When I became 13, in the Jewish tradition, I was suddenly a man. For my family this meant that I had an obligation to attend then funerals of some people who were called cousins, but many I had never met. My Grandma Braff was the Matriarch of the Romanian side of the family and she believed that it was a necessary obligation to attend a funeral of a family member, but once at the funeral she also had certain ideas as to how we would respect and accept the death of that relative. By the time i was 13 Grandma Braff seemed old to me, it is amazing for me how suddenly I began to notice that the people in my life somehow or other became old. In her later years Grandma Braff stopped carrying about what the world expected and instead became a bit more concerned about setting thing straight. I remember, it was December, I became a Bar Mitzvah in October, when a cousin hannah had passed away. My Grandma Braff used the term passed away, as she believed the dead did indeed pass and for some of her relatives as far away as they could go was much better for the living. We had a cousin Hannah, in my family the generation of cousins my mothers age all seemed to be named Hannah. This was my first funeral as a so called man and my Grandma Braff wanted to show me the ropes. The coffin of cousin Hannah was an open casket, something I had not expected to see. My Grandma took me by the hand and said as the next man in the family I should understand a few details about the dead. Grandma Braff walked me over to the open casket and said look at her so you remember, you may not have known her but you should remember. I peeked with one eye as this dead person scared me. Then my Grandma got serious. She said because someone dies does make them a martyr, as a matter of fact you should feel a bit sad they are no longer among the living, but perhaps being dead for certain people is NOT that awful either. Cousin Hannah was an instigator, a liar, a conniver and a thief. She was poison and tried to make other peoples live as miserable as her own. her family grieves for her but in reality they know how much better off they are because she can do no ore harm. Grandma Braff looked at me and finished her lecture by adding, most people live, hopefully to bring hope and help into the lives of others, but now and again God plays a trick and and permits some people to do nothing but make life miserable. God respects those of us who discover the difference between his creations of hope and his manifestations of hate. I do not hate cousin Hannah, but she was full of hate. I am sorry she died but glad we no longer must pretend her life was worthwhile. My Grandma Braff then turned me around and said go over to her family say how sorry you are for Hannah’s death, but know it is the best thing for the rest of us.
Anton Scalia has passed away. I am a gay man who happens to have women in my life as well as people of color. I believe that the Constitution states clearly of an intentional divide between Church and State. I believe that all of us are equal and that the Constitution is the base for democracy but a livable direction which intended to understand the needs, wants and obligations of the future. I will turn around and look at Justice Scalia’s family and send my condolences, which of course they will never hear, and then I will say this man was not a good guy, and perhaps with his death equality, freedom and justice for all Americans can thrive. I am not sure how to feel when someone dies who I know of, but I do know how to feel when that person while alive had no respect for my life. Anton Scalia is dead, sad but now perhaps liberty and the pursuit of happiness has more of a chance to survive!
