nature or nurture

How come, why, is it nature or nurture. I have some questions for which I cannot figure out the correct answers:

How come the Vatican can act almost instantaneously when it comes to here say and conjecture regarding anything homosexual, but continues to drag its feet when the facts demonstrate a vicious contagious disease of pedophilia from its own employees? Why is it so easy to anoint the Gays as bad people but so damn difficult to stop the hundreds of Priests from ruining the lives of their Parishioners? Is it the nature of the Vatican to ignore its own inability to confront its own ignorance and denial or is it just their nurturing self to permit evil to languish in their Cathedrals?

How come most to many Americans are aghast, agog, awash in disdain when the issue of multiple marriage arises but just seem to look the other way when a man takes on a third wife after cheating on his first and then his second bride? Why is it that we are shocked that a man can marry seven wives at once while some wives love to cheat on their husbands maybe seven times, and think nothing of it? Is it nature that permits adultery, infidelity to happen considering that most of the time no one gets caught or is it nurturing that tugs at our chests and says but this time I promise I won't do it again?

How come when our daughters act like 'Tom Boys', we think its cute encouraging them to play sports, take Math and Science, but when our boys act like sissy's suddenly the masculinity of every male on Earth is called into question. Why is it that girls can take soccer classes, play Little League, even wear their brothers clothes, but when a boy wants a tutu, prefers boas over basketball shorts or loves to lip sync he is treated as a leper, a loser and in need of Jesus Christ's intervention? Is it nature playing her dirty tricks on the gender identification of our little ones or is it that we have over nurtured our kids actually permitting them to be who they want to be?

How come when an athlete comes out of the closet, after he/she has retired from sports is called a hero, brave, a breath of fresh air by the LGBT community, but never asked why if coming out was so life giving, they didn't give themselves life while they were on the team? Why is it we celebrate a victory of coming out after the fact, and don't insist as the LGBT community that the real success is being proud of yourself while you are doing the thing that makes you most proud of yourself? Is it nature that stops us from taking too much of a chance or is it nurturing that permits us to say I am out and proud and kind of, sort of wish I could had done sooner?

How come God told his soldiers his horde of anti abortion terrorists he has given them the Holy okee-doe-kee to kill God's children, but insists if anyone else goes about the business of playing God they must be killed? Why is it that scripture and passage can be found and recited by the most unHoly of men and women who find it easy to murder anyone with whom they disagree on the definition of life, only to defile the same scripture and passage with their heinous acts of violence? Is it nature that says since we are only human we can kill or is it nurturing of evil psyches, hypocritical hysterics, and poisonous minds who love to play God?

So many times I ask how, why and wonder if nature is playing a trick or as humans we are so weak as to allow nurturing to take hold of our actions? So many happenstances, mishaps, half hearted actions find their way into our world. So often I ask why something so insane, inane, irresponsible can take precedent and prevail? So many questions...

just saying...

When Dictators or a Dictatorial Regime take control of lands they have conquered, a few things happen. They begin a pogrom against the arts, begin to make elections difficult, identify specific groups, using them as scapegoats and as reasons for anything bad happening, and try and eliminate the middle class.

When Dictators or a Dictatorial Regime come into power, there is always a doctrine written and expressly followed by the minions who are in government positions. There is always a group of privileged gentry, a secretive selection of wealthy folk, who call the shots but prefer anonymity when doing so. Communication outlets are manipulated, and suddenly anyone questioning the facts or figures is anti government and anti patriotic. Truth is no longer important and fiction fits fine when facts get in the way.

When Dictators or a Dictatorial Regime become the majority ruling party in most governments, they achieve that power by campaigning on fears, promising the impossible, and quite never identify how they would solve the problem, but fill in the missing gaps by stating how everything gone wrong is because those currently in power are prejudiced against the common man. They ignore integrity, double speak, promote prosperity while edging on anarchy and demonize anyone demanding rational, reason or reality.

We believe, in this great nation of ours that a dictator, or a dictatorial regime will never take hold, and that we as Americans are too smart, too wise, too educated to even permit toehold let alone a foothold on our soil.

In the 2010 elections we were told that jobs and the deficit was the key to bringing back the pride in America, by the Republican/Baggers. In the 2010 elections we were promised that job one was to stop unemployment and to fairly reign in the deficit by the Republican/Baggers. In the 2010 elections we were reminded that although the Democrats were only in power for two years, it was this new breed of Republican/Bagger that could wipe away the recession, hire more workers, and make America great once more. Forget the 8 years of the Bush/Cheney Administration and the majority of Republicans in power we were told by the Republican/Baggers, it was the past two years of Democratic control that suddenly caused all this pain.

And amazingly we were sold the Brooklyn Bridge once again; we discovered P.T. Barnum’s theory of a sucker being born every minute to be true, and we voted against our instincts, voting mainly from frustration and fear.

And now we have states who want to defund sources for women’s reproductive rights, who want to deny equality to same sex couples, who believe that fair wages are what the wealthy deem as reasonable, who believe the arts only are expressive of Progressives and Liberals, who feel that women can’t think for themselves.

We have politicians who quote select portions from the Constitution, leaving out any fact that proves their points invalid or demonstrates their own ignorance. We have politicians who want to limit the access minorities, students have to the ballot box because they may vote Democrat. We have politicians who want to starve the poor of entitlements, have the middle class struggle even harder and leave the wealthy wallowing in their millions. We have politicians who find that corporations can spoil the environment, ignore the consumer, rack in profit paying little taxes and act as if their billions of dollars are equal to those barely making minimum wage. And we have politicians who think seniors should work longer, those making minimum wage are selfish, and fair employment laws for kids are unfair to businesses.

When Dictators or a Dictatorial Regime take control of lands they leave little room for dissent, disrupt the checks and balances of society, and disregard anyone who they deem different then they. When Dictators or a Dictatorial regime take control most people never notice the chaos or havoc till it is too late. Most people say America will never see a Dictator or have a Dictatorial Regime.

I say we are in the throws of a dictatorial dilemma. I say we have traveled way too far to the right of the political chart. I say we have a bunch of people masked as Republican/Baggers who want to establish a Dictator or a Dictatorial Regime right under our noses. I am just saying that we have time to stop all of this, so why aren't we?

Memorial Day thoughts

Remembrance, memorialize, thanks... all of these words are on the tips of our tongues as we embrace Memorial Day 2011. Monday, May 30, '2011' and for many of us, even if only a minute of our life, we take some time to think about those who placed their lives at risk and some who gave up their lives for freedom, justice, and equality. We parade, pause, ponder, we pray seeking purpose, we contemplate seeking reason, and we rationalize seeking answers as to why human life has to be put to this test and why some who are tested are tested with their lives.

Many of us know or knew a Vet, a soldier, sailor, marine, our grandparents from WWII, our parents from the Korean Conflict, our brothers or sisters from the war in Viet Nam, our kids from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of us only see from a distance those dressed in khaki, navy whites, those with air force wings, some carrying duffel bags, wearing dog tags around their necks, insignias of rank on their clothing.

We embraced the fighting men and women returning from Europe and the Pacific after the Second World War, we applauded the men and women home from Korea, we ignored those warriors from Viet Nam, and we silently shudder with disbelief as the many kids returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan, return with physical, and mental trauma not knowing exactly what to say or how to help them heal.

I remember when a Vet was someone at least 20 years older than me. I remember when I was in college and suddenly old friends, childhood acquaintances, high school friends were now Vets, and now I watch or read as people younger than my kids are military men and women, are Vets. Memorial Day, which I once thought was just an old man's holiday, no longer has an age boundary.

I will never understand war and all its ramifications. I will never truly understand the bravery it must take to fight in a war. I will never comprehend when war is just and when it isn't. And I will never know the residue of having served in the military. But I will continue my self journey into recognizing the energy, effort and enthusiasm of those who are a member of the armed services and their motives and motivations for doing so.

