from one boy

It was Valentines Day celebration in Mrs Langer’s second grade classroom at Linden Elementary School in Pittsburgh. The day before all the kids decorated their shoe boxes into Valentine’s art in preparation for the big day when everyone would walk around and place Valentine cards in the boxes for the entire class. Mrs. Langer actually would bake a cake and encouraged any mom to provide other snacks. Mrs. Langer also used Valentines Day as a lesson plan as she had each student read at least one Valentine out loud along with the greetings etched on the tiny multi-colored pieces of heart candy.

In second grade, it was perfectly fine for a boy to send another boy a “Will You Be My Valentine”, or “I Want You To Be My Valentine” greeting. There was no second guessing as to what that meant, or any supposition that boys asking other boys to be their Valentine was creepy or un-Christian like or for the 98% of Jewish kids in my classroom un-Jewish like.

In third grade, Valentines Day was still celebrated but it was the beginning of the reality that boys didn’t send other boys Valentines, unless the valentines had athletes on it instead of Cupids, and if the card just said Happy Valentines Day. The rules that the fairest of actions that all kids received cards ended (the concept of popularity began) and only about 10 minutes at the end of the homeroom period was provided for the distribution of the cards. Also, there was a lot less boys decorating a shoe box in the third grade.

It was only the third grade but the lesson about gender roles, accepted gender behavior, gender discrimination were being taught and you needed to study hard because the consequences of ignoring those lessons had some grave results. Suddenly within one year it was “queer” for a boy to send another boy a Valentines card. Suddenly within one year snickers and laughs erupted if any boy handed out any kind of Valentines card with too many hearts on it. And suddenly it was very clear that boys were expected to have a different kind of relationship between one another and sending a Valentines card was a prelude to being a homo!

It was no longer just Valentines Day, while in the third grade, but the beginning of a journey traveling through perceived social norms, visiting subjective social pressures, and entering into the world homophobia. Teach people at a young age to seek out what might be different, and once recognized teach them to fear, loath and hate it and the people who identify with it.

It is Valentines Day and I am now out of Linden School for over 45 years but I still witness some around me who still don’t understand that boys can send boys Valentine cards that say “Be My Valentine”, “You Are My Valentine”, and “I Love You on Valentines Day”. I watch as the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie is planning to veto his states legislature who passed a bill stating that same sex marriage should be approved because it is matter of civil rights. He refuses to place civil rights above his own selfish need to eventually run for president not ever wanting to look weak on hating the homo’s, but look big on hate and that old time harbinger of hate, old time religion. The Governor must of been one of those boys when in the third grade never, ever sent another boy any kind of frilly, pink heart filled Valentines card.

I remember the safety of Mrs. Langer’s second grade classroom and the freedom to express ourselves as we each saw fit. Those were the days. But now these are the days and I can openly, proudly and lovingly say out loud, Joe, my partner, my friend, the love of my life I am glad you are my Valentine. I love you now and forever. Happy Valentines Day from one boy to another.

religious freedom

Sharia law is the moral code and religious law of Islam. Also meaning "path" in Arabic, sharia guides all aspects of Muslim life including daily routines, familial and religious obligations, and financial dealings.

Ever since the devastation of 9/11, this country, with the lead of the Conservative Christians, the leadership of Republican Party, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, FOX News we have all been warned about the coming of the Crescent and the battle for our souls and the governance of this nation. We have been warned that any religion that acts as a dictatorial body, that does not care for the individual rights of the American is dangerous, evil and so Un-American.

We have been told by the Republican/Tea/Libertarian Party politicians and their marketing experts, that what is wrong in this country is the lack of individual rights. The Republican/Tea/Libertarian Party has called out the president for insisting that all Americans receive health insurance and loudly in the past and silently (cowardly) in the present we have been told that as a Muslim, President Obama is exerting some kind of Sharia Law. The premise is Obama is not a true Christian and his anti Christ ways deny freedom to America.

