Rena

My mother was always the one to provide a reason why, a strong hug, encouragement and never a judgement but a story to aid in the trials and tribulations her children found themselves either drowning in or delighting with. As far as I was concerned she invented strong and thrived on secure and sensitive. My mother, I thought was invincible and it was inconceivable to even consider this world without her.

We lived in a very modest row house all six of us, three sisters, me and my parents, living on a very modest policeman's income, but there was hardly a night when dinner did not include a friend or two, relatives and someone from out of town who heard that Rena Buncher was the best cook and baker in Pittsburgh and had to come by and say hello. My Mother a child of the depression, never wanted anyone to go hungry and she had cans of this and that, chicken, and beef in the second hand freezer and plenty of fruits and vegetables to serve crowds and crowds of people so no one would ever go hungry. You reach out she would say and by doing so there is comfort within.

My mother would cook and bake and when we went to the Squirrel Hill Community Day picnic at Kennywood Park she would make enough fried chicken, potato salad, chocolate cake with creamy chocolate icing for her family and friends and the few dozen strays who might be at the park with no family in which to share dinner. The other neighbors from Denniston Avenue would bring the pickles, olives, salads and jello molds and wait with bated breath as my mother opened the cooler and serve her Rena's fried chicken. It was like a holiday celebration.

My Mother was a woman having kids in the decades of the forties and fifties. She lived under a very male dominated society and in doing so, was given the task of raising the kids, cleaning the house, cooking the meals and told by society that doing all of those tasks was enough, and as a woman there were no greater expectations. My Mother was an educated, smart and intelligent person, and found means to express her talents and discovered ways to permit her personality to blossom and become less confined. She was active in organizations that provided assistance to the blind, the poor. She joined the Women's Auxiliary of the Fraternal Order of Police after she heard that anti-Semitic rhetoric was being spewed by some ignorant and misinformed women. She became the President of that group and in doing so led by example, never lecturing and had many a woman who never met a Jew, begin to see that Jews were no different then they.

My Mother believed that what you do, how you do it and believing in what you do is a common denominator in communicating to people. If you are honest, real, genuine and never pretend to be someone you are not others who share the same qualities as you will find you embrace you and respect you.

She was the backbone, the spirit, the conscience, the heart and soul of the lives of our family.

My Mother lived to be 91 years old. She was not going to die and no matter what ailment afflicted her, she mad a miraculous comeback and was ready for the next day, month, year. Her energy to live was something to envy. She was also one with insight, and the day of her death, told my sisters, I am ready, this is okay.

I never could bring myself to think of my life on this Earth without my Mother. Like wondering about the size of the universe, or who created God just thinking about the death of my Mother was overwhelming and hard. Those were matters that were unfathomable.

I am a man of 61 and still miss my Mother and wonder how I have survived without her a plane flight away a telephone call away. I know, that as long as I remember her and have a place for her in my heart she is alive.

I wrote a birthday card for my Mother which said:

So many reasons to say how much you have meant to me.

So many ways to express my gratitude for your love and care.

So many times to remember the lessons learned.

Just so much!

So many moments of fond memories, each forming stories with great expectations and excitement.

So many tears and smiles, enough to spread around he world.

So many pictures to place in the photo album of my mind, recalling and recollecting events which seem special only because of you.

Just so much.

So much of my because of you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mummy I love you, now and forever.