tangerine tree

This morning as I took our dog, Harley for a walk, I noticed one of the women who does cleaning services for a neighbor walk toward my apartment. She was an older woman perhaps in her late 60's carrying a small plastic bag which held what seemed to be rags, a large brush of some sorts, and a smaller bag which I later found out was her lunch.

I have seen this woman a few times and each time we pass one another we nod. She is one of those people I seldom think of or remember until our paths happen to cross.

The home next to my building has many fruited trees planted and this time of year the one with the most fruit ready to harvest is a tangerine tree. The orange round fruit shines bright and with winter beckoning bringing so much drab and grey it is a pleasure to view this huge mound of orange.

I had begun the walking of the dog and she had begun I supposed her journey to the home she was about to clean. Today's morning dog walk was briefer than usual and so Harley and I headed back to the entrance to my apartment quicker than expected. As we headed home I notice the lady who cleans other people's homes standing by the tangerine tree and in her hand was a metal hanger stretched and elongated. The lady could not have been taller then 5'4" and she was standing on her toes reaching rather high with the elongated hangar in her hand trying to pry lose some of the lower hanging tangerines.

She must have assumed that my walking the dog would be a bit longer as when I returned to enter my building she looked at me dropping the hangar and she said I wasn't doing anything.

I said those look like juicy tangerines, and I said last week my partner and I actually got a step stool so we could reach the tangerines and they taste delicious. She looked at me with a curious eye, hesitated a few seconds and said, well I was trying to reach just one of them. She said in a quiet voice, there are so many I thought that no one would miss just one.

I asked if I could help her reach just one and all I received was a short smile and a nod of the head. I picked up her elongated hangar, and being a tall 5'7" also stood on my toes and thank God was able to pry a few tangerines loose.

I handed her the three tangerines and as she reached to take them she took only one. She looked at me and said please take these two, all I need is one for my lunch. But there are so many I added take two more. She reluctantly took all three and then said, I have seen this tree and wondered what will the people who own this tree do with all these extra tangerines, do you think they are even aware of just how many may go to waste if they don't pick them all? She then said to me, I suppose for some people too many is not a problem at all.

She then took the three tangerines placed them in her bag, thanked me for my assistance and walked to her home ready to begin her job.

I then stopped, stared at the tree, the bounty of fruit was huge with so many tangerines ripe and ready to be plucked and picked. And then I thought, it is amazing that in this world there are some who never have to worry about too many, and then there are some who want just one. And then I thought why is that and how fair is that?

It is New Year Eve Day here in LA, a time when many of us are making resolutions, rewinding the events of the past year, and anticipating or wishing for good news for the upcoming year. And a time when many of us have found ourselves to have less then we ever had, fewer choices and chances then we remember, and wanting just one so we can make it to the next day when all we want is one more.

I looked at that tangerine tree with its abundance of fruit and did wonder why is there so much for some, almost too much and why is it so hard to share?

I wish for my friends and family on the eve of a new year that we all have enough, and when we do we find the passion and purpose to share what we have with those we face as friends, foe or family.

What a fine problem if all we had to worry about was too much.

Happy New Year!

some beat

"The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da" (The Beat Goes on by Sonny and Cher)

The drums keep pounding in Iowa as the field of Republican/Tea Party candidates try to out hate, out homophobe, out racist, out deny women reproductive rights, out fight fair and justice for anyone underemployed, unemployed, or just plain poor...they are out to win the black hearts and cold consciences of individuals who mistake Christianity with anything but God like.

The Republican/Tea Party cohort of liars, fiction writers, no truth is a good truth, demonizers, and backstabbers are like moths to a flame in Iowa trying to get the bigoted, bogus Evangelical Christians, the ones who like to speak for God instead of speaking Gods word to vote for them. And to get that vote each and every man and woman running on the Republican/Tea Party slate has vowed to rid this country of any rights or freedoms for anyone Gay, anyone Non Christian, anyone with reason, anyone craving fair opportunity for health insurance, job assurance and equality in economics. The blabbering brigade of Republican/Tea Party primary candidates have found even slimier, slicker, sicker rhetoric to tickle the frenzy of the Evangelical voter who thrives on divide and conquer, we vs. they and my God is the one and only God of this here USA.

Good ole Ronnie Paul, the self proclaimed Libertarian, has cozied up with KKK leaders Nazi worshippers and he prides himself in stating that not having health insurance is your own fault so suffer the consequences. Rick, it is now my turn to be popular Santorum, aside from his usual Bible thumping crusade against gays has informed the group of Evangelical haters that if elected he will undo any and all same sex marriages ever performed by the devil worshipper judges of this nation. Michelle, my bell Bachmann is going around to the nook and crannies of hate in Iowa and saying she can be more prejudiced than any of her opponents and that even though she is a recipient of government health insurance, a pension and her husband receives government money for his clinics will rid this nation of the Satan called Socialism. Mr. no backbone or conscience or sense of anything but himself Mitt Romney is hating anyone or anything that the Evangelicals have on their top 20 hate list. He does not realize that those Christians also hate the Mormons. And the king of hypocrisy, Newt what I did for love Gingrich will revert back to Mccarthyism when it comes to judges who don't believe in his way of hate.

It is one day more for the carnival acts to showcase the ugliest, meanest, hateful, and negative talents they have for an audience of Evangelical Christians who for the man or woman would not even recognize Jesus if he stood before them. There is one more day for venom to spew, truth to be ignored, and God's name taken in vein. 24 more hours to deny freedoms for all, ignore equality for many and refuse to understand the protections of the Constitution for ALL Americans.

The Iowa Caucuses, are like a reality show gone terribly bad. The dialogue is sour full of lies, crap and fiction. The actors are scary and lack any character demonstrating only their talent for vile vitriol. The plot is tiresome, like me because I can hate just like you.

