman Teen High Achievement Award. It was an award that honored teens for service to the JCC and acknowledged the efforts and energy of being a volunteer. The night I received that award my Dad came over to me and said whatever you do in life do not, no he added never be invisible. Never give anyone the permission to diminish your dreams or block your road to find your goals. Dreams can only triumph when they become real.

My Dad above most anything feared being invisible. He did not want to be ghost like in what he did but wished to be noticed, acknowledged, made real. He told his kids to not permit anyone from stopping them, but sadly was better in giving us confidence then learning how to bestow that gift to himself.

Being invisible I have learned is a lot easier then NOT. It seems that letting the status quo evolve is a lot more comfortable then trying to make change. It seems that permitting others to walk past you without saying wait here I am is often times more comfortable.

I try and I look at those on the street with signs stating they are hungry, homeless, lost and lonely, I may not have the aid they wish, but I want them to know they exist. I try and I nod at those who I see every day but pretend I am someone new or someone they have never seen, even though their insecurity reeks of rude and selfishness. I try and never let anyone feel invisible. How hard is it to say I see you?

In America of 2011, we seem to have those who find themselves invisible and those who glow like neon signs with spotlights focused on them 24/7. We have homeless, unemployed, under insured all in plain sight but some how disparaged as wanting something they don’t deserve. We have same sex couples in love wanting the legality and respect of marriage seen as disciples of Satan. We have elderly fearful of no income, no ability for medical attention seen as selfish. We have college students wanting the American dream seen as lazy. We have Veterans returning home with medical conditions caused by wars only seen as useless now that their tour of duty is over. We have middle class working families only wanting fair and equal being told that they must wait. We have all of those demographics and more who seem to be invisible.

I am grateful for the demonstrations, the noise, the chaos created by Occupy Wall Street. For me they represent so many invisible people who are only asking to be heard and more importantly seen. This is or at least was a country of dreams, dreams with the best chance in the world to come true. It is about time we stop being told what we cannot afford, cannot become cannot dream. Why are some people seen while the rest walk around like ghosts?

I think I can make it now, the pain has gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is that rainbow I've been praying for

It's gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day. (“I Can See Clearly Now”, Johnny Nash)

We have to be visible for others to see us, but most importantly so we can all of what we should and will become.

Veteran's day

LeRoy Bloom, believed with his heart and soul that Veterans, all Veterans became heros because they permitted country to come first, honor was to serve, and freedom was precious enough to fight for even if it meant in that fight you placed your life at risk. He served in the Second World War, and was proud enough to talk about it if you asked, and quiet enough to know that what he and his fellow Veterans sometimes needed no discussion because after all this is the land of the free.

Leroy Bloom was my father-in-law, my children’s grandfather and a man who when he walked into the room immediately made friends and when he left, people saying only the nicest things about him. He told me to always buy American, even when American cars seemed to rust or go bust three days after you purchased them. When a flag was raised at any ceremony he would tear up, and his hand was alway placed tightly to his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem.

I learned about the cost of war, fighting it or the consequences of letting the bad guy win. I learned about the armed services the good the bad and the inevitable. I learned about victories and how defeat can teach a lesson, one you should, if wise enough, never forget or repeat. I learned that loving your country was something you earned not because you were born here, but you believed the dreams and desires it could provide. I learned that all America did or does is not necessarily good, but fighting for better is worth the fight.

I have known very few Veterans and know very few stories about life in a war zone, holding the hand of a comrade as he is wounded, fighting the memories of nightmares, coming home to no job, coming home disabled, coming home to a life which at one time was my reality but now seems foggy and distant. I listen as Veterans are interviewed on television, watch with sobs and tears as a small child runs into the arms of his mommy or daddy, squirm as I hear the tough decisions made to defend their lives while having to take the lives of others.

LeRoy Bloom put a heart and soul on the random faces of men and women who came home from military service. He quietly, but proudly put names and reason on the faces of the men and women who fought, who enlisted who served. He redefined for me who and what a veteran is and is not.

As with all Veteran’s Days past and present I celebrate those who have participated in something I will never know first hand. And as with all Veteran Days I immediately think about how lucky I was to have known and loved LeRoy Bloom.

ramble on

“President Obama applauds today’s vote by the Senate Judiciary Committee to approve the Respect for Marriage Act, which would provide a legislative repeal of the so-called ‘Defense of Marriage Act.’ The President has long believed that DOMA is discriminatory and has called for its repeal.

