Dear Teddy, Oops, I apologize perhaps I should refer to you as your father prefers Dear Prophet Cruz. (I am not Jewish, but I am always curious why the Jesus you say you believe in always makes house calls to some of the most bigoted idiots, like Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry and of course the best pay to pray shyster Pat Robertson?) But Prophet Ted, Oops I have done it again your birth name Is Raphael named after your Pro Castro supporter Dad, did your parents decide just calling you Ted would make you seem more Canadian? And now that you have moved to America perhaps calling you Ted makes a lot more sense, because imagine if people referred to you as Raphael Cruz; it would almost make your name sound like the kind of Mexican rapist with huge calves who wants to take away jobs from Americans, and some of your Tea Bagging supporters might have to place your name on the deportation list. But I digress Prophet.
People say it was out of desperation, Prophet, that you selected Carly (I see imaginary Planned Parenthood videos) as your running mate. But Prophet WE all know, except for those with white hoods, inbred families, and the really stupid, that nothing you do has not been planned or calculated. After all your Dad (Raphael Senior is preparing you to lead us in the Second Coming), so I am curious what you thought having Carly (so what’s a lie anyway) Fiorina would do to help you? When I saw the two of you standing on stage together I actually asked some friends if there had ever been a sibling ticket that has tried to run for President of the United States? Looking at the two of you I noticed such similarities, your smirks are perfect to hide your clenching teeth, your teeny, tiny eyes hide the black hole of your iris’s, your phony facial expressions matched to a T, (You both have such mastery of deceit, demagoguery, and deception). And your ability to avoid facts, feign morals and pretend neither of you are hypocrites is like watching a Phd teach a class in con artistry!
I have some personal questions Prophet, which I am sure you won’t mind answering as you have often times initiated conversations about these issues with some of the demographic populations in the United States… First when you pee do you use a urinal? If you do Prophet, are you the kind of guy who looks at the wall, looks down at his penis, or do you have those roaming eyes trying to judge the size of another mans genitals compared to yours. I am pee shy Prophet so your roaming eyes would cause great consternation for me…Secondly, how do you and Heidi have sex and where do you have sex? Is it kinky, is it missionary, is it doggy style (You seem to be fascinated with Gay sex, so I just want to know about your straight sex), and oh by the way didn’t Jesus say something about multiplying (you know something you insist the Gays can’t do) so why have you let down Jesus by only having two kids…Thirdly Prophet how come your little lady, the (rib from Adam) works? Aren’t men to be masters of the house? Isn’t there some shame that your Gal made more money then you (are you certain you have read your Bible). Donald wants to make America better or whiter I am not sure which word he prefers, and you want to make America an open cesspool of hate, hypocrisy, divide and nothing at all as the Founders wished. Cruz/Fiorina I know a slogan we can kill America, Together!