"The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da" (The Beat Goes on by Sonny and Cher)

The beat goes on, sadly and those who tap their toes are sad imitations of good Christians and good Americans. This is the first stop in a long year that has less promise and more fear.

how to serve man

If you sit with a bunch of adults and play the game what was your favorite Twilight Zone, most likely everyone will offer a suggestion and as they salivate over just how scary or strange it was, they will smile and recollect just how wonderful it was watching the television show. From the spooky theme song to spooky Rod Serling standing staring at you the Twilight Zone kept the viewer frozen in his/her seats and we loved every single twist and turn.

Recently, on one of the cable channel's Chiller stations, I was able to catch a few Twilight Zone episodes I had either forgotten about or never ever had seen. There was one that caught my attention and one that seemed to resonate too well with me.

It was a clever episode titled to "To Serve People." It was simple in premise. Alien creatures landed on Earth and at first the people of Earth were a bit weary, after all what did these creatures want with earthlings? But the captain of the spaceship met with the people of Earth and quickly demonstrated to the earthlings, all the wondrous, marvelous, and special things he and his fellow aliens could provide all the people of the Earth. The captain made promises, pledges, and speeches explaining that he was one of us, but he could provide all of us with the things we thought we desired because he had the power to do so. His simple message to the earthlings was trust me, trust me and I can make all your dreams come true.

People became delirious with delight and trust the captain, they did. He told his new flock of followers that life on Earth was great due to all he could provide, but just for the hell of it the earthlings could also ride the alien spaceship, visit his planet and really be treated like kings and queens. And so all those who liked the lies, liked the promises, liked the subject without ever looking into the detail bought passage for the trip into space.

The alien captain had a book a kind of resource book, he carried with him every time he spoke to a crowd and by mistake being in a hurry to attend the next rally he left the book behind. Because not all earthlings were gullible and guilty of living off of promises and prose, a woman researcher decided to take the book and see if she could translate the alien language and find out if all the promise and prose was real.

The alien captain had told the earthlings that the book was called To Serve Man and he and his fellow aliens were doing just that by demonstrating how if all earthlings just followed his lead, the way forward would be perfect. Trust must be blind he surmised.

The earthlings were blinded by promise and lined up in the hundreds to board the spacecraft and visit the alien planet. Suddenly the female researcher deciphered the special book and much to her horror the real title of the book To Serve Man, translated into How To Serve Man. It seemed that all the promise and prose, the push toward blind allegiance resulted in nothing more than the gullible, those who wanted easy answers, meant no more than being recipe items for someone to eat and destroy. The earthlings were like cattle led to slaughter.

And as we watch the new Twilight Zone episode of 2011 titled the Republican Primary we also get to view aliens making all kinds of promises and prose as to how they will make America better, by denying rights to the LGBT community, dismantling social security, ending all restrictions on pollution and polluters, having the poor stay poor and stopping unemployment checks, permitting those who can't afford health insurance to, well suffer and die, remove the divide between church and state, and hate anyone who does not pray, work, look or think like a true American (as defined by the aliens).

All the Republican primary candidates say they are running To Serve Man. They have a plan or is it a recipe to shape America to look or is it to be cooked the way they wish, leaving out minorities, the poor, the union worker, the elderly, the Gay. They have a following of people who look no further than the hate, bigotry, and bias of the Republican primary candidates and as long as it is someone else who is the bad guy, the minions/lemmings permit the aliens to run roughshod.

In the end of the original Twilight Zone episode the aliens were found to be nothing more than phony. It was too late for those earthlings who boarded the spacecraft the ones who let the snake oil salesmen sell them baloney. The others still standing in line were saved by the bell not from their own intelligence but from the action of others who wanted more than promise and prose.

Wonder if, by the time the Republican primary is over how many people will not be saved and board that spacecraft to the planet Crazy/Hate/Bigot Ville? Wonder how many people will be on the menu of How To Serve Man?

the bruno's

In the early 1950's Christmas was a rather social occasion for our family. My dad was a Sergeant with the Pittsburgh Police and one of at least 11 men on the force who among other things happened to be Jewish. In Pittsburgh, much like the entire country, during the early 1950's Christmas was considered a national holiday. We had creches in public schools, ornate Christmas pageants in public schools, and there was never any problem with everyone wishing you a Merry Christmas considering everyone thought that this was after all a Christian nation love it or leave it!

In the 1950's Christmas actually started about three weeks before the 25th of December and the holidays of Halloween and Thanksgiving held their own. My dad was a good guy and most of the policemen he worked with held him in high esteem. My dad was a Jew, but since he was a good guy the Jew part could be overlooked and my dad and his family got invited to a slew of Christmas parties, dinners and get-togethers. Many invitations were from one friend to another and some were vehicles in which some Christian family tried in vein to convince my dad to convert. Nonetheless we managed in a span of about 5 years to enjoy an Italian, Polish, Hungarian, Irish, and German version of Christmas cheer and Christmas food. It was a most wonderful time in my life and a chance to really learn about family traditions.

We saw a cadre of Nativity scenes, some ornate made from ivory to jade (mostly Jesus, Mary and Joseph were white), we helped decorate 3 foot 4 foot 5 foot trees (never placing the angel on the trees unless we considered converting), and we tasted some recipes brought over to this country from generations of relatives who still yearned for the old country. We lived Christmas and my sisters and I loved every moment of it.

We received about 100 Christmas cards, displaying them on the mantel, the railing leading to the second floor and on every empty living room table top. My dad received 5 pound boxes of chocolate with almost a million different toppings ( it seemed like a million), and he was gifted enough booze to keep a dozen bars in stock.

We were Jewish but in the 1950's we enjoyed the Christmas season like the best of the Christians in this country. And my memories of that period of my life have always shone bright regarding Christmas, until now.