We are warned and have been warned that Sharia Law will be coming to a city and town near you acting like acid to the Constitution of the United States, you know the Constitution created and signed by Jesus Christ.

Conservative/Evangelical Christian Truth explain that abortion (no matter the reason, mothers life, rape, incest) is wrong, evolution is not proven, same sex marriage is a sin, never a contraceptive shall be purchased, and global warming/climate change are not man made but man made buffoonery.

As each candidate running for president trying to represent the Republican/Tea/Libertarian Parties shouts louder then the next that Obama is a Socialist, Communist each and every man also shouts even louder that, if elected no Gays will marry, abortions will become illegal, all environmental laws impeding the bottom line of corporations will be canceled, women will have no rights to their reproductive body parts, and Obama Care will be replaced with afford health care and live if you can afford it, and if you can’t afford it die.

As each candidate running for president from the Republican/Tea/Libertarian Party insists that President Obama is all about denying personal freedoms destroying the purpose and promise of our Constitution, each and every man also insists that their religion will be the guiding light way forward and laws will be put in place to keep this nation Christian.

I have learned, from watching the precision of Karl Rove, Rupert Murdoch, The Koch Brothers, Citizens United, and the Activist Republican Supreme Court Justices, that ignoring evidence, evading the truth, and enveloping the hate filled ignorant in a fiction filled frenzy will win the day. I have learned that hypocrisy is heralded as honor, do as I say not as I do honorable, and scapegoating, victimizing someone any one to avoid your own lies is triumphant for victory. I have learned that fear without cause is the trump card for a winning hand in destroying American civil liberties.

We have been told over and over ad nauseum that Sharia Law will rule and creep into our lives changing our life liberty and pursuit of happiness. We are warned that the end of freedom will happen when Sharia Law find its footing in this nation. And while we are warned that no religion will EVER usurp the First Amendment, we are warned that if we don’t follow the Christian principals as espoused by the candidates running for president for the Republican/Tea/Libertarian Parties America will not be free.

Sharia Law stands no chance in hell to ever, ever, ever become the law of this nation, but watch out folks, if Romney, Santorum, Gingrich or Paul become the president, THEIR religious laws WILL become law for ALL of us.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...(portion of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution).

before, now

Before the Blacks in this nation became free women and men, you could listen to a sermon at your local church and listen as the preacher, minister recanted chapter and verse in the Bible telling you why Blacks were and are inferior. They would find passage after passage explaining the two rung theory of evolution, after all it was God’s way.

Before women were given the right to vote, to work in jobs not menial or inferior to men you could put on your Sunday go to church clothes on and sit in the pew and be read to from your minister or preacher how God created Eve from Adam’s rib and wanted her to be less then the man. Men were leaders, women were carriers of babies.

Before people of different races were permitted to marry one another, you could cozy up in your seat in church and listen to a preacher or minister stand upon his pulpit and excitedly explain how God created the races to be separate. They would offer evidence found in some book of the Bible demanding that Blacks marry Blacks, Whites marry Whites and any integration of the two was the work of the Devil.

Before this nation realized that the Constitution was written for all of its citizens we were always told why change was bad. We were always told that one could find fact in the Bible telling us God’s way versus man’s ways. We were preached to ministered to on cultural conservatism and that rights or freedoms for some were not the Christian way in this Christian-Judea nation of ours. The men of cloth always warned the majority to take heed of the minorities needless selfishness to want fair and equal. God created man, many a preacher or minister would add, the White man, and if the White man does not stand strong then somehow religion will totter and God will fall from Heaven.

Now we are witnessing a plethora of angry individuals who lack a backbone and a conscience and the insight to identify their own frailties and failures. Now we see people wanting to blame others for their unfortunate lives, wanting to victimize others, scapegoat others and punish others stating it is THEY who make one’s personal life so full of misery and miserable. Now we see the Bible once again used as ammunition as justification for the human weaknesses of bias, bigotry and bogus. Now we see yet one more war, a cultural war being declared whose only goal is exclude, segregate and divide.

