As a student at the Linden Elementary School in Pittsburgh during the black and white everything fits into a pattern, change is scary, days of the 50’s, if you were in grades K to 6, Valentines Day it meant preparing a colorful Valentines Box to bring to homeroom, purchasing enough Valentines for your entire classroom and perhaps a special Valentines card for the teacher and in my circumstance some home made goodies fresh from my mothers kitchen. (No one baked like my mother)
It was a ritual at Linden Elementary School that all holidays, National, Christian, almost religious (Hanukah made the list, but there was no Kwanza), are celebrated and participation was required for all the students. It was the American way in the 50’s to be a part of the bigger picture even if your ethnicity, beliefs, religiosity, family values said I really don’t want to do this as it goes against everything I stand for stood in the way. The bulletin boards were decorated in red for the month of February and stayed that color until the green tissue paper for St. Patrick’s Day was unfurled and ready to hang.
We were told by our principal Miss Paterson, a very demon like character at about 6’2 and very much overweight with very wiggly triceps that waved like a flag in the wind when she threw a hissy fit, that we are family at Linden, and what is good for one is good for all and she would be the person who would define what it was that was GOOD.
However, once a student reached the big boy and girl grades of 7th and 8th (Linden was one of the few schools that had a K-8th curriculum) to prepare us for the cold calloused world of teenage life, Valentines day was still observed but the mandatory cards for all were replaced with bring in cards for those you desire to send them to. This grownup feature created two definite actions. The first was it presented itself as to who was popular and who was not. Who during all those formative years were patronized with cards never really intended to convey real care, and in the case of the boys in the class who might really be QUEER (in the 50’s the LGBT community were not happy types, Gay, just strange so QUEER was the word) because in the 50’s boys DID NOT send a lot of boys Valentines cards if they even said I like you let alone I love you!
In the 50’s there was little opportunity to think outside of the box, to express your own insights to dance to a different tune. Oh, it was still America and the right to free speech was available but the consequences to do so were weighty, tenuous and very trying. If it was Valentines Day, damn it YOU WILL SEND VALENTINES CARDS.
In Maryland today, the politicians are deciding whether boys should be sending boys Valentine’s Day Cards and if girls should be sending them to girls. In the state of California, for a few sane weeks, just like the kids in K thru 6 at Linden School, everyone could send everyone, no matter their sex, same or opposite, Valentines (but like the kids in 7th and 8th grade) the voters who felt that equal does not mean for all took the away the privilege of same sex couples from sending Valentines. New York State is promising an equal trade of Valentine cards, and the bigoted self described Christians of Iowa who have Jesus confused with the Devil want to un-permit same gender Valentine cards from being exchanged again.
In the 50’s everything we were told had an order, a place a slot, a way of thinking. We were told that we won the Second World War and the Korean Conflict by following order, denying chaos, forgoing free thinking and that God would shine his smile on this country because sameness was like Godliness. We were able to grow up in teeny tiny spurts, like the kids in 7th and 8th grade, but there had to be a Principal to demonstrate what was and is good.
Then the 60’s happened upon us and suddenly growing up came fast and furious and we saw that voices of opposition, cries for change, concern for the individual were important;that we all had so much in common but the commonality was not forced rather shared.
And it seemed that this country grew and flourished gained and matured.
And now for Valentines Day 2011, it seems the freedoms to send a Valentines to anyone you desire is being restricted once again by people who fear the rights, the freedoms, the choices of individuals. It is trying to be denied to drown out personal fears, phobias and paranoia of some who are lost in life and don’t want anyone else to find their way.
The people who self victimize, who blame others for all that is wrong, who like lemmings, follow the lead of self serving cowards want boys to send girls Valentines, as long as it is the white boys sending it to white girls, Christian boys not sending it to Muslim girls, and wealthy boys ignoring sending anything to poor girls. But no matter what boys shall not send boys cards and girls will not send valentines to girls.
2011 has the smell, sound and rancor of the 50’s when authority was never questioned, love it or leave it the pursuit of happiness and the colors of red white and blue could be found and defined within the New Testament.
I never want the Valentine’s days of the 50’s to return to my life or the life of my kids or grandkids. I will send my Valentines to anyone of the opposite sex or same sex as I wish and want. I am out of Linden School.
Happy Valentines Day Joe, you are my lover and my partner, both of us have created one wonderful couple …so there Miss Patterson, so there!
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