It seemed back in the 1950's I was more of an observer of everything Christmas, but I just returned home from a 5 day excursion with the love of my life Joe, as we spent Christmas with his family in Buffalo and I came home in LA as a full time participant.

Rose and John Bruno raised four wonderful kids, Francine, Ginny, Lisa and Joe. And this Christmas time (as has been the case for Joe's 44 years) the holiday is spent eating, laughing, loving and learning sharing the frailties, fancies, problems promise, insecurities sincerity's, singularities and hope that make each and every Bruno Christmas special.

And here I was a part of this family, no longer just an observer, but a participant, in a Christmas that has provided me with the warmest, most delightful, and exceptional memories ever. I saw the real purpose of Christmas, experienced its magic and discovered whom ever you call your family love them,love them, love them. I was in the middle of the most sincere Christmas card and carol and had the best time of my life. This was a true Christmas.

I used to rely on my 1950's version of Christmas to help me with this holiday season. But now I have something more relevant to ponder and wonder over. My Christmas with the Bruno's in Buffalo is a moment that now becomes a sweet memory. Tis the season!

the sum of us

This is the first night of Chanukah for some, December 25 some will welcome the birth of Jesus and on the 21st of December all of us will be witness to the winters solstice. For some this is a season of miracles, for some just a season of mere survival, and for some a reason to take notice at what we have, what others may be missing, and the hope necessary for goodness and peace to prevail for all of us.

It is month of wanting, wishing and wonderment. For many it is time to...

CELEBRATE

For some... we wait for a joyful noise, a celebration heralding a savior...we wait for the light to glow, warming our homes for eight days...we wait for a solstice reminding us that soon the Earth will be reborn once again.

For some... it is serious, a time to celebrate a birth defining the strength of man..a miracle of oil which saw the tyrant succumb to those with faith... the fact that humans can be great even in the most dire of circumstances...for some it is the knowledge that for now we quietly endure the shortest of days as if to hibernate, rest, recount until the sun shines at its peak once again.

For some...there are tasks and chores duty and diligence...there are memories to be made, miracles to be performed... emotions, some spontaneous, some serendipitous, some succinct to share...there are days ahead in which we wish, wonder, and want.

For some this is Christmas... Chanukah...Winters Solstice...it is as big as our imaginations, as intimate as our souls, and as inviting as we permit our lives to interact and involve those around us...it is a time to say thank you for being a part of my life.

For some it is time to say Merry Christmas...Happy Chanukah...Peaceful Solstice.

For some it is time to share a love...

We hope you CELEBRATE, however large or small, and find hope, health and happiness!

gb/11

lump of coal

After House Republicans over the weekend walked away from a tentative agreement to extend the payroll tax cut, Congress found itself locked in on a staring contest on Monday -- to see who would blink first.

And while that blinking first game is played, those of us who live paycheck to paycheck who count on every dollar of that paycheck, who are endlessly looking for more work are blinking with angst and anxiety. While the political posturing takes place by politicians who can pay their mortgages, have a job, enjoy beneficial health insurance, plan on lots of presents under the tree, the many of millions not as well off worry and wonder just how unimportant are we.

The plan as perceived by the Republican lawmakers is to fund the payroll tax cuts for an entire year, sounds sensible except to do so they require more cuts from any and all social services. (So cut back funding for money to the elderly, disabled, schools, health care etc, etc to pay for this and in doing so we pay Peter as we rob Paul.) The Republicans say this 2 month extension will stop the momentum by job creators who create jobs, what jobs? The Republicans say tax cuts for the wealthy are necessary to stimulate jobs, what jobs? The Republicans somehow seem to ignore the poor, the middle class, the underemployed, and the unemployed acting suddenly frugal when most people need help the most.

And as politics are played lives of the average American continue to be tortured. As the cocky, arrogant, reality removed politicians make a line in the sand the average American waits hoping even in the next two months they can pay their mortgage, their rent, their health insurance, and their utilities. And all of this so the one goal stated clearly and repeated over and over again by the Republicans, “to make Obama a one term president”, can come to fruition.

If we accept the one year arrangement for a payroll tax deduction, we then end up paying more to live, eat, stay healthy and retire. If we accept the premise that a two month only extension is bad for job creators, we once again wait for the next reason why those who can create jobs don’t. As we watch as this blinking game continues we also witness erosion in the belief that those we elect to office in this democracy of ours are working for us rather than them being as evil minded and selfish as any Fascist or Third World dictator.

The Democrats will cave in and leap at the lap of the Republicans for fear that the ignorant and uneducated will think the Dems love a good deficit. Those uneducated and ignorant will not take time to realize any cut backs in any social spending filters down to them. The Republicans will shout from the highest mount we are good for America and as they do so, less jobs will be created, and the so called job creators will not create new jobs, the lobby money from the wealthy will find its way into the Republican coffers and the gap between rich and poor will widen.

It is a matter of trying to equalize our lives in this country. It is a matter of caring that even a $100 more a month in a pay check is helpful. It is a matter of moving away from the partisanship of politics to the human side of governing. It is a matter of being honest as to why you are against the majority of Americans who live pay check to pay check and why you seem to enjoy keeping the rich rich. It is not about a one term president so you can keep us from them we from they.

Talk about a lump of coal in your stockings!

pissed off pie

My mother had a first cousin, who, while my sisters and I were young, called Aunt Hannah. Aunt Hannah was a woman who had been married twice. She divorced her first husband, while having an affair with her soon to be second husband. This was the 1950’s and to even admit you were having an affair, then leave one husband for the second, and brag about how bad the first husband was as a husband was a taboo that brought shudders and many a pooh-pooh-pooh to the elderly women within my family.

Because my mother had a sister named Hannah and we also called her Aunt Hannah the Hannah on her second marriage was always referred to with three names, her maiden, first marriage and her current marriage- Hannah Katz-Turkle-Marcus.