On this Memorial Day my thoughts are with those who served, currently serving and the family and friends that surround all of them with love.

a memorial day remembrance

The morning would start with a chance of rain, lots of humidity, and gray clouds looming large with billows of white and charcoal seemingly reaching down to Earth almost touching the ground. Flags of all shapes and sizes were placed in the yards, upon the eaves of homes and some would even be flying from the lower hanging branches of trees in the front of homes.

Grandma's would have their grand kids bundle up the lawn chairs, the ones used to protect newly shoveled parking spaces in the front of their homes in the winter, to now secure a space on the sidewalk facing the soon to be parade. Everyone had a piece of clothing with all three colors of the flag, or at least two of the three colors, and almost all the kids were able to wear their new sneakers purchased to celebrate the official kick off to summer. The ice cream truck would make an early run and his overly sugared chime would ring from his vehicle reminding us that this was not only a special day but the start of the season by which popsicles, creamsicles, dreamsicles and ice cream sandwiches could be purchased for a mere quarter.

We walked to the corner of Alyesboro and Shady Avenues passing members of the Jewish War Veterans, Knights of Columbus, Veterans of Foreign Wars, all happily walking to the sight of the Memorial Day Parade. Some Moms insisted on bringing umbrellas for fear the weather might turn bad, and some older women had their babushka's on along with galoshes just in case the deluge happened before returning home. The firetruck was on the corner and three firemen were at the ready to lead a tour of the truck permitting all kids and their Dad's to step upon the truck and inspect this red monster.

My Dad was the Sargent of police at Station 11 in Squirrel Hill. On a day like this he was the alpha dog and all the pomp and circumstance happening for the Memorial Day Parade in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood happened under his jurisdiction. On this day my Dad was king of the hill. And on this day all the kids living on Denniston Avenue, those friendly with the Buncher kids, were given special treatment. We were able to gather by the grandstand, given confetti, and could actually to speak to the Mayor and the Councilmen from our district. We were even able to get free popcorn!

We were living in America in the 1950's and this day taught us more about our history then anything we could have learned in school. We pledged allegiance, sang the Star Bangled Banner, listened to stories about the wars, heard the Taylor Allderdice High School Marching Band pump out America the Beautiful, saw ladies with bouffants ride in Chevy, Cadillac, Buick convertibles, watched the Steel Mill workers, the Fraternal Order of Police, the Iron and Brick Layers parade with pride, and were told in song and story why fighting, protecting, even dying for this country had purpose and meaning. There was a pride shared by those in attendance, for this nation and its heroes who helped to make us safe.

The parade probably lasted half an hour but for us it seems to go on longer, and the colors, music, and smells lingered in our minds for the entire day. It never rained on the Memorial Day Parade and many Grandma's would swear it was because they brought the umbrellas and babushkas warding off the bad weather. The kids from Denniston would play in front of the row houses, we would still be singing some of the patriotic songs from the parade, and we all felt a little more secure and safe.

My Mom, would make her fried chicken, grill hot dogs and hamburgers on the charcoal grill, and share her home made, apple, and cherry pies with the neighborhood. My Dad would arrive home after the parade in his police car with the siren blaring, letting all the kids inspect the police car. We would respectfully take down the flags, handling them as if they were holy shrines and talk about the best parts of that days events.

It was Memorial Day, and even in my mid life I can remember how special of a day it was.

almost memorial day

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service.

As I recall, the word nation in this context is as in ALL 50 states that make up this nation called the United States of America. As I recall when the men and women bravely join the armed forces of the USA, they have signed on to defend all of us who call ourselves citizens of this nation. As I recall, those who serve or have served in the military do so to defend every person living in this country no matter which state they call home. As I recall those heros's who have died while defending the USA, died knowing it was dedication, desire, and determination to keep ALL people of ALL 50 states, or whatever the number was during their enlistment, safe, sound and secure.

Somehow, in America 2011, as we celebrate Memorial Day, as we honor the fallen, the brave, the many Americans giving their life, for liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the word ALL, as in ALL 50 states does not resonate as loud as it once did.

It seems, that many who call themselves Republicans/Baggers feel that this country is not an amalgamation of 50 states, but more so 50 states which happen to inhabit a land called America. It seems for the people who vote Republican/Bagger, the number 50 means very little and the only number of importance is one, as in my one state. It seems for those who would rather a majority of politicians be Republican/Bagger, that America is not a nation for ALL, but a nation for a few which each state deciding who exactly is equal and who is separate but equal.

Folks in California don't think that all people are equal and if you prefer the same sex to make love to, you certainly should not be able to marry them. Folks in Arizona, believe that if you look brown skinned you need to be questioned as to your birth rites. People in Indiana believe that women are too foolish to have rights about their reproductive parts of their bodies. People in Texas don't think that homosexuals should adopt kids. People in certain states want to control women's sexual practices, union wages, who should complain about bullying, and the size of education as long as it is public education.

Suddenly this nation has found itself full of people who have little regard for the whole but more concerned with the parts. Suddenly this nation has found itself with people who no longer see us as one nation, under God indivisible of liberty and justice for all, but more in which some people are invisible. Suddenly this nation finds itself breaking up into 50 nations, each limiting the equality, freedom, and fairness for anyone deemed different.

Memorial Day is approaching and we are about to honor those who died in our nations service. Just how many died, who were women, homosexual, of brown skin, union workers, parents of adoptive kids, non-evangelicals, children of gay parents? How many of those who died had no idea that one state would not permit certain unalienable rights, rights in the Constitution, to certain citizens of the nation?

Memorial Day is fast approaching and I wonder if some states, those with Republican/Bagger majorities will limit who can be honored in their state if those they honor are to be found to be people who have no rights in those same states?

why wonder why

Just a few thoughts about our world that make me wonder, and wonder why:

Today on our LA public radio the discussion was about the Ryan Tax Plan and in particular his urgency to provide vouchers for future recipients of Medicare. There was a Republican Congress person from California who spoke about this being America, then by all means the free market should be the decider in the cost of health care and permitting Americans to purchase vouchers for their medicare needs is as red, white and blue as anyone could get. This Congressperson insisted that the market would be fair in deciding the cost of services and government only gets in the way of achieving that goal.

Then I had to wonder why, why if the free market is the salvation for prices and cost of services, why my health insurance premiums are on the rise and have been on the rise for the past 6 years? Then I had to wonder why if left to their own free market devices, why health carriers can only see the cost of services rise, their profits increase, and their coverage either more difficult to access or so costly to access that a select few are the only ones lucky enough to own them. Then I had to wonder why anyone would even consider the same free marketeers, the ones who currently control the costs and services within the health insurance world, could be trusted to be the people whose products we would spend our voucher dollars on if the Ryan Plan is passed. I had to wonder, if the free market is so free why is it so costly for most of us to participate within the market and always so free to raise the cost of services?

Today MSNBC announced that Sarah Palin is about to start a road trip across the country in an anticipated run for the Presidency. Her One Nation tour will “celebrate the meaning of our nation’s blueprints, our Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution, which are the threads that weave our past into the fabric necessary for the survival of American, exceptionalism, so say her aides.

I have to wonder why someone so divisive, so belligerent, so selfish, so self serving is so embraced by so many Republican primary voters? I have to wonder why any American would consider a future President, a person who has drawn a line in the sand as to who should be treated equal and who should only be treated separate but equal. Why they would rally around a person who has decided some should be left out of receiving the rights the Constitution put in place because of their color of skin, religion, gender or sexual orientation. And why the Republican public would even consider endorsing a person who refused to answer to the press, acknowledge any mistakes in her life, and blames everyone else for any mis-step in her life.

Then I have to wonder why we as Americans don't place higher standards of honesty, integrity, and common sense in those we want to elect President in this great nation of ours?