Now we have millions of people who swear that God has told them homosexuals are bad. Now we have millions of people who find passage and verse in the Bible warning us that God, as powerful as he might be, will grow weaker each time a man says I do to another man, each time a woman with her female partner want to adopt a child, each time a soldier who happens to be Gay puts on a Unites States military uniform. Now we have once again reverted to the time like BEFORE when fearful people used God as an excuse for their own inhumanity.

Before we had some brave women and men who saw the hypocrisy of religious dogma, who understood the separation of church and state, who knew that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness belonged to ALL citizens of this nation and they rose above the inane and insane. Before we had leadership which was less self serving and more serving for others. Before we were able to rise above the petty, refute the ridiculous, and rule in a way of inclusiveness and insight. Now, it seems we have forgotten our history, replace right for wrong, and refuse to see the beauty of freedom for all and deny, dismiss and demean. Now we have set our sites to elect monsters instead of men.

Before we were told of doomsday scenarios if Blacks were free, Women voted, the Races intermarried. The preachers and ministers warned of dire results if their hate filled version of the Bible was ignored. Before, we were told it would be too late if we denied God his way. And then Blacks were freed, Women voted, and Interracial Couples married, and there was no second coming of the Lord.

When do we ever, ever learn that when man invents God we have horrible results, when man plays God we have dire consequences? Isn’t it time NOW to stop that madness? If not NOW when?

motherhood, America

I stand for Motherhood, America and a hot lunch for orphans, take off your hat, sir while your country’s flag is passing. Do you see him on the hill at Gettysburg ‘Neath that great triumphal arch? If you see him trampling through the grapes of wrath Stand up and march, march, march (“Motherhood March, by Jerry Herman)

With great chest pounding one hand on the Bible, the flag flowing in the wind, a blond haired lass in a pink dress and a brown haired lad in a baseball cap and his puppy Duke next to him, voices raise in a choir of righteousness and indignation proclaiming that it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve who were the first parents, of America and it was God’s will to have heterosexuals as parents. A tissue is raised to the tear about to drip from the eye, a defiant fist is semi raised to the sky and a look featuring a furrowed brow, the lowering of the right side of the neck and pursed lips as the heterosexual victims pledge that they are the rightful owners of the kids and only they have the where with all, morals, values and judgements to raise the children the way God has asked all of them to do...

...and as this scenario is played on FOX News, the 700 Club, the agendas for all the Republican/tea Party candidates for president America watches as...

...1 million heterosexual mothers shout profanities to their 2.5 each children about Ellen Degeneres being a degenerate because she among many thing happens to be a Lesbian. 1 million heterosexual mothers insist that for no other reason then the fact that Ellen likes to kiss girls she is not equal, less then and a boggy-woman. 1 million heterosexual moms, lie to their kids, teach intolerance to their kids, discriminate in front of their kids, and linger in a hate filled rhetoric that will lay evil foundations for future generations. And contemplate that if even one, let alone the possibility of 10% of those children of the 1 million mothers is Gay...imagine what kind of self loathing and self denial these heterosexual mothers are instilling on the kids they say God has blessed...

...1000’s of heterosexual mothers look their daughters in the eye and tell them they are shameful, disciples of the Devil, a disappointment to their families and God, lost souls because their daughters are trying to discover their own sexuality and in finding it may find themselves wanting other women. 1000’s of heterosexual mothers have decided that their new boyfriend, their new love of their life, their drug addiction, their lack of interest in being a mother usurps any and all responsibility toward their daughters and kick their daughters out of the house making their daughters homeless. 1000’s of heterosexual mothers disown their daughters, abandon their daughters, raise their daughters without love, without direction...imagine the role model each daughter uses to become a woman or mother in the future...