Aunt Hannah Katz-Turkle-Marcus was not a shy person nor stood back from anyone rolling their eyes, or whispering about her marriages or suggesting it must have been her attitude that broke up the first marriage. When in the company of any rumor, gossip or tall story being shared about her, Hannah would interrupt and say “if your kaka (our families word for shit) smelled any less lousy then mine and you didn’t hide your secrets instead of being honest, I would let you finish putting me down, but your kaka smells as sour as mine and you are drowning in secrets, so shut up!

It did shut up the gossip until Hannah left the room and then the gossip continued but with more eye rolls and hand gestures and hushed words.

Hannah Katz-Turkle-Marcus was the rebel rouser within our family and she seemed to relish the fact that her actions might cause some consternation. I remember Hannah-Katz-Turkle-Marcus approaching me during my wedding reception. When she caught anyone in a one to one situation two things went through your mind, damn how much will she insult me and be crude or I wish I had a tape recorder because I can only imagine what she is going to say.

Being it was MY wedding reception and she had approved of my new wife, I was sure this one on one was only going be filled with a Mazol Tov and a kiss. But I was wrong. Aunt Hannah-Katz-Turkle-Marcus stood in front of me, placed her long thin arm on my shoulder, pulled me in closer (she was losing her hearing but always claimed people stood too far apart when they spoke), dug her fingers into my shoulder and said. “Sometimes you get stuck in a pissed off pie and are deep, deep in the recess of that pissed of pie so deep you no longer realize what is pissing you off. When that happens you need to take a big step away from that pie, use all your might to do so, and remove yourself so you can breathe fresh air. Sometimes, Gerry, being mired in what pisses you off takes away the joy in realizing just how pissed off you are.

She continued. I was with my first husband and actually the day we said I do I was pissed off at him, but thought things would change. They didn’t Gerry, she said, instead they grew worse. But until I could pull myself away from that pissed off pie I baked I had no idea how bad it really was and how to make it better. At this point she dug her nails a little deeper into what seemed to be my shoulder bone, moved closer to my face, so close I also knew she had been drinking lots of whiskey, and said, make sure nothing about this marriage pisses you off, and if it doesn’t celebrate. But if anything pisses you off when you start your marriage, step away from it or it will become like white noise it will sound deafening and you won’t hear what is really happening in your life and you will never be able to make it better. She then leaned in and kissed me on the lips. In those days in my family someone would kiss you on the lips as a blessing as if they got permission from God.

For anyone, and I hope it is a lot of anyones who has noticed, I have gone blog-less for a few weeks. It was an action I was cognizant in making come to fruition and an action I decided to attempt almost as a cleansing. I realized I had found myself in a pissed off pie and I was deep in its mire and muck. I grew anxious with any news about the Republican primary candidates wondering how come I am the only one worried about their lack of ethics, morals or values. I grew angry as people without health care, homes, inadequate unemployment benefits were still ill, homeless and poor and the politicians of both parties still debated the issue. I grew sarcastic and cynical as the rich remained rich never being asked to pay their fair share and the poor became scapegoats by the rich as if they wanted to be poor on purpose.

I was pissed off, and so pissed off I saw no way out no way to make it better. So I decided to stop blogging and pointing out what I saw as the obvious but millions of Americans did not. I sat back in that pissed off pie and pouted.

I pulled myself out of that pissed off pie a bit refreshed but refreshed with a sense that talking about the bad, the hypocrisy, the selfish and self serving needs to be done to try my best to make it better. I beleive the more of us who talk who are pissed off the more we can motivate and create change and consensus.

So Aunt Hannah-Katz-Turkle-Marcus I have stepped back from the pissed off pie realizing what DOES piss me off. I do have a joy, not in being pissed off, but in hoping to find others who are pissed off just enough to work together snd bake a whole new no reason to be pissed off pie.

Rest in Peace Aunt Hannah-Katz-Turkle-Marcus!

one more...

One more debate. One more time for the candidates on the right to insist what is wrong with this country to lay blame, to accuse, to scapegoat to appease a mass of people who gloat in God’s graces but thrive with the devil’s deeds.

One more debate and everyone trying to be more mean, more belligerent, more anti anything with the word social, education fair equal or just related to it. More time declaring how great their God is but doing everything in his/her power to eliminate the glory of God if you are Gay, Muslim, foreign born, a woman who dare have an opinion, disabled or old.

One more debate and now the scratching of the eyes moves beyond the opposite party but digs deeper into how much adultery is cool, how Christian a Christian really is, how much money buys you power, how hip is hypocrisy, and whose flip flop is less of a lie.

One more debate and all those running for the highest office in this land of the free, at least free for the moment, all receive pay checks, all have at least 6 figure incomes, have glorious medical insurance, own their homes. And yet they demand that the unemployed are not working because they are lazy, that minimum wage will run us into ruin, if you can’t pay for a fair insurance policy then find a better job, and that you are a dead beat if you want to depend on the Government except on issues of marriage rights, reproductive rights, freedom of religion.

One more debate and the smell of blood oozing from the wounds of hate is rampant for the bigots, ignorant, uneducated who find bigotry, racism, homophobia elixirs, almost manna from some malevolent heaven. One more debate and the feeding frenzy of how much can you hate, how often can you deny, how many times will you recite separate but equal, will find anyone who does not think like you an enemy.

One more debate and instead of consensus, divide is relished. Instead of common ground, chaos is king. Instead of how can we, we will never is recited. One more debate and we seem to move further away from a unified America and seem to turn into my way or the highway.

It may be rhetoric, a scripted reality show but the venom and vitriol is like a virus and there seems to be little to no vaccination or serum to stop the spread. It may be a a game all about gamesmanship but the hate lingers long, and the evil incited is infectious.

One more debate and we watch spiteful men and women cajoled by self righteous self identified Christians who live anything but a Christian life, represent a time in American history that when first read would be assumed to be fiction. Is it the monster who is scary or the maker of the monster who is scarier?