Since the self described 'massacre' by Democrats of the Republican win in the 2010 election when a majority of Americans decided that only the Republicans could replenish jobs, and cut the deficit, there has been little effort to create jobs and stop the deficit, and more effort to cut government services, increase government intervention into the private lives of Americans, an assault on the working class, and an all out war on women's rights. The Republicans told us forget the past 8 years of their majority role, as those 8 years of two un-budgeted wars, sustained tax cuts for the rich, less regulations for the oil, financial, and insurance industries were just a blip on the economic road map for America. And if we trust the Republicans over the socialist Democrats things would get better.

I wonder why all the states who bought the Republican plan of forgetting the past and ended up electing a majority of state legislators from the Republican/Bagger party are the same states with high deficits, less jobs but more anti abortion anti choice/anti union/and more government intervention in their every day lives? I wonder why the deficit somehow will be made less by cutting entitlement programs asking the poor to middle class to deny themselves a better life, but never once insisting that the wealthy 2% also pitch in to do their fair share? I wonder why mass transit, light rail, infrastructure projects are deemed socialism, and why bigger classrooms, underpaid teachers promoted as Americana?

Then I have to wonder if any of us will recover from this so called massacre or the bleeding and division, the we vs they mentality, the do as I say not as I do slogans or the double standards we voted into office this past election? And I wonder if we will permit ourselves to be duped yet again?

Sometimes I just wonder why.

LAX

It was 11:00 and there I was at LAX, standing at the curb, holding my daughter in my arms wishing I was welcoming her to my house, rather than saying goodbye and call me when you arrive in Pittsburgh. It was 11:03 and she grabbed her luggage placed her back pack on her shoulders, started walking away from me toward the United Terminal and I felt my heart fall into my stomach, my stomach tighten as if I was on the downward slope of a roller coaster, and my spirit fade and fall and seem to go into hiding. It was 11:05 and I started the car, headed toward the exit, looking for Century Boulevard, and looking for some reason why I had to say goodbye.

Our kids are magic. They suddenly are in our lives, there is instant and unconditional love, and immediately life seems lost without them once they move on, move up, move away. Our kids are miracles. They suddenly are in our lives and the first word, the first step, the first day of school, the first time they are sad or happy transform our world and we see a bigger picture from something so tiny and trivial. Our kids are momentous. They instill fairness, inform us of our frailties, find truth when we just wanted to look the other way and define just and fair when forces beyond our control seem to be full of injustice and unfairness.

11:10 and I am on the road home minus my front seat passenger, and minus my little girl who at 30 years of age is still my baby. I am driving home hoping Dani Buncher's flight is safe and stress free, and wishing life would allow for me to see her every day. We hugged and said I love you, we laughed about the week we just spent in each other's company, and we silently looked, stared at the soon to be emptiness, the distance in time and space that would separate us.

11:45, I am home and my partner Joe is waiting with a shoulder to lean on, tissue in which to dry my tears, and an ear to listen as I lament the fact that I already miss my daughter. I am home and wait to receive the call from my daughter that she has arrived in Pittsburgh, all is well and perhaps when she might return.

Love is amazing. Love is wonderful, worrisome, wanting and wanting more. My daughter Dani, spent a week with me, and I wish she never had to leave because once she was in my arms again I never wanted to stop holding her.

It is now 5:28 and I am sad, but so lucky to have a daughter as delightful as Dani.

May 22

It is the day after, the day where for some, the beginning of the end was to have started, and the day after the end of days was to have begun. It is the day after, for those who believe in a God, very human like, was to have punished those he created in his image and destroy a place he so coveted and cared for. It is the day after many a man and woman, stopped believing in the future and dwelt on the here and now waiting for the Rapture to seduce them into a heaven with room for only a select few, selected by their merits of hate, discrimination, bias and bigotry.

God for some is great, for some God is greedy, for some God is a matter of imagination, for some God is the validation for devaluing, degrading and discarding the value and viability of other humans with which we share this Earth. God for some does not exist, God for some is why we exist, for some God is the scapegoat necessary to understand why we should and could hate without any hesitation. God for some is truth, purity, honesty and piety, for others God is reason to strive for a better life, but before the better life happens, others must be eliminated and recognized as a hindrance in achieving that life.

God for some is recognizable in how we give, receive, and share. God for some is seen in the actions we perform and the intentions we admit. For some God is the voice that reminds us that different is bad, equal is wrong, and some people will never be like us. For some, God speaks with a very structured tongue, with very strict rules and very little room for compromise or consensus. For some, God will never be happy unless each and every one of us is exactly alike. For some God is miracles and we are on Earth to create our own miracles just like God.

We have heard from those who knew that the end of days would begin on May 21, that God was unhappy with Gays, or minorities, or Jews, or women demanding reproductive rights. We heard Scripture read with venom and vehemence as to the evils existing on Earth. And we heard CERTAIN verses recited that clearly if you think anything murky is clear, why there are the chosen to be raptured into heaven and the rest to rot in Hell. We heard even when we didn't want to listen that some of us are good and most of us are bad!

May 21 has come and gone. Perhaps for some we bit the bullet, perhaps for others the gun really wasn't loaded with all the bullets and like a game of Russian roulette we should play another round to find our fate. May 21 has come and gone but the hate that was to be ended, the vile and vitriol surrounding all of us each and every day, the blame and bias still remain. And it seems to me we still face the horrors of extinction, the shallowness of humankind, and the end of fair and decent days if ALL of us don't stop and take responsibility and reverse the road of life we walk.

For some we speak about God but never listen, for some we define God as told to us by others, for some we don't care about God, but then don't care about much else either. For some May 21 was a laughing matter, silly people hating and using religion as their rationale. For some the joke will continue but will be less funny and more serious as why and what we hate will grow and grow.

Now that it is May 22, what is next? What is it we need to do stop man made doom and destruction?

how come?

How come the hate? Seriously now, how come so much hate in the state legislatures where the majority of both houses or the newly elected Governor is a member of the Republican/Bagger Party is so great? How come freedoms, rights and equality seem to be the line in the sand? How come its always about the haves not wanting anyone else to even share in the same glory and greatness of this nation? How come it is about the denial rather than the inclusion, about the limitation rather than the abundance, about the refusal than the acceptance.

How come when the Republican/Baggers were swept into office with the promise of jobs, jobs, jobs and concern about the deficit, the only attempts made for change just seemed to be changes in the equal rights, the personal rights, the unique rights of identities of anyone deemed different. How come the fault of this nations economy had nothing to do with 8 years of bogus government, based on rewarding lies leverage, hypocrisy hate, vitriol and venom but is now blamed on wage earners, women and gays? How come it is cool to hate anyone who wants universal health care, a clean environment, a separation between church and state, and women's right to claim he reproductive choices?

How come every currently announced or soon to be announced presidential candidate for the Republican/Bagger ticket has to swear allegiance to Grover Norquist's no tax increase mandate even if raising some taxes will create compromise and equality in attending to the nations deficit? How come the men and women running for the highest office in this land from the Republican/Bagger party have to announce just how Christian they are, how homophobic they are, how anti women's rights they are, how hateful they are for universal health care they are? How come all f the Republican/Bagger candidates running in the presidential primary are never, ever permitted to talk about inclusion or compromise?

And how come ALL of the fair/open minded people in this nation are not insisting that honesty, morality, ethical equality minded men and women be the only ones we listen to in trying to solve the issues that have ensued this great country of ours?

