I did not lose family or friends during the ACTS OF TERRORISM, on 9/11. I still grieved. I was astounded, shocked, and torn inside out during the initial hours of the unfolding events on 9/11 feeling lost, fearful, confused, worried, and horrified. I remember the fright of thinking this is Doomsday; the end of any security has arrived!
I was living in Newport Beach CA, with no family members around, my best friends seemed too far away, and I wondered what happens next, what happens when actual war will break out. Am I brave enough to act instead of reacting? Am I now only going to be on the defense weakened by fear and lack of information, or might I actually be nimble enough to take the offense, despite the media almost shutting down, leaving me with more unanswered questions than answers! I was the Executive Director of the Orange County JCC, and my immediate responsibility was to the members of my JCC, and even as my angst grew faster and quicker with each passing fact of death and destruction, I had to make sure those in my care were taken care of. (No hero I, but at least the ability to take care of others made me feel I still had some control of my life)
Finally, at home, my drapery shut, door double bolted, thinking some invading force might enter my apartment complex, candles at the ready, CNN tuned into on the TV set in my living room, CBS blaring on the TV set in my bedroom, (wishing Walter Cronkite was alive and explaining to me what ACTUALLY was happening), I sat. Every single END OF THE WORLD movie I had ever watched came rushing into my brain as if a tornado had landed, and I remember running to my kitchen to check for food, thinking what if the Invasion is here. I, like a madman, found every possible container to hold water, wondering if eventually that source of life would also be attacked. I had a Nokia Cell phone, provided to me as the Executive Director, and way back when, I still remembered the phone numbers of my family and friends. For some minutes the phone connected other moments nothing. My landline was a gold mine, I spoke to the people I loved.
Until our present-day morphs into HISTORY, and we then can reflect upon its myriad of machinations, the moment's inch by and hours seem like years and the days an eternity. I have to wonder, what exactly has been learned from 9/11. I worry that those who refuse to acknowledge history as a Book of Knowledge, who instead just see it as Propaganda, will willfully choose ignorance as a guide, leading us to repeat and repeat and repeat!