One more debate...

no character, but a character

A sense of character for some reason in the minds of those who identify as Republican core voters and as social conservatives, it is not so much the character of a person running for president that counts, rather how much that character can hate aloud, spew venom, and exclude more people then he or she can include. Those who add that not only are they social conservative core Republican voters but Christian/Family values conservatives seem to pay less heed to the character of the candidate but become enthusiastic and energetic if that character promotes scapegoating, dismissing, victimizing, and insulting anyone or anything that begs a question of difference.

For some reason those who proclaim they "are closer to God then thee", who know exactly God's intentions and act solely on them, who believe that God was the real general for the Revolutionary War somehow seem to back men and women with less character but prefer characters who can hate, demonstrate bias and bigotry, ignore the truth for its inconvenience and support men/women who luxuriate in hypocrisy. And for some reason those core Republican/Social/Religious/Family Values First Americans love to talk about the character of people but would rather support characters who use lies as truth, innuendo as fact and division as a means to make America great.

I am confused as to how or why men and women who publicly call for some citizens of this nation to be separate but equal, second class citizens, rant about God first and country second, who have been caught in lies only to try and backtrack the reason for their lies, who say they are religious but break many of the Ten Commandments are still high on the list to receive the nomination for the Republican/Tea Party primary for president? I am curious as to why it now longer matters about character but certainly matters more about just how much hate, venom and vitriol the future possible and future president can demonstrate to prove his/her qualifications for the job?

Wherever, whenever or however character to run for president stopped being a priority is a debate for the historians. But the fact that those running for the office of president from the Republican/Tea Party are more and more cartoon like characters is real. They climb to the top as if they are the pick of the month, they hate loudly for the core voters but then actually are found out by the media, the main stream and fall to the bottom of the litter. They blame someone else for their mistakes, miscues, meanderings, mishaps and begin the rise to the top again making sure to never own their faults.

Now we have Newt. He glows in the vapid disgust from anyone with a conscience, he grows in ego from the majority of those who refuse to acknowledge a mere beating of his heart, he galvanizes the haters who use God as their reason to hate and becomes a star.

His character is a sham, but somehow he is number one. The less he demonstrates character and instead becomes a character he rises in popularity. This country will be a sad place if he is elected as president, but this country will be a sadder place knowing that it was people who have no character who elected him.

too fat to fail

Speaking in Le Mars, Iowa on Monday, Rick Santorum promised to significantly reduce federal funding for food stamps, arguing that the nation’s increasing obesity rates render the program unnecessary:(msnbc.com)

Rick Santorum, still running for the nomination of president from the Republican/Tea Party, proudly states he is a champion of the child. He believes that no matter the circumstance of the mother, if she is raped by a stranger, raped by her brother, uncle, father, if HER life is at risk while pregnant...no matter the silly reason for becoming pregnant or the consequences of carrying the baby full term... Mr. Santorum doing God’s work on Earth, demands the baby be born and to hell with the mother and having the baby thrive outside of the womb.

Mr. (God has asked me to speak for him, thus my religious shit does not stink) Santorum, who believes, no insists he knows what is better for a woman and her body, is all about bringing a fetus to full term. Yet with his newest harangue, Mr. Santorum cares very little on how you might sustain that life via feeding the baby or paying for the food he/she eats. So being nothing more than stupid, Mr. Santorum argues that if there is obesity then that must mean people are eating too well. And if people are eating too well then they certainly should be able to afford all that excess food, which of course must be purchased by Government money aka food stamps.

Living in some religious ivory tower, Mr. Santorum who just hates poor people, has made some warped connection that obesity equates to too much food. His small brain, overly filled with religious bigotry and bias, has no capacity or capability to reason that crappy cheap food, the kind that many poor people CAN afford, is full of calories and fat all of which contribute to obesity. Mr. Santorum doesn’t recognize the science behind nutrition (nutrition along with the dinosaurs were never mentioned in the Bible).

There are a slew of God’s creations, (the God Santorum swears told him to run for office, and fought with Washington during the Revolutionary War) Mr. Santorum has little stomach to tolerate. Mr. Santorum knows that his Jesus, hates the poor, the minority, the Gay, only likes the Jews because if you get all of them to Israel then God can stage his second coming, and that all Santorum is doing is stating the obvious and is a good Catholic in doing the dirty work.

So, if Rick Santorum is the president of the US one of his first acts will be to cut the Food Stamp program and make those fatties thin or maybe just have them die of malnutrition. (Even less Government money to waste on someone’s life).

Now, I know that Santorum’s poll numbers are low, but in the reality show called the Republican/Tea Party primary race, many a loser with low poll numbers has risen to the top. Apparently for the hard core idiot,imbecile identifying as the Republican/Tea Party core, being too dumb, too bigoted, too owned by lobbyists, too racist, too homophobic is a good thing and eventually you become popular.

Proudly in America no matter how inadequate, shallow, self serving or selfish you are you can run for president. Sadly for America in the 2011 primary race the Republican/Tea Party has showcased at least a dozen people who do nothing but tarnish the American spirit, and demonstrate the worst this country can offer.

Obesity is a growing problem, and like many growing problems which require discussion, communication, resolve, Mr. Santorum would rather place blame, state innuendo and find fiction as to why the problem exists. He would rather seek a scapegoat, vilify the victim or shout Biblical quotes to justify his own hatred.

And this man is still getting enough attention and for some is still considered someone to be president. What has happened to this country of ours?

dear gov perry

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.
As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.
Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again...Governor Rick Perry (R) of Texas and still on the hunt to become president of the United States a country from which he still might consider having the state of Texas secede.