How come we are letting the loonies run the institution, and not doing much to stop the madness that is American politics in 2011?

do as i say

Today we learned that ex Governor Schwarzenegger fathered a child 10 years ago with an employee of the Schwarzenegger family. The Governor is no longer in office so somehow the truth was set free and while he was in office for the past eight years of his bastard's child life, I suppose it was impractical to do the right thing for just two people. I feel sorry for the ex-Governor's children with Maria Shriver and feel just as sorry for the child who was busy growing up not knowing who his biological father was. If the Governor had not been a public figure I would have little business in even commenting on his sexual provocations and would perhaps snicker and slyly say the man had little respect for his wife. But he was elected by the people of California and supposedly elected to uphold moral and ethical values for the people of this state. So his extramarital affair is my business and the fact that he did not take responsibility for his inappropriate actions makes him a liar, a looser, and one more politician who says do s I say not as I do.

Newt Gingrich has been blessed by the Preacher Franklin Graham the inheritor of the Christian Gospel kingdom of his father the Reverend Billy Graham (who while meeting with Richard Nixon said in a 1973 conversation said Jews are not friends of America, and then included a Biblical verse on the "synagogue of Satan," as proof of the Jews being enemies), as a good candidate for President. The preacher Franklin Graham while explaining his close relationship with Jesus and espousing the sins of gay marriage, seemed to have a bout of amnesia in remembering that Newt was divorced two times, cheated on his second wife with another married woman and insisted Newt was the kind of man America needed. Once again, the preacher was supporting the activities of man who was even quoted as saying do as I say not as I do. If Newt was just a chump from Georgia who had little regard for women I would care less about his selfish self serving immature behavior, but he was a politician and is now wanting to run for the highest office in this land.

Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma states very loudly and proudly he is a purveyor of good Christian family values. He will place his Bible and love for God against anyone who might want to differ, and he will tell you that family, kids and wife rate an A+ in his every day job as a lawmaker in America. He will quote chapter and verse reciting the word of god which proves homosexuality is a sin, same-sex marriage an abomination and women who think for themselves and are given rights over their reproductive rights are acting just like Eve when she had the audacity to bite the apple in the Garden of Eden. Senator Coburn was investigated by the Justice Department on the ethics scandal of another Family Values Senator Jon Ensign of Nevada as to how he (Coburn) acted as the go-between, the mediator to try and buy off the married woman Senator Ensign slept with. Senator Coburn, the man of family Value, the protector of the Institution of Marriage, the keeper of the Bible thought it was more God like to buy off the adulterer and the adulteree. I couldn't care less about the hypocrisy of Mr. Coburn if say he was just an okee from Oklahoma, but Mr. Coburn is an elected official responsible for creating or destroying laws for all Americans. And he has no scruples.

I am sick and tired of being told an LGBT, as woman, as a non Evangelical Christian, as a working middle class person as a senior that my needs don't fit some grand plan as interpreted by those who tell us they know better, they best, they know God. I am tired of a sucker being born every minute in this country because those who are suckered are ignorant, arrogant, bigoted and plain too dumb to think for themselves e so easily swayed by immoral hypocrites who hate anyone but themselves.

If those who abuse the trust of marriage, the hearts of their spouses, the hopes of their children were just the average Joe or Joanne I could feel sorry for their empty emotional lives and their selfish, greedy behaviors. But more and more the ignoramuses that proclaim moral and ethical superiority are also in charge of making laws or diminishing laws in this country, that affect, you, me our children and families. and it seems more and more as 2011 takes hold the same do as I say not as I do powerful people are gaining more and more power.

we have been told

We were told, during the Viet Nam War that to argue the value of that war, to protest America's involvement in that civil war was unpatriotic, we were told that you should love it or leave it if you questioned why and how America was involved in Southeast Asia? And yet very patriotic Americans, felt such love for their country that they fought battle after battle hoping to prove the politicians, the military industrial complex, the real red white and blue star spangles banner people were correct. And then we left Saigon in a helicopter, said goodbye to this nation and never saw the dominoes fall in Southeast Asia as we were promised would happen had we not intervened.

We were told that Osama bin Laden was number one on the most wanted list of America. We were reminded that HE embodied all that was bad and taking him out was job one. We were told that weapons of mass destruction were just awaiting the sanction of Saddam and we needed, no we HAD to invade that country before they had a chance to bomb Washington DC. We were told that water boarding was the American way and to only dance with the devil was not good enough, you had to drown him and make him weep with water pouring from his lungs. And we were told by the man who became President,(partly because he seemed like the person you could sit at a bar with and have a drink), and his behind the scenes manipulators like Cheney and Rumsfeld, that ANYONE who didn't hate like hell all those Arabs was not American in any which way whatsoever.

We are told that raising the taxes for the wealthy is the road to ruination and the most UnAmerican act one can perform. We are told after 8 years of trickle up taxes that if we even attempt to raise the fair share of taxes the rich pay, this nation will lie in rubble as job creation will flow off the coast and find its way to India, China and anywhere else where earning $1.00 an hour is reasonable. We are told that even though in the past years during the heyday of the Bush tax breaks we experienced the worst recession more jobs were sent oversees and the jobs still left in this country paid below minimum wage that NOW the raising of taxes for the wealthy would make a BIG difference. We are told the American way is to thank the rich for keeping Capitalism alive and punish the poor for wanting more.

We are told that Jesus is a bit picky about who exactly he created and who he loves by people who tell us they know Jesus better than most. We are told that when Jesus traveled on the Mayflower with the Pilgrims he insisted that this nation become a Christian nation and that when he was about to sign the Constitution with the Founding Fathers he never meant for a separation of Church and State, we are told this by men and women living in Ivory Towers, who like to raise lots of money from poor, uneducated people, and who love to find bias and bigotry in the Bible. We are told that according to the Scripture that all men and of course all women were not and are not created equal, unless that is they permit those in the know to describe equality in their own prejudiced way. And we are told that the downfall of America is because of the Gays, Women's reproductive rights, anyone non Christian, people of color especially if they live in places like Detroit and like hip hop, or speak in Mexican...oops Spanish!

We have been told and are told what it is that makes America great and of course who and what doesn't add an iota of Americana to this right wing Tea Bag evangelical Christian nation. We have been told and are told that a true American does not ask questions and if he/she does then there must be some communist agenda at hand. We are told and have been told that fair and equal is only fair and equal for some people and anyone who is not on the list as created by people like the Koch Brothers, FOX News, Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck is a leech and just wants something for nothing. We are told and have been told trust us, we know, our way is the right way by religious zealots, professional politicians, and wealthy men and women who like to restrict wealth to a select few, that to think on your own, to ask why, to question only leads to revolution, socialism and the Rapture coming way too early.

When is it our turn to stop listening and time to talk back? When is it our turn to have others listen to us and as we speak to communicate rather than being talked to? When do we ALL become smart enough to say you have told us and told us and told us, but have never said anything that makes sense?

what's God got to with this?

Why is it that the people who preach the destruction of the world, the end of civilization, the ones who say they and only they understand the complexities of the Bible and it is they and only they who God chooses to speak to happen to be the last people on Earth anyone would expect a higher power to recognize let alone talk to? Why is it they can openly hate Gays, Blacks, Women rights, demonstrate bias and bigotry and in the same breathe speak for God proclaiming he/she has chosen them as his/her voice on Earth? Why is it that those who act as prophets for God even imagine that God would select people who discriminate, discern, divide and employ those who openly hate God's creations to represent him?

Why is it that the Pope and his peons of the Papacy are eager to identify the immoral and blasphemous call out the homosexuals who want to marry or adopt, warn the women who want ownership of their own bodies, single out the sinners who my want to live together before they marry to make sure that when they marry they love one another, but somehow can't pinpoint the Priests who molest kids over and over again? Why is it so easy to lambaste the legions of men and women who express the desire for freedom, fair and just, and just never take any responsibility in owning up to the simple fact that the hierarchy of the Church couldn't care less about curbing the irresponsible, immoral and insidious actions of their employees? Why is that in the eyes of the Vatican, God hates Gays, Women's rights but loves a good molester?