...100’s of wanna be’s, I wish it was me’s, I am NOT doing this for me but my child insists on it heterosexual mothers place their very young daughters in beauty pageants highlighting their daughters boobs and booty, skimpy clothing, tasseled and teased hair and their gaudy, hooker like make up. 100’s of heterosexual mothers whose own dreams never came to fruition insist on presenting to their daughters misinformation on what it takes to be a beautiful woman, error filled emotions on what beauty should be, and selfish conflicting insight on how it is the beauty from within that makes a woman attractive not her too tight clothes or caked on makeup. 100’s of heterosexual mothers showcase the frailties and failures of their own lives via their tormented and tortured daughters...imagine how each little girl will define her identity and individuality if and when they grow older...

...The national anthem plays in the background, church bells ring in the distance, soapboxes are erected for pompous people to propose propositions denying homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals. Hymns with choruses of “...its for the children...” “...its Gods way...” “...I stand for motherhood and the American way...” “only Socialists, Communists or the anti Christ would have two dads or two mothers...” are sung by holier than thou’s who never once take time to look in the mirror but love to waste time monitoring someone else’s life. Heterosexual Preachers, Ministers, Rabbis predict the end of days coming sooner with each same sex marriage, each same sex household raising children, each same sex family adopting lonely and lost kids. And heterosexual mothers shout that only they can nurture the child. Heterosexual mothers beat their breasts stating it is a heterosexual love that counts and a homosexual action that kills...

I stand for Motherhood, America and a hot lunch for orphans take off your hat sir, there’s a tear stained eagle passing Do you see him on the field at Waterloo Neath that great triumphal arch Stand up and march, march, march! (“Motherhood March”, by Jerry Herman)

before it is too late

In the name of God, I can hate as hard as I want. In the name of God I can belittle and bully. In the name of God I can deny and restrict. In the name of God I can pretend to be pure while I consider you evil and vile. In the name of God I am right no matter what and you simply do not exist!

I can quote scripture and verse, find passage and prose, eliminate the bad from the good and define value and moral, all in the name of God. I can place fear in the politician who has little need for religion but plenty of want for any and all votes, all in the name of God. I can point a finger to the sinner, define his sin and absolve my self of any self serving bias or bigotry, all in the name of God.

I can tell you its for the children, saying life begins at conception, but once the baby is born it is not my problem to help it grow and thrive, its all God's will. I can tell you that rape and incest are lemons and you must make lemonade from them as its Gods recipe for women. I will swear global warming, climate change do not exist, its an invented ploy by Atheists, Communists and Socialists to undermine God's creations. I know God never wanted women to vote, blacks to have equal rights and Gays to marry, when he wrote the Constitution. God knew women were to be subservient, blacks inferior and Gays sinners when he let the devil create them so why would he give them any rights at all?

I believe in God, my God, and my God is the only power I will acquiesce to, defer to or acknowledge as superior to me. I believe my God is all powerful but those Gays are wily, those dark skinned people sly, those loose women sneaky and those poor people dangerous, so I will just make sure they don't interfere with Gods work and try to weaken him ( even though he IS God). I believe I am a warrior for God and peace will only happen when we defeat the enemy (and since I speak to God ALL the time he has informed me who the enemy IS).

God is good, but my hate, my bigotry, my ignorance, my animosity, my fear, my loathing, my insecurity make him better. God is good but his goodness can only be seen after I decide who is the enemy, whose actions are inappropriate, whose thoughts I dismiss and whose love is not real all of that makes God better. God is good but I make him better by playing God, leaves him with more important things to do.

God has once again with great vim, vigor and vigilance come to the United States via politics and wants to take no prisoners. Wait, it's not God but just those false prophets who know less about God and more about playing God. It's less about God but more about playing God like. God help us all before it is too late!

you do, i don't

A three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled 2-1 that a lower court judge correctly interpreted the U.S. Constitution and Supreme Court precedents when he declared in 2010 that Proposition 8 — a response to an earlier state court decision that legalized gay marriage — was a violation of the civil rights of gays and lesbians.