Dear Mr. Gov. I am not a Christian, but have a whole bunch of good friends who are. I am not one to pronounce the teachings of Christ, but many of my friends can and have. I have not been sitting in many Christian pews, but some of my friends and their families have, and none of them to the person seem to recognize, praise or worship Jesus in the same bizarre, mangled, maligned and miserable fashion as you. All of them cringe when you spew blasphemy, bull shit based on nothing but a contorted bias and bigotry not taught to you by Jesus but by ministers, pastors and hate mongers who instead of looking at the beauty of God relate to him as evil as the devil.

Dear Gov, and I repeat myself as it seems your ability to grasp anything new is limited, you are an embarrassment to any Christian who actually understands who and what Jesus stood for. You are an empty pathetic man who thinks that fear, scapegoating, vile and venomous vitriol is why Jesus died on the cross. I know this because the many Christian friends in my life, are tolerant, peaceful, caring and act in a way not to embarrass people of the Christian faith.

Now I know, dear Gov, that you are appealing to a very uneducated and ignorant group of people who have been described as the GOP base. You are appealing to the same crowd of people whose ancestors were told by their ministers and pastors that giving the colored man a vote, interracial marriage, women any form of suffrage was the not the intent of Jesus when he discovered America.You are appealing to a group of people who love to blame, act as victims and ridicule every and anything they don’t understand. You are appealing to a group of people who think the New Testament and the Constitution are the same document.

Dear Gov, you have said some stupid things in your hurry to try and rush to the top of the reality show called the Republican/Tea Bag primary of 2011. Some yes person or people filled your small brain with delusions of grandeur that someone as stupid as you could be president of this nation. The amazing thing about America is you are actually running and were actually taken seriously, the most abysmal thing about this country is that any ignoramus, unaware of how real democracy works, or why we even have a Constitution, can run for office. Facts mean little to you and you think, just like your sorority sister Michelle Bachmann, talking out of your ass makes people think better about you. Scare ‘em like the days before the Civil War, misinform them like the snake oil salesmen who said they were sent by God, lie to them because no where in your heart lies a seed of truth.

We have a separation between church and state Gov, and in this nation you are free to pray to your God in your home or the religious place of choice (that is unless you are Muslim and you and your God fearing Christians are trying their hardest to burn those mosques down). The same Constitution that permits no national religion, no government sponsored religion also demands equality for all of its citizens and that includes the ability to serve in the military.

I among other things Gov am not a Christian but I think it wonderful for those who are to say Merry Christmas, decorate a Christmas tree, send Christmas cards sing Christmas carols in their homes churches, have it blurted throughout malls and radio stations even in my home if they wish, but not in my public schools because Christianity believe it or not is not the religion of America.

Now we know your popularity has diminished, mainly because those with any intelligence looked past your bias and bigotry and saw just how empty you were as a politician. But people like you, losers, love to lash out and you love to try and take down anyone with you as you rot in the cesspool of your own inadequate life.

I am a Gay man, a Jew, an American and I have read my Constitution, and understand just how beautiful this country can be. You are everything that America does not stand for. But because this is America we tolerate you and because of the Constitution you have the right to free speech.

But Gov, why drag down the good name of real Christians, real Americans and shout and stammer the hate you love to share? Go away Gov, please for the good of this country just go away!

I like the religion that President Obama practices and if I were Christian I would follow the same God he believes in.

silence equals death

As she rolled her eyes, pushed away, looked like a dear in headlights, Michelle Bachmann was told by a little boy whose mother among other things happens to be Gay, “...my mother doesn’t need to be fixed...” And Michelle Bachmann is still on the road running for President of the U.S. wanting to represent the Republican/Tea Party. No commentary, no response, no nothin’ except a rolling of the eyes a coiling away from the kid and a step back into the bigotry based on nothing but hate and ignorance.

Rick Santorum speaking at a college in Iowa was asked about his anti Gay rhetoric. Visibly shocked and angry Mr. Santorum said if we permit same sex marriage in this country then we would also have to teach that homosexual couples are equal to heterosexual couples. Imagine in the U.S. equality for all, how undemocratic, equality how unAmerican. Imagine this man is still running for President wanting to represent the Republican/Tea Party.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich expounded upon his views on same-sex marriage in September, calling it a “temporary aberration” that will one day go away because it defies convention. When asked about his own form of defying convention by cheating on two wives both ill Mr. (three times is a charm) Gingrich said it was his call to duty that made him divorce and had he not been doing Americas work he would have handled his adultery much better. And this man who thinks same sex marriage is a temporary aberration and infidelity and adultery main stream behavior is not only running for President of the U.S. representing the Republican/Tea Party but in the lead.

State Senator Rep. Phillip Hinkle (R.-IN) was busted looking for gay sex with a young man at a hotel. Shockingly Hinkle was openly anti-gay and opposed Gay marriage. Shockingly, really! Easy target, those damn Gays, the louder you yell the more you think you have convinced those around you that you actually believe in the bull shit you spew. Yet one more Republican/Tea Party politician who finds no difficulty in espousing the Gays as the evil while thinking he/she is a good Christian. Yet one more immoral character charading as a person of God while doing the devils deeds.

So, its the Gays...yep if you need to call upon anyone to make you feel closer to God, make you feel more American, make you feel warm and cozy in your own bigotry, bias and bogus use the Gays. It may have been the blacks but then somehow they got the vote, it may have been the illegals but we need them to do work most Americans would never think of, it may have been the women, but some of them are actually our wives and mothers, it may be the poor but without them we wouldn’t feel rich, so blame the Gays.

I always wonder how really brave people are when that bravery is only based on having a scapegoat. I wonder how much in God’s image those people are when it is always one of Gods creation they are stepping on. I wonder how human those people are when all they can do is insist on inhuman treatment of others. And I wonder how normal, smart, sensitive people whose political leaning is as a Republican can tolerate the cadre of cowards who seem to tarnish anything Republican.

Where are the millions (who know Michelle, Rick, Newt and the many others are homophobes bigots, idiots) telling them to shut up ALREADY. Where?