Why is it that those who need health care, fair wage, social services are the first to be duped by politicians paid for by billionaires and become the official army to rid this country of benefits that will only enhance and enrich their own lives? Why is it those who need more argue to receive less because they are told that wanting more is selfish and UnAmerican by a bogus group of self serving, selfish men and women who receive more each time a crowd chants NO! Why is it that lemming like behavior seems to latch on to people who are afraid of the truth and instead capitulate to lies and innuendo? Why is it that those who love to hate, to deny, to divide and conquer somehow identify themselves as God like, God's chosen?

Why is it that Orthodox Rabbi's in New York were ready to support a man who cheated on his wife, was a slum landlord, used intimidation tactics to be Governor only to change their minds when he was found out to own property where a Gay Bar was located? Why is that Franklin Graham son of the Reverend Billy Graham proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ announced publicly that Barack Obama is not a Christian while praising the Christianity of Newt Gingrich, thrice married, an adulterer, and purveyor of lies? Why is it that Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma self proclaimed representative of Family Values and all things God and his side kick ex Senator Rick Sanatorum of Pennsylvania, hopeful Republican/Bagger presidential candidate and prophet of what God really wants and needs, helped aid Senator Jon Ensign of Nevada continue his adulterous infidelity affair with a married women and a mother of someone else's children?

Why is it that those who seem in direct conflict with good, goodness and God somehow grab the headlines, the honors, and the attention and without any hesitation are given permission to speak as if they were anointed by God? Why is it those of us who know love, know equality, know right, know justice allow the hypocrite to be heard above any and all reason or rhyme?

What’s God got to do with this madness anyway?

Cheri Daniels of Indiana

Mrs. Cheri Daniels, you are the wife of Governor Mitch Daniels (R) Indiana, and recently with the push of his majority of Republican/Baggers legislators, he approved a bill to cut funding to Planned Parenthood in the Hoosier State approximately $4 million worth.

I am curious, as the First Lady of the state of Indiana if you have any concern for the women in your state, particularly the poor, the under-insured, the fearful to tell their husbands, young women who now don't have an outlet for reproductive, health matters, and family planning. I am curious if you have considered this anti feminine move by your husband and his co-haters of women rights, what happens NOW to women in your state who sought out Planned Parenthood because that organization was the ONLY organization many woman could afford and felt free to pursue in regard to their physical and mental health needs?

I know you don't like to be in the limelight and your husband has often been quoted in saying FAMILY is the utmost of importance. I know that you remain silent in public, but I wonder Mrs. Daniels, in PRIVATE, does your conscience bother you when what your husband approved had more to do with politics then with the welfare of women? I wonder, Mrs First Lady of Indiana, Daniels, if you and your Governor husband discussed what the denial of services offered by Planned Parenthood in Indiana would do for the health and welfare of women in your state with your four daughters? I wonder Mrs. Daniels if you and your family values husband have discussed with your four daughters how suddenly Big Government intervention in the reproductive and health rights of women demeans the intelligence, insight and freedoms of women, some of whom might be your daughters ages, friends, or acquaintances, or as they say 6 degrees of separation from your four daughters?

I wonder, Mrs Daniels, if your were not the wife of a millionaire and could not afford really swell health insurance for you and your four daughters, what you might think about removing one outlet that women seek for their reproductive and health concerns that also provides them a safe and secure environment for their private needs? I wonder Cheri Daniels how you would, if you were not the wife of a millionaire, explain to your daughters that they have little choice in seeking care and are considered by a majority of men and some self loathing women as not being smart enough to understand and make judgement on their own bodies?

Now, Mrs Daniels, I don't think that women's reproductive rights is a cause that ONLY women should be concerned with, as I don't think Gay rights are the purview of the LGBT community, or civil rights should only be cared for by people of color, BUT I do think as a woman, a mother, a wife you might wonder why most Republican/Baggers in your state feel they can intervene, think, and decide for females better then the females living in Indiana?

I know Mrs. Daniels that governing is male stuff, and you probably like being the "little lady" at home taking care of your hubby and four daughters, and Mrs. Daniels there is NOTHING at all wrong with that. Men and women should be able to live their life any way they wish, but when the government takes that right away then choice of any kind no longer exists.

I wonder, Mrs. Daniels, what kind of role model your inaction in the denial of funds for Planned Parenthood in your state of Indiana as sanctioned by your husband, Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana provides for your four daughters?

Oh, by the way a belated Happy Mother's Day to you!

once said

My mother was a quiet woman. She felt that actions many times could be louder than any word muttered, murmured or shouted. She seldom spoke badly about anyone and when on the receiving end of gossip, many times shook her head and said in a silent whisper, its a shame all they can find is dirt that they left on the carpet in the first place.

My mother believed that words could be infectious and the disease they left behind once said aloud, could be an instant injury or a disease that lingered way too long and would destroy a life in the long run.

My mother cautioned her kids on what we say, and how we say it. She understood anger, frustration and the frailty of ego and knew to lash out was common and when lashing out we often used our muscle and not our minds.

It was difficult as a youngster to yell and scream at anyone and to call them names, and if we were caught some kind of lecture would certainly befall us causing us to actually think about our actions. At times my sisters and I tried to control our frustration and most times we stated words we would later regret but words that felt good to scream at the time. And my mother would just ask us if the name calling, the innuendo, the fact-less fiction we used to make us look better would still make sense a day, week or month from now?

My mother insisted that unless we really were sure of who the devil was, who the bad guy was, who really was guilty or the culprit, perhaps we had to hold the hate and investigate the truth.

Recently, in America starting in 2010 we have heard from many Republican/Baggers that the President is a Kenyan, a Muslim, that Gays have the power to stop heterosexuals in their track from marrying and can with the swish of a wrist destroy the Institution of Marriage, Planned Parenthood does nothing but prefer, perform and protect abortions, poor people are poor because they are lazy, asking for a fair wage and cost of living is the reason for recession, and anyone who does not know the Jesus as described by Robertson, Falwell and Beck are disciples of the Devil.

It seems that words flow freely in America 2010. no need for fact, no need for truth, no need for reason. It seems that very few consequences arise or will arise if you speak from bias, bigotry or bogus. It seems that in America starting in 2010 to hurt is helpful, to defame is desirerous, and to lie a luxurious lifestyle reaping riches and rewards.

Words once said can cause infection and lead to a long drawn out death, according to my mother. I wonder how she would tolerate the words spewed by Republican/Baggers, never said from truth, and wonder how dismayed and distraught she would find her self.

And I wonder how my mother would even understand that we as Americans permit these words to be said and said and said?

and now

And now Newt, "Do as I say NEVER as I do," Gingrich has announced his plan to run for President. He reminded the public listening to his announcement that he will save the United States from the Fascist agenda of the secular's and the Gays. And now the Republican Governor of Indiana has approved that states Republican/Bagger's majority legislature's bill to cut ALL funds to Planned Parenthood thus eliminating support for health care to middle class and poor women. He is still being encouraged by Republican/Bagger pollsters to please already throw his hat into the Presidential ring. And now due to pressure from homophobic hypocritical Christian Republican/Bagger politicians, the navy chaplaincy will not provide services of those in navy seeking same sex unions.

And now the Republican/Baggers of Minnesota want to put to vote a bill that will become a state constitutional amendment to ban now and forever the scourge of same-sex marriage. This denial of equal and just is of prime priority usurping jobs and the deficit. And now Dick Cheney and his daughter Liz have crawled out of their cave hidden somewhere in Wyoming and are claiming along with Donald "Rumy" Rumsfeld, that the Republican policy of torture and in particular water boarding were the true reason for the finding and killing of bin Laden. All three had no idea while in office and while torturing all those glorious years bin Laden hadn't been found, but somehow they believe there were residuals from the water boarding that led to the location of bin Laden.

