This December 15th the next three ring circus is about to open its tent again, and something pretending to be a Republican debate but in reality looking like a rerun from some Twilight Zone television show will appear. As is typical for this rating’s grabber the ads look like marketing material with photo-shopped head shots and the stars last name in bright gold lettering beneath. (Interesting that CNN wants these illusionist candidates to only use only one name like Cher, Madonna, Beyonce). These larger then life photos look like a list of mug shots of America’s most repulsive politicians. The candidates will be lined up on stage in order of the base Republicans bad taste in popularity all demanding “I am ready for my closeup Mr DeMille”. Wonder what what the line-up might look like if it was based on either the truth factor or intelligence? The actors will pretend everything they say is spontaneous as if they WERE free spirits, but indeed every single comment, spittle and pause is and was scripted for them.
The journalists (the name we now give entertainers who would rather make news then report it) will pretend to be professional but they too know this debate IS more about ratings and sound bytes. In the old days when someone helped anyone with an addiction rather then aiding them to quit they were known as enablers, now they are the “fair and balanced”, “the most trusted name in news” “first in business world wide” or “see the whole picture”. These moderators (big word for men and women who look like a cop trying to direct traffic on one Beijing’s 12 lane freeways), will try their method acting tricks of trying to look important but will be buffered by the bluff, blunder and buffoonery of second rate politicians. A rabid group of attendees begging for bigotry, bleeding for bias and fantasying for fear,will hiss and boo any of the republican Christian Crusaders who stray from deny, destroy, diminish and will most likely this time around throw stale peta bread at the moderators who might try to find the truth. When this fiasco is over the pundents will pulsate identifying who the Biggest Loser Is, the talking heads will explode as they cover up the ,lies,tell a few of their own lies or try to pretend anyone on dais made sense of anything. we will will laugh, we will cry, we will tune into You Tube we will be warned and as the tent is tucked away we will just wonder what the hell happened.
But I do have an idea for the next so called debate, make it a Quiz Show. Let the candidates guess at multiple choice questions, or true and false questions. Base the entire format on questions a 9th grader might be asked on his/her final US History and Civics exam. Take verses from some of our amendments and ask which number amendment does this statement belong. Take a few Supreme Court rulings and ask them what was name of this ruling? Do a speed round ask them some number questions like how many Americans died after we announced victory in Korea, Viet Nam, Iraq, Afghanistan? Or how many voters actually were guilty of fraud? Then for the big finale, we all love to see finalists sweat it out for the big money, ask these candidates the very same questions we ask of people who wish to become naturalized citizens. The winner can either donate his pot of money to a lobbyist group who in turn will buy them his/her vote, to Halliburton so just in case we go to war they are taken care of, or for a rocket ship ready to jet them to another planet when this one dies.