If you hate me because among other things I happen to be a homosexual, too bad. Yep it is America and free speech entitles you to say you hate me, protest my homosexuality, even demonstrate against the fact that I like among other things having sex with people of the same sex. But who the fuck are you to tell me I can not marry because I am Gay.

If you hate me because your form of religion declares that the God you prefer to worship is also a bigot, cool. If your church, or temple or mosque is filled with reasons why I may go to hell, or burn in hell or just be one more person dismissed from the Garden of Eden,okie dookey. But who the fuck are you or your priest or rabbi or preacher or Iman to tell me I can not marry because I am Gay?

If you hate me due to my homosexuality because your parents placed bias and bigotry in your morning cereal, or your father was a self loathing male or your mother feared anything she couldn’t understand, fine and dandy. If you hate my gayness because you think what I do is freer then the restrictions placed in your life by overbearing parents, or bloated lies from friends or siblings, its your choice. But who the fuck are you or your spouse or your mother or father to tell me I can not marry, because I am Gay?

If you are stuck understanding how that the majority of people who act as adulterers, or perform acts of infidelity are straight and every time they say I do, and then don’t you need to sit in front of someone other then yourself with a brain and realize the Institution of Marriage is crumbling and decaying not because of the homo’s but due to the hetero’s. And who the fuck are you to tell me I can not marry?

If you refuse to even know who I am but love to stereotype me because it makes you feel more powerful fine. And due to your lack of depth foresight, or intelligence you want live your life as an imbecile following the principles of other idiots who say God said so, go ahead. But who the fuck are you to tell me I can not marry because I am Gay?

Here I go again reading posts from people urging me to write my elected officials, reading how the President thinks hate is wrong, reading requests to call my politicians just because like all of the heterosexual men and women who cheat, wed for anything but love, divorce one, two or three times all I want to do is marry. And I have to beg, borrow and steal and demand my rights to fight against some bigoted, biased, bogus law based on nothing but HATE!

I am so tired of this game, I am so tired of permitting anyone who believes separate but equal is the same as equal of making decisions about me. I am so tired of waiting my turn for something called freedom. So fuck you for standing in my way saying I can not marry because I am Gay. I don’t want favors, I don’t want conditions, I don’t want speeches on a political soap box, I want what IS written in the Preamble to the Constitution: We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

music, music, music

Put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon
All I want is having you
And music, music, music. ("Music, Music, Music", Stephan Weiss and Bernie Baum)

Seems that music makes the world of Republican/Tea Party presidential candidates dance, gyrate, and move. Each man or woman who wants to be the next president, reminds me of a song and some sad lyrics describing how non of us will be singing anything but the blues if they get elected.

If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If being right means being without you
I'd rather live a wrong doing life ("If Loving You Is Wrong"

(Banks, Hampton and Jackson)

So, Republican/Tea Party candidate Michelle Bachmann is once again hitting the Bingo Halls, the Elks, the church bizarres telling America that socialism is bad, unAmerican, and most likely the devil's doing. She insists that the market should regulate the cost of health care and that not everyone should have equal access to it as the great socialist Obama proposes. She of course has no problem receiving her own socialist benefits of government control on farm prices (the Bachmann's own farm land and receive government regulated subsidies). She is against Obama care and never really offers an opinion on how all Americans should or could receive the best health insurance around. Well, Michelle as the song goes is socialism for health care is wrong I don't want to be right.

Watch out here I come!
You spin me right round baby, right round.
Like a record baby, right round.
Round, round. ("You spin me right round" by Boy George)

First he is for something, then he is against it. He speaks proudly of his ideals but once those he speaks to those who don't like what he says he feels threatened and he changes his mind and swears to God he was misquoted the first time. He spins more then a top on a flat surface, Willard Mitt Romney candidate for the office of President from the Republican/Tea Party is for then against then for and continues to change his mind. Mitt Romney wants the middle class to think his millions equal the same salary those still with jobs bring home. He thinks corporations are people but doesn't ask the corporations to make the same sacrifices he asks any one of the 99%to make. And his core values seem valueless as he changes his mind on almost every topic. You spin me round, round Mitt, watch out here you come.

