demi/moore

During the 10 year period 1989 to 1999 I had the misfortune of passing a kidney stone almost every October of each year. Yep, for some reason I produced kidney stones giving birth to them almost an exact year apart from the previous year.

I also had 10 separate lively experiences each time I rushed through the emergency doors of the hospital. Depending on the severity of my pain I was coherent, incoherent, comatose,belligerent, hostile, possessed but never placid or nice.

And depending on the the personal experiences of the attending nurses or doctors I was either approached with compassion, empathy, deep consternation, lack of pity or passion. And what I mean by the personal experiences of the hospital staff was, whether or not they or an immediate family had ever, ever, ever had experienced a kidney stone.

After my second trip to the hospital (to please dear God) pass my stone I learned that there were three protocols used at the discretion of the emergency room staff. The first protocol was to ask me to drink plenty of water and live through the pain.The second plan permitted a shot of demerol and plenty of water. The third (and thank God once again for chemistry), was to be given a shot of demerol closely monitored for things like my head spinning 360 degrees or green vile being projected from my mouth and when those bodily functions kicked in I was given morphine.

Yep, the pain from passing a kidney stone has been some of the worst I have ever experienced.

If the doctors or nurses ever, ever, ever had the splendid occasion to pass a stone or a very close loved one had,then the first two protocols would be immediately skipped and I would embrace what I lovingly referred to as my Demi/Moore, my cocktail of demerol and morphine. I knew who had experienced what, when those who knew my pain personally, would hold me, patiently wipe my brow, shake their heads solemnly and say I know what you are going through. And then there were those who never, never, never had any personal idea about how fucking awful passing a kidney stone could be. And they would tell oh it will pass!

Finally after a 10 year period of giving birth to kidney stones a rather insightful and intelligent urologist realized that all these baby stones must have had a mother. And with something as awful as a lithotrypsy I killed that mother fucker.

Beginning with the Bush/Cheney administration and their philosophy that the rich should remain rich, that keeping people wealthy could create jobs for everyone who wasn’t wealthy, and the American dream would trickle down, we have seen an imbalance of the have’s vs. the have nots. We currently have witnessed an even wider gap of wealth and have seen a growing divide in this nation of truly understanding both the merits and the consequences of Capitalism. And having said that we are also watching as a segment of our population, never without quality health insurance, never unemployed, never in need of government safety nets, never missing three meals a day, also having no idea what the hue and cry, the pain being expressed is all about. Shaking their heads not in understanding but rather in disgust and disdain.

Like the doctors and nurses who welcomed me with open hands and heart, who wanted me to rid myself of the pain as they had wished to be rid of the pain, we need to find politicians who understand the anguish, the angst the anger so they can help stop the suffering and offer some remedy.

By demanding that those who claim hardships, hunger, hopelessness are nothing more then lazy, socialist, hippy, dirty bums does nothing for the pain then increase the intensity of it. By suggesting that because I am doing well therefore you should be like me, pain free, is total bull shit. By denying their hurt because you have never felt the injury is sad, selfish and short sided.

Why has life become so full of people so full of themselves? When have become so blind as to not see past ourselves. Who are we when we refuse to understand?

To this day when I think of Demi/Moore and the easing of the pain I am comforted. And I so appreciate the doctors and the nurses who didn’t look at me as a problem they did not wish to deal with but tried in vain to find a solution.