carefully taught

“You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught.” from South Pacific, music and lyrics by Rodgers And Hammerstein.

You've got to be taught

To hate and fear,

You've got to be taught

From year to year,

I remember growing up in the 50’s being told very clearly that even though this is the United States of America, not all men, forget women, during that decade were created equal. The lessons came from the newscasts and newscasters of the 50’s, by televangelists, history books read in elementary school, and the mere fact that Jews lived in Squirrel Hill, the blacks lived in Homewood or the Hill District, and the blue collars who worked the steel mills, all of whom were not Jewish lived on the South Side of Pittsburgh.

I remember being warned that once outside of the Squirrel Hill neighborhood, being Jewish for those not Jewish was a bad thing. We were told that the blacks wanted the easy life never trust them at all, that most Polish, Hungarian, and Italians were uneducated, greasy, and only wanted to take your hard earned money or purchases. And any lady over the age of 30 who was not married hated men and wanted to be like men.

Every year around good Friday and Easter we were warned not to listen to those devote Christians when they insist we drank babies blood of the non Jews, had horns of the Devil and that we are Christ killers.

I thought it was only natural to hate and fear anyone not like me.

It's got to be drummed

In your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught.

I remember the fear that ran rampant in the hearts and souls of many a white Pittsburgher during the riots after Martin Luther King’s assassination, wondering when the blacks for no real reason as we were told would burn our homes down, murder our men and rape our women.

I remember being told that there was a Gay bar on the campus of the University of Pittsburgh Campus and that freshmen male students many times were kidnapped, taken there and had to perform oral sex.

I remember watching the sitcoms in the early 50’s and mid 60’s depicting a man as having no emotion, working hard, permitted to have an affair on the side while his “little lady” wore pearls and high heals as she diligently cleaned the house and had dinner ready on the table. It was simply put then men wee the breadwinners and their wives part of their possession.

Like a drum beat it was pounded into our heads.

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,

You've got to be carefully taught.

I remember when it was time to date, the hope was that she would be white, she would be Jewish. The Asians were smart but you never knew what they were thinking behind their ill formed eyes. And anyway a good Asian family hated whites which permitted them in turn to be hated by everyone.

I remember tutoring at a East Hills School before it was an integrated school and thinking what I was doing was a good thing. We were welcomed by most of those we tutored and invited to the end of semester party. I remember being warned by an older student, a member of the neighborhood not to dance with any black girls, as it was not right. I remember ignoring that message and danced with a few of my students. I remember leaving the dance with four of my friends and being chased to our cars as threats of “hunky thinks they are better then us, lets show them who is the real boss”.

I remember my freshman year in college walking with a guy who I thought would be a good friend. We walked into the Book Store and he said to me “when you buy the book just Jew them down for a better price, you Jews are good at that.”

I had never realized how shades and shapes mattered.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught!

I remember raising my own kids and deciding no mater what preconceived notions or fears or bigotry I was raised with or leaned to except, none of that would happen in this new family of mine.

I remember having to better understand that as Gods creations we were all not the same or alike. I remember trying hard to understand that because a black man committed a crime, he was not the poster child for the entire black population. I remember discovering some other Jews in my community who were greedy, selfish, miserly and trying hard to tell anyone who would listen, they do not represent the entire Jewish population.

I remember meeting Gay men and women who were brave enough to have come out and instead of fearing them I was in awe and jealous of their freedom. I remember working with or for very strong females, unmarried and did not see anyone trying to cut off my balls but instead walking taller with a very strong conscience and backbone.

I wonder when is it too late for some?

“You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught.”

I suppose I was a bit naive in thinking that after the Civil Rights Act of 1964,the passing of 19th Amendment, Roe V. Wade law by the Supreme Court, Loving V. Virginia decision, the State of Massachusetts legalizing same sex marriage, Lawrence V. Texas that all bigotries taught by parents, religious zealots, and hateful citizens of this nation were on the wane. I supposed that great strides of equal, not separate but equal, pursuit of happiness, and do unto others as you want others to do unto you were so strong nothing could deter a better, brighter future.

And then 2010 happened and mainly because we were so enlightened to elect our first African-American president, there appeared a rip in the seam of common sense, common ground, and the common good. Once again, all the hate so carefully taught was able to flood the conscience of this great nation of ours. Like a tsunami, it began to destroy any real values and morals replacing them with with muddy deceit, lies and fabrication.

We now hear from men and women who either are running for president or the Senate who would rather alienate and abort any people or discussion regarding rights and freedoms. Once again the color of the landscape of America is scared with my way or no way, right or completely wrong, God or the Devil.

What have we learned...I suppose just how to carefully hate.