Liar, liar, pants on fire
Liar, liar, stop your soul from catching
Fire, fire, god and maker
Liar, liar, pants on fire ("Liar, Liar"by The Castaways)

He refers to himself in the third person. He knows nothing, then he knows something, then he knows more but continues to say he is dumbfounded. He has his band of bullies try and chastise not only the women who accuse him of sexual misbehavior, but also lie about their children. He says he shoots from the hip and follows no certain expected path. He is married for at least 4 decades and assumes that makes any accuser a money grubbing female whose own life is filled with prostitution and impropriety. He is Herman Cain, candidate for President from the Republican/Tea Party ticket and since the accusations against him about sexual harassment started he has not once given a non liar answer.

(What they do)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers) ("Back Stabbers", The O'Jays)

Back from obscurity, almost out of the race all together, but when one fool falls from the good graces of the only we know God, Christian Conservatives calling themselves Republican/Tea Party faithful new fools or used to be fools suddenly make the grade. All of the sudden the man who married three times and insists its the Gays who will bring the downfall of the Institution of Marriage, who runs up a bill at Tiffany's and insists the poor are poor because they want to be poor and the rich deserve to be better, who loves to throw out facts only to be found as fiction but have enough friction to worry the lemming and the uneducated bigots is giving Herman Cain advice on how to handle the Liberal Press. Suddenly, Newtie Gingrich candidate for the Republican/tea Party nomination for President is finding favor with those who love to hate, love to love a hater, and love to linger on losers.

So, put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon
All I want is lovin' you
And music, music, music. ("Music, Music, Music", Stephan Weiss and Bernie Baum)

class

Whatever happened to fair dealing And pure ethics And nice manners? Why is it everyone now is a pain in the Ass? Whatever happened to class? ("Class", from Chicago)

You can't make this stuff up. Joe Walsh, deadbeat dad, who owes over $100,000 in back child support and lies to avoid paying it is given a "family values" blessing by the haters over at the Family Research Council? “We thank Cong. Walsh who has voted consistently to defend faith, family and freedom,” said FRCA President Tony Perkins. (crooks and liars).

Mr. Tony Perkins who sermonizes, dictates, preaches, and presents himself as a disciple of Jesus, has stated clearly that he and his organization the Family Research Council, knows best who should be a parent, how parents should raise their children, and that no matter the homosexual, he/she can and never should be a parent. Mr. Perkins approval has been sought out by Conservative politicians who insist they are more Christian then Christ, and by politicians who love hyperbole and hype but languish more so in the world of hypocrisy.

And Mr. Perkins and his Family Research Council have honored a dead beat dad, a man who has lied about his wife, saying she never requested child support, a man who would rather live his life without any financial responsibility toward his kids, a man who loves to tell others how to be a parent, Congressman Joe Walsh who has been given the True Blue Award. The True Blue award which honors Members of Congress who have exhibited extraordinary leadership and commitment to the defense of family, faith, and freedom.

Whatever happened to Please may I And Yes thank you And How charming? Now every son of a bitch Is a snake in the grass Whatever happened to class?("Class", from Chicago)

First Mr. Cain said it ain't so, then he said he couldn't remember if it was so, then he said, he kind of sort of remembers that something may have happened, then he said well maybe two things happened but he was not sure of who, or what or when. Then he said it is easy to come forward when you permit yourself to be anonymous. Then when names were provided he said they are liars and all want some kind of retribution for just being angry women. Then he said how the hell could he do anything like sexual abuse if he was a happily married man with the same woman for 45 years. And before he said all of that he said VERY LOUD and CLEAR, If elected I will push for an amendment prohibiting same sex marriage!

Most to many Christian Conservative Republican/ Tea Partiers say they still want Herman as president. For many or most of those voters Gay marriage is an issue that will destroy the Institution of Marriage, but adultery and infidelity of one of their own is just a liberal slur and a bunch of phooey and nonsense. No need to investigate the legitimacy of the claims because no Republican/Tea party candidate takes opposite sex marriage as anything but serious. And having Herman change his own story, his own memory, his own accounting for his behavior almost every hour is of no concern to the Christian Conservatives who love to hate homo's.

Whatever happened to old values And fine morals And good breeding? Now no-one even says oops When they're passing their gas Whatever happened to class?("Class", from Chicago)

I have a wonderful partner, Joe. Meeting him, knowing him, living with him has made the most magical difference in my life. One day I would like to marry him, one day soon because after all I am 62. I don't want to just have a religious ceremony, or travel to Massachusetts or the other 5 states which permit homosexuals to be treated as equals to heterosexuals, be married by their laws just to return to California with some useless piece of paper. I don't want to find an attorney who will write a bunch of papers telling doctors, hospitals, law officers that my wishes are Joe's wishes or Joe's wishes are my wishes. I don't want to do all of that when in fact people like Congressman Joe Walsh Herman Cain and all of the other hypocrite, homophobes only have to say I do.

