Horror movies, the real scary kind where the director lets you peek at the monster, not a clear shot, but enough of an outline to get an idea of what is waiting for you. The kind of horror movies where you end up in a house with a bunch of friends because it seems to be the safest place to hide from the horrendous and calculated mayhem and murder only a very evil monster can provide. Horror movies where lurking outside that farm house you just entered, is a beast an inhuman creature with billowing howls or promises of trust me as he has his fangs ready to bite, or the kind of maniac that can change his shape to become one thing and then immediately another, so you never know what will get you. Horror movies where you are on some bumpkin back road with nothing but corn stalks creating mazes but most likely just an excuse to keep the home owner from the real world. Horror movies where there are at least four people running into that creepy house slamming the door as we see the shadowy thing lurking in the mist.Horror movies where one person swears run into the attic will keep you safe, when another person shouts to the dank dark basement or finally one off the group demands you hide in that room in the corner of the house the one with no lights and only one door. Since there are four of you and three choices the fourth person in the party must choose where to run and which space to claim a sense of hope. A horror movie whose location is a house with four people who must immediately caucus to decide their fate in some sullen sad village, perhaps located in Iowa!
A horror movie the Iowa Republican Caucus a carnival for those who fear who seek refuge from an imaginary world in which to hate but real monsters from which they should feel fear. Pick the attic to run away from the billowing monster Donald Trump. Nothing can go wrong in an attic with boxes, closets, cobwebs and clutter and clowns with golden complexions hair so hideous you want to pee your pants when seeing it. No, choose the dark basement, go to the area where the coal cellar used to be or tool shed with rusted tools all sharp. Nothing can go wrong waiting in the pit of the house for cunning con artist of a monster who pleads you should trust him knowing full well he wouldn’t trust himself, Ted Cruz! Wait take that far away room in the corner of the house so tucked away that even finding it is difficult. If you can hardly find that room how will the shape-shifting monster get in and if he does how will you know he is one of you or really isn’t, Marco Rubio!
Three choices to hide, to pretend all be well if you choose a room in the house, but then in every movie there is the really smart person. He/she understands that the bluster, the blood, the curdling screams off terror are usually confined to the house and that the monster planned the whole trap. This hero gets it, don’t play the monsters game choose something else, not the attic, the basement, the isolated room, take your chances run outside away from the house and then make your choice. You don’t have to select Trump, Cruz, or Rubio and in doing so you might actually get to live another day!
