Great Liars

At poker night for the Buncher/Braff/Katz family a whole lot of words in both Romanian and Yiddish were tossed around. Usually the evening would start out in English, however once some schnapps and whiskey were poured the English became a kind of trans-English-Yiddish sound and eventually as more alcohol and home made wine was shared and drunk the conversation was pure Romanian. My Dad the only non Romanian would usually pound on the table and yell in clear English, “…when the card game is over you can whisper in front of me, but not until the last poker chip is traded…” My Dad’s speech was a true sign that the poker game was over and the very intense, dark, rich Romanian coffee would be poured. Wafting to the second floor of our home almost reaching out to my sisters and I supposedly asleep in our bedrooms was a combination of burned coffee beans, some Cuban cigar smoke, home made corned beef, Kosher dill pickles and the cheapest smelling reapplication of grandma perfume smelling like rotting lavender and lilacs. This was also a cue for my sisters and I to feign a lack of sleep and a huge pang of hunger. Playing up to the great aunts and female cousins was pure Oscar worthy acting and on a good Saturday night at about 1:00 in the morning at least two corned beef sandwiches half a dozen dill pickles and a lot of pop (soda pop) would be had.

Usually there were two words tossed around one in Yiddish linger (liar) and then for better emphasis in Romanian mincinos  (such a liar). Most of the time during the after Poker feast and while the alcohol was still running roughshod through the veins and brains of my family the liar words were mentioned regarding some people whose sole purpose in life was to just be mean and evil. These individuals received pure excitement for never EVER being honest. These people were considered less then human. These liars created a fabricated story inventing a hoax, they were conmen. Perhaps they understood the truth but these liars were so good at avoiding telling the truth. They were not family, they were not Romanian, they were sinister. These evil doers had to be called a linger or a mincinos and great warning was issued to know they own enemy! Once the conversation focused on these liars, my grandma and her sisters would purse their lips and in unison emit a large pooh/pooh/pooh sound!

While my sisters and I were satiated and glowing in a corned beef over eat my Grandma Braff would ask us to come closer to her. She usually had just applied the most fiery red lipstick to her lips kiss us on the lips (ugh) and say in her you had better listen to me voice the following: “…My grandchildren, my precious (we knew Grandma Braff had a few peach schnapps too many in her when she followed grandchildren with the word precious) you should always be aware that a Great liar is not a Good person…” One more very red lipstick kiss on the the chin followed by: “…A Great liar never hopes the truth will be found, for too much Good would befall anyone but the liar!” My sisters and I were wiry enough to wiggle free from my Grandma Braff, albeit a bit stuffy in the stomach, feigned sleepiness and after kissing everyone goodnight high tailed it to the safety of our bedrooms on the second floor. We were afraid that these Great liars might be waiting for us.

In our house lying was not tolerated. Lies were intentional, created as ploy to just misinform. We were warned that the wrath of the wooden spoon to your tush or worse a public reprimand would ensue. One was physical pain, the other very humiliating. Never be great at lying just be good at being a person we were told. As the debate continues by members of the Tea Party/Republican treason/anarchists regarding the Affordable Care Act (all lying on purpose, all purposely denying any truth, all hoping the truth will never be discovered) I think of my Grandma Braff’s quotes that a Great liar is not a Good person. I hear my Grandma Braff telling us a Great liar hopes the truth will never be found, that too much Good would befall anyone but the liar!