I don't want to wait for it to get better. I don't want to wait for equal instead of separate but equal, I don't want to wait for bigoted religious leaders to stop being bigoted. I don't want to WAIT when as I WAIT idiots, lemmings, losers, can enjoy freedoms of this nation I have worked for, contributed to and created.

Oh, There ain't no gentelmen that's fit for any use, And any girl will touch your privates for a deuce And even kids'll kick your shins and give ya sass Nobody's got no class! All you read about today is rape and theft Jesus Christ, ain't there no decency left? Nobody's got no class! ("Class", from Chicago)

burn baby burn

To mass fires, yes! One hundred stories high

People gettin' loose y’all gettin' down on the roof - Do you hear?

(the folks are flaming) Folks were screamin' - out of control

It was so entertainin' - when the boogie started to explode

I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!

Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!

Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down

Burnin'! “Disco Inferno”, by the Trammps

My first year as a camp counselor at Emma Farm Camp brought with it a whole lot of firsts. One of the firsts for me was to actually go into the woods, clear a camp site, and make a fire. I had to gather the necessary elements for the fire, build a fire and keep it glowing so my campers and I would be able to make dinner, have s’mores, and keep warm during the night. I loved being a camp counselor but hated the woods part of it. But to be professional and to make sure the kids thought of me a woodsman I had to fight my fear of fire making and learn just how to do it and doit well.

During orientation week, the Outdoors Specialists, there were geeky kids before there were computers in which to be geeky, would take all the staff into the woods and demonstrate the appropriate way to build a fire. My attention span was more concentrated on the bugs, the darkness, and the fact that a local tree would have to suffice for a restroom, so i hardly paid appropriate attention on the skills necessary to build a fire. BUT, this was was an important feature in the skill set of counselors and I had to learn it in spite of my fear of everything woods.

Part of the deal at Emma Farm was receiving a One Match Card. This was a reward for building a campfire, maintaining the fire and using the fire for positive purposes teaching the campers how being the woods was fun. The Outdoor Specialists demonstrated the how’s and why’s and then tested all of the staff. Needless to say it took me the entire week to achieve a One Match Fie, and finally the day before the campers arrived I did it. To this day i still have my One Match Card.

There were three words repeated and repeated by the Outdoor Specialists and they were Tinder, Kindling, and Fuel. These were the elements of life in building a fire, remember these and one could become woodsman/woman and live off the naked necessities of the woods. And more importantly one could be a super hero counselor.

TINDER

Place your tinder in a small pile in the middle of the fireplace.

Crumple the sheets of newspaper loosely and individually.
Mound them in the fireplace, ring or pit.
Distribute the kindling above the paper.

KINDLING

Build the kindling around your tinder,
making sure that you do not pack it too tight,
as the fire will need oxygen to burn well.

Stack loose enough to allow air flow but close so it catches fire

FUEL

Gradually add the fuel into the shape that you want. Don't rush this stage and make sure that the wood you are adding is less than twice the size of that which is already burning.

Larger sticks & logs should be added as the fire is going well.

To this day I remember the the three words that could when used together take the quiet of the world and brighten them up with flames and fire. It seems all we need is tinder, kindling and fuel to create something as simple as a camp fire or something as combustable as hate.

Tinder, tell the dumb, the fearful, the lemming the President is not an American, not a Christian.

Kindling, have the liars on FOX News or the bigots like Limbaugh, Coulter, Beck, Palin repeat the lies as they place their hands on a Bible, the Flag, their version of the Constitution.

Fuel, permit the preachers those who say they invented God remind those who love to hate that a hateful God is selective as to who is good and who is bad.

Tinder, inform the masses that fair wages, fair work conditions, health care for all is not the American way.

Kindling, explain to the stupid that you need to earn your way in this world and if the government assists you in any which way then you are a failure,

Fuel, have really wealthy people pay for really poor people to recite some mantra that never states the obvious but is full of innuendo and fiction.

Tinder, blame your woes on someone else.

Kindling, find a scapegoat to blame for all the ills in the nation and instead of really finding resolve, find reason to accuse someone else.

