Let's Make a Deal

It was a day off from work the other day and I was killing time lying in bed. I had not watched day time television for quite a long time with the exception of the early morning news (which in itself is like fantasyland at Disneyland with blond bimbo weather ‘girls’, overly tanned and tucked news anchors, and screaming hissy fit sportscasters, not once reporting any news of concern, but inflating stories and inventing facts), and decided to indulge in daytime delights.

I tuned into “Let’s Make A Deal”, a quiz show TV program I had grown up to as a kid. I knew Monty Hall the original MC of that show would not be hosting, but thought the premise of the series would most likely remain the same. Indeed I was correct. The audience still dressed up in moldy Halloween costumes, the screaming and shouting to ‘pick me’ was still as vibrant as ever, and the promise that this one time chance to win a prize would change a life was still prominent and predictable. Almost all contestants had to choose a box or a curtain. Boxes were wrapped in shiny ribbon; curtains were engulfed in Mylar and silver streamers. It was all about the wrapping, trapping and hope that good things come in small packages or better things come in something bigger.

Sense and sensibility were replaced by greed and gluttony, smart and thoughtful was squeezed out by right now and immediate. As the old adage of “a bird in the hand is better than two in a bush”, ringed true, few would settle with the sure thing of $500, and instead would bargain it way for the chance of a car behind the curtain. Edged on by the majority of the prize struck audience most contestants declined the cash, and traded the dollars for something promised but not yet realized. Even when the contestant before them said no the ‘Benjamin’s”, and got a ZONKER as a prize, the next person repeated the same actions and usually failed.

After a half hour of this, I decided that my brain might die by this inane chicanery (I was actually yelling at the contestants, shouting epitaphs of ‘stupid’, ‘selfish’, ‘didn’t you see what happened to the person before you’) and thought wait maybe I should channel my frustration and demonstrate this indignation for news on MSNBC and FOX News. Maybe I should holler and shout at the people whose actions really do affect me, my future and the “children’ they so fondly say they want to protect.

AND THEN, like a whack on the side of the head I had a realization of the way of the world, at least the American part of the world, why and how we as a nation have slipped into the Twilight Zone community of people like Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, John Boehner Mitch McConnell, and the Tea Bag Brigade. It is about the façade, the wrapping, the line, the lie, the perhaps, the sham, the promise that if you promote a shiny curtain, a big box, talk about what others hope will happen, never promise it will happen, then the contestant, the citizen will return the sure thing, and wait with baited breath for the bogus prize. Never deliver it (the prize), but promote the promise and just around the corner, or the corner after that or the corner after that, it might, may arrive. And if it does not arrive then too bad because no one ever really said it would.

Just say no now, and convince those who know no better that yes awaits them later. Hold back with the bird in hand because eventfully the birds in the bush have to fly down to earth. Suggest that something is coming, so detour the immediate, the eventual and replace it with perhaps and maybe. Never tell them to read the fine print, just eliminate any truth in advertising at all. Swell their heads with fantasy, make them think you know what they want and need, and pick their pockets leaving them high and dry. Ah yes a sucker is born every minute!

Let’s Make a Deal sponsored by the Republican/Tea Bag political party. Let’s promise the world, one for you three for us. Let’s promote the injustices in your life as we take advantage of your fears and prejudices to promote our political careers. Let’s promenade the differences and never showcase the similarities. Let’s dangle the carrot as you salivate with promise that the 4 course meal is being cooked, just dribble and drool, starve while WE eat.

Who knew daytime television would be so insightful. Who’d have thunk a large segment of the American population would find themselves audience members hoping to quickly, easily, without any effort or work on their part, wanting to win a prize. They deserve it, no questions asked or no questions answered. And if this concept of politics is successful as it is trending to be in November of 2010, this TV series could run for a long, long time.

Let’s Make a Deal, with your life, liberties and future. A win lose for many but a win-win for the few smart enough to be wiser than the dumb.