And now we are told by a radio host/preacher Harold Camping that the world will end on May 21, 2011 and after re-reading the New Testament since his first approach at the world ending on September 6, 1994. And part of the reason for the newly found Rapture is partly caused by the Homosexual Agenda to ruin the morals of America. And now we are told by House Republicans in a bill they want passed that would limit the rape exception for Medicaid-covered abortion to "forcible rape." That means statutory rape or "date rape" wouldn't count. And now we are told that there would be a truce on social issues and no culture war by the Republican/Baggers and that deficit and unemployment would be the primary concern of those in the majority and now we have over 573 bills across 49 states trying to stop, end, halt abortion rights for women.

And maybe NOW, those who cared less about not voting, or cared greatly about voting the current crop of bums in 2010 out, or were careless in voting for the Republican/Bagger candidates because they would create real change those people will begin to care about a country run by bogus, bias buffoons paid and pampered by billionaires and bigots.

And maybe if you are not a woman or do not know a woman, if you are not a homosexual or do not know a homosexual, are not a middle class blue collar worker or do not know a middle class blue collar, if you are not a senior adult living off of social security or know a senior adult living on social security, then Maybe, just Maybe it doesn't matter what the Republican/Bagger, politicians/policies/pretense have in store for this country.

is it just me

I am not sure if I understand how we define heros in this day and age of 2011? I am not sure how role models are discovered in these tumultuous times of 2011? I am not sure how the cream does not seem to rise to the top and the crude instead finds its way as the primo position to be noticed in 2011?

It seems the attention given is to those who shout hate louder than others, those who can lie louder than others, and those who demonstrate discord and disdain and delight in the denial of rights and freedoms. Somehow venom, vile and vitriolic are the attractive traits in showcasing the skill set and standards of those upon whom we are to rely.

From the potential candidates interested in the office of President on the Republican/Bagger ticket, to the false prophets who say they speak for some kind of God who created some in his image and others were made by the Devil, to the new kids on the block promoted on such culturally rich channels as MTV, VH1, TLC and Bravo we suddenly are told to be awe inspired, attuned, and enriched by luminaries whose luster shines like a green ring on cheap piece of jewelry.

When Trump trumpets all other potential candidates with racist, bigoted innuendo, when Beck can beckon bastions of brainless people to read the Bible his way with his definitions, when Snooki earns thousands of dollars for nothing more than lewdness, drunkenness and disrespect for anyone but her, it makes me wonder how and why. When cartoon characters with little moral, ethic or conscience no longer just appear on Saturday mornings, and are viewed anytime any where on our 24/7 cable world, and a majority of people think they are real, I worry. And most importantly, I become confused why?

In my 61 years of life I have witnessed cultural icons who were the talk of the town, who heralded headlines, who had their 15 minutes of infamy, yet America at the time seemed to be smart enough to know bogus from bravery, histrionics from honest, and fact from fiction. Americans were willing to find the core of concern and delete the bias and bigotry from any BS shouted and instead of lingering on every word of inaccuracy laughed them off.

As woman in 2011, I have to now listen as others tell me the right way to treat my body, my reproductive rights, as a LGBT I have to listen to others tell me how I can't marry, can't raise kids, can't fall in love, as a middle class person I have to listen to others telling me I am greedy, I want more than I deserve, I am lazy, as a non-Evangleical Christian I have to listen to others explain that THE true God does not care for me, that the Constitution included the phrase that this a Christian nation, as a person with disabilities I have to listen to others yelling at me to find another entrance, it's okay to be excluded, and as senior citizen I have to listen to others who say, yeah, yeah, yeah so you paid into a system promised to keep you alive, but too bad now!

And when I look to find my role models, my hero's I first have to sift through thrice married men who cheat on the wives, unwed teens who glamorize having babies, wealthy entertainers, who make millions of dollars while screaming that the working class receive too much, politicians who do as I say but never as I do, and people so eager to find the differences between all of us rather than spend a single minute on trying to pursue what makes us the same.

At 61, I have never felt like someone in the beginning of the autumn years of my life ready to settle in, settle down, I have never pooh-poohed what is cool, what is new, what is hip, and have embraced concepts that seem foreign to me but might have purpose and practicality. But somehow, I can't understand why the crop of men and women who earn top billing, headlines and flash points on the news seems to do so for the negative and never the positive?

Is it just me?

1950's again for the first time

It was 1956, and the large homes across the street from our one family row houses on Denniston Avenue, were beginning to be converted into apartments and the owners were either moving out themselves or they were remolding the homes to use as rentals. We lived in Squirrel Hill a predominately Jewish neighborhood and it was a no brainer to think that anyone but more Jewish families would want to move into these apartments. But somehow even within the middle class Jewish families living on our street, my family included, there seemed to be a bit of fear that moving into these newly built apartments would be a bunch of Refugees. Refugees from some Eastern European country who truth be told (at least truth from the neighbors already living on Denniston), that these Refugees would suddenly turn our street into a shtettle (a Jewish ghetto) where laundry would be hanging from their windows, goats would roam in the back yards, and no one would speak English. And the odor wafting from their open windows would smell like a combination of body odor fried turnips and cooked fish, with the head and bones of the fish being thrown on the grassy green front yards.

Even before the first for rent sign went up, before the camels or the donkeys paraded the future residents to the front steps of the homes on Denniston, the fear mongers of Denniston fanned by the fear fantasies of relatives and friends of the Denniston gang shouted loud and clear, these Refugees were not one of us based on nothing but fiction, fable and fear.

When a white man and black woman or black man and white woman strolled into a restaurant in Pittsburgh in the 1950's a place (where almost everyone was seated and almost everyone was white), watching the entrance any hubbub or hooting or hollering seemed to cease and wild whispers of look at that, who do they think they are, imagine the gall enveloped the room. And that night in many of the homes of the fair minded folk wild fables based on fear overtook the conversation and prophecies of since the kids would be two colors he/she would live a miserable life, if God wanted a mixed race he would have created it, and better watch your kid because the blacks were only interested in whites and will take what they want.

No one seemed to ever know the integrated couples brave enough to enter the restaurant but everyone was eager to state the selfishness, self-serving, and silliness of their actions. Most to many could not fathom why or how this could happen, but based on nothing but fiction, fable and fear they tried to repress any more of it taking place.

In the 50's a woman's place was in the home, cleaning, cooking, and certainly not working. She was the foundation of the family and for her to want more than babies every other year, dishes and diapers to be cleaned, flowers on Mother's Day would be heresy and she would be considered a heretic. There were words for unmarried women, like spinsters, matrons, or prostitutes and all were said with shame and sinister rumblings. Little girls were trained to be Mommy's and little boys were taught they could be anything they wished as long as it was not a sissy, queer or feminine. If girls demonstrated a penchant to sports, other then cheer leading, or boys would rather have cooked or bird watched, there was great fear that the gender bending would happen and not only would there be a less strong America, God would come back to earth earlier than expected and civilization as we knew it would end.

Based on religious leaders, fearful of the power of choice, based on the philosophy that everything is black and white stay within the lines theory of the 50's, the telling of tales that if a man is not a man and a woman is not a woman playing by the rules set by stoic older white males, your family will become an extension of Hell, and based on nothing but fiction, fable and fear, staying in the closet, self loathing, and never coming out reigned supreme.

Once this nation stood up to the Communist under every bed, are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party, and embraced the 60's many an intuitive, intelligent and educated American stopped buying the bogus and the boogie man and thought change is good. Change based on truth makes sense and frees us to move forward and not backwards.

And bravely, boldly America fought fear, faced the future on truth and began to ask for fact ignoring fiction. Then 2010 happened and fact no longer prevailed, honest was pushed aside for lies, and FEAR made a triumphant return in the guise of the Tea Bag/Republican Party. For some deranged reason, it no longer mattered on real, just the perception of reality. And the reality was fabricated and fomented from hate, distrust and FEAR.