Shaking your head silently does nothing to stop the hate. A very old and wise statement from the Gay Movement was Silence equals death. Sure as hell does.

scary monsters

In almost every creepy, spooky horror movie the creatures are either created by some mad scientist, some rogue self proclaimed savior of the world, or the remnants of a tormented bullied, confused childhood. They either try to reclaim their nasty childhood from perceived villains, they try to manifest more power than those who created them or they feed off of the negative energy in which they find themselves.

As the viewer we often times hear ourselves saying look what you have done, now are you happy, supplying evil with evil intent only leads to monsters, or didn’t you think this would happen!

Many times the creator of the monsters think they have done something with altruistic intent, only to find that altruistic is confused with ignorance or idiocy in their warped minds. There are double standards abound as the scientist or mad men say that what I am doing is evil but what you have done to me is more evil. Or the wrong I am doing by creating this monster justifies the wrong you have done to me.

Many times as the viewer, we watch the horror movie knowing that in the end the monster will die but often times in this very non creative culture in which we live, the monster is saved so it can cause havoc in parts two or three.

Within the cadre of candidates running for the opportunity to represent the Republican/Tea parties are people who if really scrutinized as to the type of platforms, biases, and bigotry they spew are like monsters we find in the movies, and created by people who seem to thrive on hypocrisy, hate, and small mindedness. Gingrich, Romney, Perry, Bachmann, Paul would wield little to no power if in fact those who have created them did not feed negative energy to this group of people who would rather divide then find consensus, who use religion as weapon rather than peace, and who flip flop depending on whose bigotry and bias they are embracing.

Whether its encouraging 13 year olds to work so they buy ice cream…explaining that poor people want to be poor because it is easier... placing an electrical fence on the Mexican boarder… telling Gays if you want to marry then marry a straight person… deciding a government at any size is too big, except if you are a woman… permitting the market to act as God and deny or accept your request for health insurance… refuse to buy into global warming because your lobbyists will not contribute to your campaign… telling kids that when they are 21 they can vote, or insisting the last 10 years of tax cuts for the wealthy have done anything but keep the rich richer…the creatures running for president of this nation only become scary because of those who created them and provide them with life.

Many times as we watch apocalypse movies, a comet shattering the Earth, aliens decimating the Earth, zombies running roughshod, we immediately realize that what is scarier then earthquakes, buildings collapsing or tsunami’s is the inhuman, selfish, angry behavior of humans to humans. Many times as we watch those movies we sometimes think it would have been easier to have perished with the first comet or the first laser blast or the first flood then watch insane men and women treating their fellow neighbors as animals and less then. Many times we watch as most selfish of intentions become the bet human emotion these lost souls can offer.

The presidential campaign for the nomination from the Republican/Tea parties is scary. Instead of reaching for a common denominator it seems that the people running for office are digging deeper and deeper for the ignorant, the angry, and the isolationist. It seems these men and women have been created in the image of those who want no compromise, no communication no consideration of anyone who is not 100% in their own mold. it seems that these monsters reflect and America without democracy a constitution, freedom and equality for all.

It seems counter-intuitive to be afraid of the creators of the monsters as we seem to think it is the monsters who will do the damage. But in this country the monsters are only strong because of the people who with malice, a malignant mind set, and mean spirit make them survive.

I am afraid of the Republican/Tea Party candidates but I am terrified of the infested, infected and insidious core of Republican/Tea Party primary voters. Be afraid, be very afraid.

demi/moore

During the 10 year period 1989 to 1999 I had the misfortune of passing a kidney stone almost every October of each year. Yep, for some reason I produced kidney stones giving birth to them almost an exact year apart from the previous year.

I also had 10 separate lively experiences each time I rushed through the emergency doors of the hospital. Depending on the severity of my pain I was coherent, incoherent, comatose,belligerent, hostile, possessed but never placid or nice.

And depending on the the personal experiences of the attending nurses or doctors I was either approached with compassion, empathy, deep consternation, lack of pity or passion. And what I mean by the personal experiences of the hospital staff was, whether or not they or an immediate family had ever, ever, ever had experienced a kidney stone.

After my second trip to the hospital (to please dear God) pass my stone I learned that there were three protocols used at the discretion of the emergency room staff. The first protocol was to ask me to drink plenty of water and live through the pain.The second plan permitted a shot of demerol and plenty of water. The third (and thank God once again for chemistry), was to be given a shot of demerol closely monitored for things like my head spinning 360 degrees or green vile being projected from my mouth and when those bodily functions kicked in I was given morphine.

Yep, the pain from passing a kidney stone has been some of the worst I have ever experienced.

If the doctors or nurses ever, ever, ever had the splendid occasion to pass a stone or a very close loved one had,then the first two protocols would be immediately skipped and I would embrace what I lovingly referred to as my Demi/Moore, my cocktail of demerol and morphine. I knew who had experienced what, when those who knew my pain personally, would hold me, patiently wipe my brow, shake their heads solemnly and say I know what you are going through. And then there were those who never, never, never had any personal idea about how fucking awful passing a kidney stone could be. And they would tell oh it will pass!

Finally after a 10 year period of giving birth to kidney stones a rather insightful and intelligent urologist realized that all these baby stones must have had a mother. And with something as awful as a lithotrypsy I killed that mother fucker.

Beginning with the Bush/Cheney administration and their philosophy that the rich should remain rich, that keeping people wealthy could create jobs for everyone who wasn’t wealthy, and the American dream would trickle down, we have seen an imbalance of the have’s vs. the have nots. We currently have witnessed an even wider gap of wealth and have seen a growing divide in this nation of truly understanding both the merits and the consequences of Capitalism. And having said that we are also watching as a segment of our population, never without quality health insurance, never unemployed, never in need of government safety nets, never missing three meals a day, also having no idea what the hue and cry, the pain being expressed is all about. Shaking their heads not in understanding but rather in disgust and disdain.