However, the appeals court said gay marriages cannot resume in the state until the deadline passes for Proposition 8 sponsors to appeal to a larger panel of the 9th Circuit. If such an appeal is filed, the panel's ruling would remain on hold until it's resolved.

"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples," states the opinion written by Judge Stephen Reinhardt, one of the court's most liberal judges.

And with this good news, I as a Gay man can not get married in the state of California. With the news that Prop 8 is unconstitutional, I still can not get on bended knee and ask the man I love, honor, and respect more than any other to marry me. With the announcement from the Circuit Court of Appeals stating that MY civil rights has been violated by Prop 8, it is still illegal for me to place a wedding ring on my partners hand and ask the state of California to recognize our union of marriage.

I am celebrating this momentous step in reinstating civil rights, but I am sad that more days, more weeks, more months and maybe more years may have to come and go for me to be equal to people like Newt Gingrich, David Vitter, Herman Cain, Anthony Weiner, John Ensign, Bill Clinton and John Edwards.

I hear from the LGBT leadership this is not a race but a marathon, and one small step is one more step ahead taking us from behind. I hear the joy in the words of the LGBT community that we made it this far. I hear the the congratulations from the Progressives, and Independents the Heterosexuals saying stick with it it will happen. But even with all that noise I still CAN NOT ask the man in my life who has made this life even better to marry me and become a legally recognized married couple making us equal instead of separate but equal. There was a victory today for the fair minded American, but the defeat of hate, bias and bigotry still keeps me as less than, and my life is so much more than that.

f what?

America was SHOCKED, OMG, once again something disturbing, eroded the white bread, apple pie tapestry that is the Super Bowl and in particular the half time show of the most wholesome of wholesome events. No wardrobe malfunction this time but instead the scandalous manipulation of the wicked, MIDDLE FINGER, by MIA and its ever venomous silent but deadly message telling anyone in its radar, F- You!

Somehow water stops ebbing or flowing, crickets stop chirping, and children’s live are stunted for good whenever the middle finger addresses the public on public TV. When the middle finger is raised all sin celebrates and all sinners sing a symphony, give the finger and the Devil lives and good dies.

Somehow it is the action of the middle finger that insights Bibles to be thumped, minions to proclaim God is dead, and blindness to overcome the eyes of babes. It is wrong, terrible an embarrassment and UnAmerican to say F-You via the finger, but somehow saying F-You any other way is just fine and dandy.

Everyday Rick Santorum is on the trail to instate his morals and ethics to the American public and he belies and bullies Gays, Women, and Muslims he is using the F word in declaring that these demographics are less then and surely not equal to. Everyday, Newt Gingrich, flaunts his third wife, and insists he Is the spokesman for the Institute of Marriage, and stands upon his self serving bully pulpit defining same sex marriage as a plague and something he personally has spoken to God about, he is producing F-You bombs left and right. Everyday Mitt Romney brags about firing people, his disdain for anyone poor, and defiantly defending his low tax or no tax status he is proficient in setting off F-You gunshots at anyone not in the 1%.

The fuss continues about MIA and the raising of the finger. YOU TUBE is a buzz, Google is as jumpy as the Richter Scale in the middle of a 9.0 earthquake, and Facebook postings are continuous and contagious. The clergy is outraged, parents are pissed, and the FCC is investigating. But while all that is happening all day all night the politicians running for president from the Republican/Tea Party are shouting out high and low F-You’s to minorities, to the poor, to the elderly, to the unemployed, and they are being haled and hallowed for their hearty F-You attitude. In this neo Victorian, pre Apocalyptic, very hypocritical Nation of ours the raising of the middle finger on public TV is a fearful prelude to the demise of a Christian values, and who knows Socialism will certainly take over. But demeaning, despising, degrading Women, Gays, Poor, Unemployed, Blacks, Muslims, Immigrants and spouting F-Words, F-Bombs without raising your middle finger is wholesome and welcome. F-You is okay as long as you don’t use the hard artillery of the middle finger. But set free the hate in your heart, and the venom of your soul and it is fair game.