Fuel, really wealthy people pay to keep really poor people dumb. Demonstrate the negative of others never providing the positive for your point of view.

Politics in this nation over the past dozen years has been about building fires, never putting them out. Politics has become about savvy selfish men and women laying the tinder and kindling using the fuel of of ignorance, fear, loathing, bigotry of those so willing to cast doubt, deny, excuse, and lie. And through the efforts of those who care little for anyone but themselves fires have been raging in this nation ready to burn down a country so full of promise, equality and freedom for all.

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!

Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!

Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down

Burnin'! “Disco Inferno”, by the Trammps

what stays in college

When I was a sophomore in college way back in the late 60's, the VERY cool phrase used to describe anyone weird, anyone with lack of content, anyone stupid was to use the words 'douche bag'. But because we were really COOL we didn't just use douche bag we had to give it a flavor, and depending on the flavor used we determined the degree of douchieness the person deserved. Liars were considered spearmint douche bags, back stabbers were called peppermint douche bags, and hypocrites were defined as ass wipe douche bags. Along with staying up all night to cram for an exam, being able to party 21 hours of a 24 hour day on a weekend, and wearing anything bell bottomed upon the senior year of college I stopped using the words douche bag to describe anything or anyone...

...Until now...

"Our blacks are so much better than their blacks,” said Ann Coulter, speaking of Democrats. “To become a black Republican, you don’t just roll into it. You’re not going with the flow…and that’s why we have very impressive blacks in the Republican party.”(Newsone).

Ms Evilena Coulter has no problem in spewing hate, racism and bigotry. Somehow she is never chastised and instead of being sent to the corner for time out she ends up selling more books with fellow racists, homophobes and bigots waiting anxiously to get her autograph. When she was ranting and raving about Gays (and I always wonder when one protests too loudly about Gays if one is in denial), I considered her the product of an abortion gone bad. But now Ms Coulter acting like the owner of plantation complementing her blacks is more like an ass wipe douche bag.

...And now...

"This is gutter partisan politics, and it's the politics of minority conservative personal destruction," he said. "...It really is about blacks and Hispanics getting too uppity." The notion that the media treats black conservatives more harshly than black liberals or Democrats is one of Limbaugh's frequent themes. He wondered aloud what would happen if the story had been about President Obama. The media, he said, would have attacked the unnamed women in the story. (HuffPost)

From a man who has not stopped calling the President one slur after another, from a man who has demeaned women on his radio talk show, from a man who has disregard for anyone who does not make the amount of money he earns calling this partisan politics is more than ridiculous, and more than that pure ridicule and ruminates on audacity and pure lies. We must always be ware when a lion feigns hurt, in most cases all he is doing is lying in wait to attack. The words that come to mind is spearmint douche.

...and now...

"Mr. Cain, Clarence Thomas, before he was to attend his confirmation hearings was attacked with sexual harassment charges, now you who are a leading candidate for President, do you think because you are a strong conservative black man, feel that race, is the reason for these charges"? Charles Krauthammer while interviewing Cain on a (FOX News special report).

Mr. Krauthammer relentlessly harangued Bill Clinton, found no reason for any excuse from Anthony Wiener, and relentlessly hounded John Edwards before any evidence of any of these politicians infidelity were admitted. He was judge and jury on most to all Democrat adulterers and said America does not need to spend any more time on men with no morals. Mr. Cain however is being harassed because he is not an immoral man but a Republican.

Mr. Krauthammer of the "Fair and Balanced" three ring circus is a peppermint douche bag.

...and finally...

And Herman Cain running for the office of the most important powerful leader in the world is just a douche bag. His flip flops, his denials then memory jolts, his it never happened to it may have happened do nothing to prove his innocence but in fact leave plenty of room for guilt. His account of how the story didn't happen then how it might have happened, and suddenly if it did happen are stale attempts at not taking any responsibility for inappropriate actions. Mr. Cain has already made more comment on an action that supposedly because of a settlement in court was never to be mentioned and since he has spoken so bravely about a silly accusation by an angry employee, should now ask the Restaurant Association to let the two women speak out. If it is nothing then as quickly as it has become news it will blow away in the wind.

As the slogan goes what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, fits well to what happened in college stays in college. But somehow as I reflect on the usage of douche bag and all the iterations thereof I kind of think that part of my past need no longer stay in the past. Calling those who are douche bags douche bags feels as good as a burp when you eat too much food, and a fart when you just can't hold it in anymore.