Like the doctors and nurses who welcomed me with open hands and heart, who wanted me to rid myself of the pain as they had wished to be rid of the pain, we need to find politicians who understand the anguish, the angst the anger so they can help stop the suffering and offer some remedy.

By demanding that those who claim hardships, hunger, hopelessness are nothing more then lazy, socialist, hippy, dirty bums does nothing for the pain then increase the intensity of it. By suggesting that because I am doing well therefore you should be like me, pain free, is total bull shit. By denying their hurt because you have never felt the injury is sad, selfish and short sided.

Why has life become so full of people so full of themselves? When have become so blind as to not see past ourselves. Who are we when we refuse to understand?

To this day when I think of Demi/Moore and the easing of the pain I am comforted. And I so appreciate the doctors and the nurses who didn’t look at me as a problem they did not wish to deal with but tried in vain to find a solution.

how do you feel

When I came out to my two older sisters (coming out just seems so demeaning anymore, coming out from what?) some 25 years ago, there was very little hoopla or discern. However, there was one question both of my older sisters wanted to ask, but neither knew how to express.

The strange thing was that when I had announced to my sisters, each separately from one another, that among other attributes in my life I was now recognizing that I was Gay, openly expressing my acceptance of it, they both had said to me, so how are you feeling? At first, the how was I feeling question made sense. I assumed they were asking me how was I feeling emotionally, or how was I feeling now that I had shared a secret of my life. When the first sister I told, Maxine asked me that question I said great. I said Maxine I am feeling great, how are you feeling? I was asking the how are you feeling question to her in regards to how are you feeling now that I have told you a deep dark secret I was so afraid of sharing.

Maxine said in all earnest, but its your health I am worried about. This bit of repartee went on for about three minutes. She asked me and I asked her how are you feeling how am I feeling it was like watching an exciting tennis match with no one hitting the ball fowl. Then it dawned on me that the how was I feeling question had nothing to do with my mental health, but it was more of an indirect direct question as to how was my physical health.

Maxine, I said, now holding her hand. Why are you asking me about my physical health when I am proclaiming my independence from the closet and sounding proud to be admitting one more fact about my life. Maxine looked at me and said but if you are Gay doesn’t that mean, she paused looked away from me, doesn’t that mean and then she stopped.

Sometimes like a lightening bolt out of nowhere we all have a recognition of nonsense making some sense. As my sister dropped her eyes from my eyes as she lowered her voice as if she was expressing her condolences for some awful moment in my life, I realized my sister Maxine, who knew nothing about my sex life when I was dating or married or now as newly outed Gay man, was worried as a Gay man I must surely have AIDS.

Rumor runs rampant in my family and feelings get hurt very quickly if one sibling knows something and the rest do not. (I always have to manage to speed dial all of my siblings when wishing them a happy holiday for fear of one of saying have you heard from your brother). So after telling Maxine my news, I quickly drove the car and went to my second sister Bonnie. My timing was perfect as Bonnie had not yet received the have you heard from your brother phone call from Maxine yet.

Still burning a bit from Maxine’s question about my health and her assumption, I was a bit more direct with Bonnie, saying I am Gay, its still me and nothing else has changed except I am more open about something I was embarrassed to share.

Bonnie’s reaction was as I had anticipated with her saying I don’t care about that Gerry you are my brother and I loved you before you said you are Gay and I love you just the same now. And then she said to me in a quiet voice, the kind of voice you hear in the movies when it is three o’clock in the morning and someone is knocking at your door, the kind of voice that almost cracks and wishes it did not have to ask the question of who is there, how do you feel?

Not this sister I thought, how do I feel, Bonnie I retorted, I feel great, how do you feel. I mean how do YOU feel she said with a sense of urgency in her voice. How should I feel I decided to answer I just told you something I had been hiding from myself for along time, I feel great. Well that is great she replied but how else do you feel?

Like with my sister Maxine I played the how do you feel game for another three minutes. Like my sister Maxine, my sister Bonnie assumed that being Gay meant I have AIDS.

I was and am HIV negative. My lifestyle never included any risky sexual or social activity which might have may have made me vulnerable. And none of that even counted as my sisters asked me how do I feel, as they never knowing anyone personally who was Gay or perhaps out of the closet, had garnered their homosexual information from bigoted, biased, bogus people who had slandered and run rough shod on all homosexuals and had never taken the time to understand any or all facts on HIV/AIDS.

Twenty five years ago, Gay for many meant AIDS. It was a curse for being something other then straight. It was assumed by many who had no idea, along with dressing in drag, able to decorate a home, style hair that being Gay meant you had AIDS.

When I finally answered my two sisters questions about how I felt and said no, indeed I did not have HIV or AIDS, they sighed. And then I sat down with each of them and said I need to explain to you all the things you assume and then provide real facts. We had quite a conversation, the first time I had mentioned anything about sex with them in my entire life.

This is World AIDS Day. It is day to reflect, review and respond to the people who have died of AIDS, currently live with AIDS and to consider how we can educate others to never have to deal with this disease in the future. It is a day for me that reminds me how not knowing how to ask a question, not understanding why the question is asked, or just assuming the question needs to be asked is so important.

Prejudice is a disease, ignorance is the foundation for prejudice, learning the truth seems to be the only vaccine to cure the illness. My sisters meant no harm. Rather, I am sure they were scared and concerned for their baby brother. I am sad we have to hold World AIDS Day, but the benefits for me seem to be medicine for the soul.

I wish those who have lost loved ones from AIDS a moment of remembrance for the joy and value those who have deceased brought them and still provide them via memories. For those living with AIDS I wish you promise and encouragement and hope. For those who have little idea of the wrath of AIDS I wish for you knowledge and will and the ability to ask any and all questions but not settling until you receive correct answers.