For every step forward, we as Americans have made in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, suddenly in 2010, all bets were called off and we have returned to the smothering blanket of the 1950's. Suddenly we care less about freedoms and more about scaring the shit out any person willing to let others think for them.

I don't want to try the 1950's over again for the first time...EVER!

when is enough

Every now and then enough seems to be enough and I am tired of having to defend equality, freedom and justice. I get tired of listening to a debate generated by people who base fact on bigotry, reason on religious irrationality, and find fortitude in fear and the mongering of fear. I am tired of having to defend, explain, complain, try to understand why in this country my rights as a Gay man are still an issue and why separate but equal even arise as a question.

I get outraged to think that often multiple married men and women, adulterers, those who practice infidelity, seem to think that their insincerity, their lack of commitment, their selfish behavior does not discount the structure of the institution of marriage and only me being a Gay person has the strength to devalue, devastate and destroy heterosexual marriages. I am angered when a heterosexual mom or dad, abuse their kids, ignore their kids, refuse to pay child support or divorce themselves from their kids, only to be preached at that Gays are poor role models let alone fit to be parents or to adopt.

I am disappointed that religious leaders, without any grace for God, decide to recite selected passages from their Bible siting Gays as the malaise of the modern world and ignore the real issues of existence, like hunger, poverty, quality of life, equality and fairness. And I am so tired of politicians ignoring the Constitution and replacing it with a bigots version of the Bible.

I can't believe that we are still debating DOMA, we are still arguing if Gays should be parents, if bullying of Gay kids is a right or a wrong. I can't believe that we are still permitting the ignorant,uneducated, biased and bigoted to control the debate and even holding a debate on the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness of Americans who happen to be Gay.

We have elected some dumb people to office in this nation. They promised to cut back government involvement in our lives and to create jobs. So far all they have been able to do is create a more intrusive government, create a we vs they, and have decided that creating hate is more important then creating jobs. And for all those who don't happen to be Gay and think this battle is not theirs better pay better attention because women, elderly, disabled, poor and most non Evangelical Christians are on the "to hate" list.

Every now and then I can't take reading one more story about homophobia without ever finding any reason or rational for the hate. Every now and then when I think it might get better, we take five steps back and suddenly we as Americans are so unrecognizable and scary. Every now and then I get even sicker to my stomach thinking that this even has to be discussed. When is enough finally enough?

Rena

My mother was always the one to provide a reason why, a strong hug, encouragement and never a judgement but a story to aid in the trials and tribulations her children found themselves either drowning in or delighting with. As far as I was concerned she invented strong and thrived on secure and sensitive. My mother, I thought was invincible and it was inconceivable to even consider this world without her.

We lived in a very modest row house all six of us, three sisters, me and my parents, living on a very modest policeman's income, but there was hardly a night when dinner did not include a friend or two, relatives and someone from out of town who heard that Rena Buncher was the best cook and baker in Pittsburgh and had to come by and say hello. My Mother a child of the depression, never wanted anyone to go hungry and she had cans of this and that, chicken, and beef in the second hand freezer and plenty of fruits and vegetables to serve crowds and crowds of people so no one would ever go hungry. You reach out she would say and by doing so there is comfort within.

My mother would cook and bake and when we went to the Squirrel Hill Community Day picnic at Kennywood Park she would make enough fried chicken, potato salad, chocolate cake with creamy chocolate icing for her family and friends and the few dozen strays who might be at the park with no family in which to share dinner. The other neighbors from Denniston Avenue would bring the pickles, olives, salads and jello molds and wait with bated breath as my mother opened the cooler and serve her Rena's fried chicken. It was like a holiday celebration.

My Mother was a woman having kids in the decades of the forties and fifties. She lived under a very male dominated society and in doing so, was given the task of raising the kids, cleaning the house, cooking the meals and told by society that doing all of those tasks was enough, and as a woman there were no greater expectations. My Mother was an educated, smart and intelligent person, and found means to express her talents and discovered ways to permit her personality to blossom and become less confined. She was active in organizations that provided assistance to the blind, the poor. She joined the Women's Auxiliary of the Fraternal Order of Police after she heard that anti-Semitic rhetoric was being spewed by some ignorant and misinformed women. She became the President of that group and in doing so led by example, never lecturing and had many a woman who never met a Jew, begin to see that Jews were no different then they.

My Mother believed that what you do, how you do it and believing in what you do is a common denominator in communicating to people. If you are honest, real, genuine and never pretend to be someone you are not others who share the same qualities as you will find you embrace you and respect you.

She was the backbone, the spirit, the conscience, the heart and soul of the lives of our family.

My Mother lived to be 91 years old. She was not going to die and no matter what ailment afflicted her, she mad a miraculous comeback and was ready for the next day, month, year. Her energy to live was something to envy. She was also one with insight, and the day of her death, told my sisters, I am ready, this is okay.

I never could bring myself to think of my life on this Earth without my Mother. Like wondering about the size of the universe, or who created God just thinking about the death of my Mother was overwhelming and hard. Those were matters that were unfathomable.

I am a man of 61 and still miss my Mother and wonder how I have survived without her a plane flight away a telephone call away. I know, that as long as I remember her and have a place for her in my heart she is alive.

I wrote a birthday card for my Mother which said:

So many reasons to say how much you have meant to me.

So many ways to express my gratitude for your love and care.

So many times to remember the lessons learned.

Just so much!

So many moments of fond memories, each forming stories with great expectations and excitement.

So many tears and smiles, enough to spread around he world.

So many pictures to place in the photo album of my mind, recalling and recollecting events which seem special only because of you.

Just so much.

So much of my because of you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mummy I love you, now and forever.

a plea to mothers

Today, I have a plea for all mothers who will be celebrated during Mother's Day, all mothers who should be celebrated for Mother's day, and any woman lucky enough to have given birth and brought a new life to this Earth. Today I have a plea for any woman who is called Mom, Madre, Ema, Mum, Mummy, Ma and who is loved and respected by those in her life. Today I have a plea for those females who went through labor, who realized that inside their bodies was a being hoping to attain equality, freedom and liberty. Today I have a plea for any women who from their children's first breath, swore that every breath after would be easier and deeper.

On Sunday, May 8, 2011 many an American will honor, respect and acknowledge their mothers. They will quietly or loudly let their mothers know just how important, invested and interested they have been in the lives of their offspring, and how the simplest to the most complicated machinations made, made a difference in the lives of their kids. And most to many a Mom will be deserving of all those accolades.

But in America of 2011, there suddenly seems to be a shift in the minds and hearts of some very loud and loose Americans that not ALL the children of the mothers to be celebrated on Mother's Day deserve the same honor and respect so stated in our Constitution. For some Americans in 2011 there seems to be a division based on gender, economics and sexual orientation that discriminates in a biased and bigoted way whose children of the mothers to be honored on Mother's Day deserve freedoms and equality and whose DON'T!

If your child is a Gay man or a Lesbian, if she is a woman raped, sexually abused, ill educated about intercourse, living in poverty, to mention a few there are many in this nation of ours who have decided that those people those kids, those offspring all born from mothers need not apply to the slogan "...life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". If your child happens to be of color, a non-evangelical Christian then he or she should not be considered anything but sub standard.

My plea for mothers is to, in turn on the day they are so well received by their loved ones, shout out loud and clear that this nation is based on fair and equal, that all children deserve to live under the same laws, and as mothers bringing life into this world means providing a life of justice, conscience and love for all.

Imagine how impressive it would be for ALL mothers on Mother's Day to shout hate has no place in this nation, ever. For ALL mothers to find commonality and remove doubt and fear.

mothers day

Last night House Republicans voted in favor of an appalling piece of anti-choice legislation that could force victims of rape and incest to relive their trauma during an IRS audit and deny millions of American women access to life-saving reproductive health care.

