easy as pie

I remember in the late 50's when my grandmother would take my little sister and myself downtown to meet my aunt. We rode the streetcar from Forbes Avenue and Denniston, paid the fare and for the next half hour would ride the rails traveling from Squirrel Hill to Downtown Pittsburgh. My grandmother was not a fan of mass transit and more so not a fan of anyone looking at my sister, me or my grandmother as we made our way to town. Once we got past the boundaries of Squirrel Hill and entered another neighborhood, my grandmother would whisper to us that we are no longer among our 'luntzmen' (brothers and sisters, comrades), but with the Goyum and the Goyum don't like Jews, so be careful.

I was about 9 and my little sister about 7 and we had no idea what my grandmother meant, but we sort of knew that it was okay to be Jewish in Squirrel Hill, but not so cool anywhere else. We, many times had this idea that riding the street car would take us to a great place, but the passengers with whom we shared the ride did not like us, just because we were Jewish.

When I was very young I remember my parents not understanding why someone Jewish would want to move to suburbs of Pittsburgh called Upper Saint Claire and Mt Lebanon. I remember at the Saturday night family poker games the relatives would all pooh, pooh and complain about how those neighborhoods still had deed restrictions not permitting Jews, Colored and Catholics from living on certain streets. I remember how my relatives wondered why any Jew would even consider moving anywhere he/she was not welcome.

I remember being in college, my Freshman year, sitting in a large auditorium waiting to start my Psyche 101 course when two kids I had just met that semester were all angry and pissed off. They had just come from the used book shop and purchased their Psychology Book. One said can you believe that guy, Mr. Goldberg, what a schmuck, he knew that the book was not worth $25, but he continued to "Jew me down" anyway. I was puzzled, "Jew you down what is that, you mean he was a Jewish guy with his last name being Goldberg." "I mean Jew me down as a cheap Jew, like all Jews are!"

I remember never understanding why anyone would hate me just because I was Jewish. I remember wondering where all that vitriol and venom had erupted or formed. All the talk about hate, or dislike or lies about who I was supposed to be because I was Jewish resonated without any reason for me. I remember being pissed that people thought they could deny me any rights, in this country just because I was Jewish. I remember when some of that bias and bigotry did cause me some second guessing and some self doubting. And then I remember saying fuck you, you don't know me and if you think that way you never will get the chance to know the truth.

Today, Saturday, June 11, is the official kickoff of Gay Pride in Los Angeles. Today and tomorrow there will be many festivities in which the LGBT community, their families and friends can say I am who I am and I like it. Today and tomorrow are two days in which the rainbow flag will fly high, drag queens to leather men, athletes to actors, average to sexy and hot men and women can share the limelight and no ones follow spot will be greater than anyone else's.

But even as LA celebrates Pride, there are religious leaders who still preach gay men and women are an abomination of the Lord, politicians who still believe equal but separate is a fine way to interpret the Constitution, television and radio entertainers who think using Fag, Queer, Sissy is funny and not harmful at all, moms and dads who would rather kick their children out of their homes than embrace the beauty of their children, and people who don't want the Gays to live in their neighborhoods, attend their schools or churches, are carriers of disease, are nothing but pure evil.

I remember when I discovered I was Jewish and then learned how many people hated me for being something so simple as a Jew. I remember when I was finally brave enough to come out as a Gay man and learned how many people hated me for something as simple as being Gay. I remember how easy it was to love myself or whom I happen to be and how hard it seems for others to hate anyone who isn't them.

I just wonder when we no longer need to hold Gay Pride, Black History Month, Puerto Rican Parades, Jewish Day Parades and just realize how special we all can be because we all have so much in common and what we don't have in common the rest of us can learn from and experience.

For those of us who actually believe in God or a higher power or an energy bigger than us this should be as easy as pie.