Tuesday, May 27

My father in law was proud about his service during WWII. He was an active member in the Jewish War Vets and diligently worked to ensure that all Vets lived a quality kind of life. He would answer questions about his time in the armed services, never bragging but always boasting that he served for a nation he was proud of and with men he was even prouder to have known and with whom he fought. Listening to his stories left a very deep impact on how my actions and reactions regarding the military of this nation especially around the time I was eligible for service during the Viet Nam War. My father-in-law never preached but patiently stood in front of any audience sharing the virtues, victories, legends and lessons of pride in America and pride in service to country. 

My brother-in-law served in Viet Nam and to this day perhaps I have only heard two or three stories during his duty over there. He enlisted in the army spent three years in Viet Nam and upon his return very few words were shared with our family. When the lottery for the Draft was created my brother-in-law suggested to me that I might think of moving to Canada. Trying to engage him a little more about why and if in fact his statements had anything to with his tour of duty in Viet Nam he would only say, maybe, but now is not the time to discuss that. My brother-in-law participated in the Jewish War Veteran activities at first doing so quietly and respectfully but usually at a distance. Never a disparaging word about his service was said, neither was any encouragement of his duty to his nation.

Later, in my career I had the chance to work as a development director for an agency whose mission was to create independent living situations for people with disabilities. We had a donor who felt it was his responsibility to assist returning soldiers from both Iraq and Afghanistan to readjust to American life. In particular he wanted to have his foundation work with Troops returning with missing limbs, eyesight and traumatic injuries to the brain. I was to interview a few of the men and women and try and get a sense of what it was that they needed to at least just survive. Some were excited to share with me stories of their life prior to the wars and many were disheartened and unable to say more to me then look at me I was not this way before. Some of the returning Troops without missing a beat said I would do this again if my country needed me while others could not understand what the wars were all about.

It is Memorial Day weekend, and I am torn as to how I respect this holiday. Is it a celebration of valor, honor, mission guts and glory? And if it is how do we respect not only the men and women who have provided their own blood, sweat and tears but the purposes as to why they served. When we place flags on gravesides, listen to 21 guns or raise the flag at half mast is that enough? When we embrace the hero’s of battles do we spend enough time looking at their scars and asking for what they have done have we learned anything at all? Is this weekend all pomp and circumstance with anthems of Old Glory or should we be humming tunes of promise, prosperity and please dear God potential for peace? Is it American enough to call this a holiday to honor the dead warriors, respect the wounded but NOT state out loud when this day might be obsolete for future calendars? I have been privy to the perspectives of men and women who have fought the battles, seen the enemy, been the enemy, and I need to know that what they have  generously done is not gone and forgotten when the calendar reads Tuesday, May 27. Waving the flag does not make us Americans alone. Understanding why we wave the flag, for me is the real question begged to be answered by a day we call Memorial Day.