Their assault on women has nothing to do with saving money and everything to do with forcing extremist beliefs into the tax code of the United States of America. And they didn't stop there. They used the occasion to sneak in a provision restricting the definition of rape to deny victims access to reproductive health care -- even after they claimed to have removed the language in the face of overwhelming public opposition.

Mother's Day is just around the corner, millions of people in this nation will write a card, buy flowers, make reservations, buy cheap perfume, make dinner or spend a quiet afternoon with their Mom. They will remind their mothers of how much love is gathered and garnered, collected and shared for a woman who has done so much for their lives. There will be a demonstration of respect, reverence and reserve for this female and stories told about how wonderful she is. Some will recount of the bravery, dedication, energy, or direction each mother had demonstrated in the life of her children. She will be respected as a unique and one of a kind person, one of a kind woman one of a kind female.

But after the Hallmark cards are delivered, the florist has brought the bouquets, the restaurant bill has been paid, according to those who hate women, who still consider them chattel, who quote verse and scripture denying women any real rights, the Republican/Baggers who use religion to hate and the Constitution as a weapon, and their own male insecurities as reason will once again pursue their policy of separate but not equal. They will pursue the low road of not granting women access to health care, family planning and a lack of respect for women to have power over their own reproduction rights.

We all have mothers, we all know sisters, aunts, nieces and girls. We all work with, live next to, share secrets, laugh and cry with women. And suddenly there is a hue and cry from the Republican/Baggers that women are not smart enough to understand their bodies, not smart enough to know what really causes rape, and not smart enough to make any choice that a man first has agreed to.

Is this the way we should celebrate Mother's Day 2011? If not maybe its time to fight back hard and fast and say enough is quite enough so our mothers really see how much we love them.

america of americans

We were elated, many of us in our own manner and acting out our own machinations, at the news that a villain who destroyed the lives, livelihood and loves of Americans was captured and killed. For some, his quick execution was like an elixir and dancing in the streets, shooting pistols and spontaneous spasms of the singing of the national anthem were witnessed and worn. For some a moment of silence and remembrance of those we lost was embraced and for some, reflection of an unimaginable instance enveloped us and smothered our emotions and once again we took pause.

Whether we were right, correct or morally moved, dismayed, desensitized or delayed in understanding what just happened, most of us found the time to think aloud, in a group as a collective and look at our history and either in awe, angst or anger stopped and shared this America with Americans. We faced a past living in the present and for a brief moment found our future solid and sure.

And then that moment passed and some of us found our boulevards traveling to the far right or the remote left, replacing respect with revenge, fortitude with frenzied xenophobia, collective with more for me and less for you, and united with if they are not like us they are not one of us. And we were no longer Americans celebrating America, but enemies finding dissent and disarray as the definition of democracy and decency.

In a country as great as ours defined by a people who have the will to keep it great, somehow we seem to ignore what it is we have in common and harp on why we must be different. We use the crutches of religious zealots insatiable appetite to blame, the lack of self realization, the fear of others greatness as our reason for mediocre, and ignorance of fact to fan the flames of hate bias and bigotry. We relish the irrationality of lies to justify our own insecurities and never want to own up to our own responsibility for change...change inclusive of all.

We have moments in the history of this nation where we can state the time, day, weather, and location of where we were, what we felt and what we shared when crisis, chaos, joy or jubilation overcame most of us and embedded itself in a permanent psyche of all Americans. They were defining moments not only on a personal level but in such greatness as to provide a commonality for rich/poor, white/black, gay/straight, Republican/Democrat, religious/atheist, man/woman, corporation/union. And when we sang the Star Spangled Banner or God Bless America we shouted the lyrics to include ALL of us.

How does it happen that we can grasp at the fabric that makes America great and just as quickly let it slip from our hands and become void of our hearts? How does it happen we can be great, great enough for all of us to grow, and then suddenly become so lost in selfishness we are diminished in soul and conscience?

We have seen how we behave as Americans with one voice and how we behave when no one wants to listen to anyone else's voice. We have done it and know it is easier to try and oh so difficult not to.

enough said

Almost 50 years ago my father, as a policeman in the city of Pittsburgh, decided that too many cops were being shot at, wounded or ending up in the hospital. He had many comrades, friends and peers who in the line of duty found them selves needing blood transfusions and donations of blood to help them heal from receiving injuries in the line of duty.

No one seemed to care about the policeman after he saved the day, yeah there was lots of bragging about the bravery and boldness of Pittsburgh's finest before they entered the line of fire, but little bravura after they suffered the consequences of placing their life on the line.

My dad decided that too many police were suffering from needing blood donations and not having the means to afford them and many times were left suffering or left responsible to pay the bills to pay for the blood. So he, with a help a few bold men fought for and founded the Pittsburgh Police Blood Bank. This agency would be the first line of defense for injured police in the line of duty to receive blood without the worry of paying for it or having to wait their turn. My dad was hailed as a hero by his fellow police officers of Pittsburgh and insisted he did the deed because it mattered.

When I was fifteen years old, the city of Pittsburgh finally found the resolve to acknowledge the hard work of its first responders. The politicians realized that there were people, real people behind the uniforms of its men in blue and maybe it would be good to say thank you. The current President of the Fraternal Order of Police was recognized and honored. He was also congratulated for his foresight in starting a blood bank for the police. When I heard this I was appalled, I was furious, I was pissed. "Dad, I said, you were the one who created this, you started this, you deserve the honor."

Throughout my life my dad encouraged my accomplishments. He would speak proudly of the horizons I climbed and the advances I made both large and small. But he insisted that what we do is done because we felt it was right and it never mattered how many people knew it and bragging about it lessened the pure reasons of what we attempted and tried. My dad insisted that those who need 'kovet' (honor), need it because they really never finished the task they began and they began the task only to fill the lack of self they suffered from. He said when you do right, you did right and any righteousness from that act will fulfill you more then applause, acknowledgement, or accord.

President Obama with the assistance of a team of men and women who decided that it was time to take control of our destiny accomplished a daring and dangerous mission and destroyed the life of a man who cared less for the lives of others. This President went beyond the rhetoric and romance of promising action and instead did the deed. And humbly and honestly spoke of the act and did not ask for much more.

But in the wake of this heroic act, those of the Bush/Cheney Republican clan of hate mongers, liars and fabricators now are claiming a piece of the "I did it pie". I am the one deserving of the honor and hubris's, pick me, pick me. Eight years of Bush and eight years of terrorism and the man behind our fears still alive.

In my father's words, if you did the deed and it was successful then enough said. If you wish the deed and never try just shut up!

again and again

Moments that make America one. Moments when bravery can boldly stand tall and remove doubt or despair. Moments when we are one with a cause and concern that is collective. Moments like the announcement of the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2011.

Spontaneous singing of the Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, of chanting life liberty and the pursuit of happiness for everyone...EVERYONE living in America erupting all over this country. Spontaneous groups of people joining together to announce out loud a release of anxiety, angst and anger that took almost ten years to cling to their souls. Spontaneous crowds of strangers reaching out to one another finding commonality and care identifying each other as friend.

In the midst of division, deceit, fiction and falsehoods, in the hue and cry of difference is bad, we vs they, my way or the highway, in the firestorm of fear and phony for moments on Sunday, May 1, 2011, there was no one as the enemy, no one as the problem, no one to blame, but EVERYONE to hug, hold, and holler stating how great a country in which we live.

In our recent history we have found more reasons to hate, to remove, reject, to ridicule. We have, in our recent history looked for losers act like lemmings, lie and never let self appointed others to be a part of our lives. Recently we never felt it necessary to find strength in inclusion, but enjoyed being exclusive.

I hope we as Americans can begin the process of healing, helping, and harken this pride this jubilation, this joy we felt on May 1, 2011 and begin again, become one America again, and again and again.