Good Lord Why!

Placing his humble face in front of the camera, a slight tilt of his head a lowering of the eyes almost to a squint but open enough to read his teleprompter, Bill O’Reilly revealed on 60 Minutes that about 3:00 in the morning some day of the week, some month of the year he awoke after hearing Jesus Christ speak to him. And thus the Lord spoke unto Bill O’Reilly commanding him to write a book titled “Killing Jesus. And on the seventh day God rested! And on the eighth day in earnest, a common man, a man of the people just like Jesus, Bill O’Reilly became one more hateful, spiteful, fabricator, racist, bigoted homophobic human to have been in earshot of Jesus Christ; to have been granted a conversation, to be yet, one more anointed human. As the Church Lady of SNL used to say, “...isn’t that special.”

Rick Santorum well known for anything hateful, anything anti Gay, anti female especially known for telling a crowd of enthusiastic demigods that rape is a special gift from God and any good Christian woman would understand that,had informed the American public that the motivation for his attempt at running for President of the US, was a conversation from Jesus. Jesus found time perhaps in the middle of the night usually when Jesus talks to philanderers, to encourage Rick Santorum to run, Ricky run for president. Perhaps it was Rick’s anti affordable health care schtick, maybe his I like blacks but they take too much from whites pontification, or even his God did not create homos in his (Gods) image so they deserve less than equal and fair, rants that aroused Jesus’s interest in having a late night early morning conversation. After all Rick what would Jesus do?

Michelle Bachmann, never one to shy away from fiction, preferring her version of the Constitution, History, and the New Testament rather then the truth, stood in front of adoring white folk sans any white robes or head coverings, matches or ropes. Looking first at her hubby, a man of integrity and cure the Gay clinics paid for with Government money, Marcus, and then to the skies and with a well rehearsed tear just dripping, dropping slowly enough for the cameras of FOX News to catch it, pronounced it was a few conversations with Jesus that convinced her to run for Congress and save America. She was all shucks and golly as to why her, but once Jesus spoke to her she knew that bias, bigotry and bogus were never roadblocks for her Jesus to select her as a winner. Doing Gods work she insisted is the only reason to run, forget the kickbacks, the side gifts the prestige of lying and getting away with it, nope, being a Congresswoman was similar to being a Christian slave in the days of Rome. Jesus called and what else could Michelle do?

I am not a Christian, having friends, smart, competent, compassionate, fair minded, caring friends who are and who proudly proclaim Jesus as their Lord and Savior, I am never quite sure who this Jesus is that talks to people like Bill, Rick and Michelle? This Jesus who talks smack with Pat Robertson, Ken Cuccinelli, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin; who insists that saving guns is cooler then saving lives, denying reproductive rights while at the same time denying basic nutrition, education, shelter is okay, saying that poor people are lechers or unemployed lazy can not be the same God of the sane and serious. I am never quite sure why anyone of sound mind and sincere spirituality would buy the bull shit from the likes of heretics using Jesus as a scapegoat for their own mislead human maladies and malaises. Good Lord Why!