DEFINITION: AS·SUME: supposed to be the case, without proof. take or begin to have (power or responsibility). It was not until I was a Senior Counselor at a Resident Camp, entering my Freshman year of college, that I was informed, by a then mentor of mine, that assume also could mean making an ASS -OUT- OF -U – and – ME. That definition was not in Webster’s Dictionary, and sadly I must say that Mentors are not necessarily the HERO’s you once wished they could be (but that is another blog…and speaking of another blog, once upon a time when I was working in the Jewish Communal Worker, a Rabbi from within that particular community , ASSUMED, that since he was of such esteem as being closer to God, I could work a deal and give him more of a discount, on his JCC payment obligations…he also noted that he liked how nicely my pants fit my butt…but I am NOT angry about that anymore, well…for right now!)
SOPHIA PETRELLO (played by the wonderful Estelle Getty of Golden Girls fame). Sophia used to try and give some dimension of moral value to the escapades in which the Golden Girls found themselves involved. Sophia did a bit of exaggeration to make a point, but the point was made, and somehow all of her rantings made sense. Sophia would begin with “Picture this…” usually it was Sicily when the tale found footing…but my tale begins with, “Picture this…Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood, California 2019, in front of the newly constructed SPROUTS Farmer’s Market Retail Store.” There I was after a long and sweaty cardio workout at 24 Hour Fitness, hungry and thirsty, having purchased the most delicious SUSHI, and drinking what the cool kids the hipster kids have discovered as the Fountain of Youth a bottle of Kombucha. (The bottle insisted it was full of all the nutrients I needed after a workout…but because I am also almost 70 I did not read that this glass bottle…yikes a GLASS BOTTLE, was not your Hipster Kombucha but had %25 alcohol.) I was famished, poor me, hungry for a bit, so I decided to stand in front of one of the four U shaped thingies arranged in front of SPROUTS as a cement ornament, (interesting to look at but useless for say sitting upon, or God forbid lying down on if the sidewalk is your bedroom!) I was in SUSHI heaven, eating, and drinking, when a woman of a certain age, my age, stopped and said, shame on you spending money on alcohol (she must have had LASIK, as she could read the bottle in my hand,) if you are hungry buy food. I was taken aback! She quickly moved on as she could see that my sudden silence was about to become LOUD. Then as IS so typical in the Gay Paradise known as WEHO, some really hot guy wearing a really tight tank top and gym shorts almost cemented to his ass did the “look at me, don’t look at me, look at me, no, you are too ugly so don’t look at me, glance and gave me the tut, tut head roll. My mouth was stuffed with SUSHI, but I managed to shout, “I am married and have two kids, what about your life, asshole!” He skipped a little faster, and I could tell there was chaffing going on because those shorts were way too tight! And finally, a young woman walked over to me, and said, “here, I imagine you must be hungry, try and spend this, (a $5 bill) on food…she also noticed my Kombucha.) I tried to explain, but she graciously walked away. FUCK, I WAS wearing a LULULEMON Tank Top, and a pair of LULULEMON Gym Shorts…I mean seriously does that infer homelessness!)
TO THE POINT: Homelessness, the assumption that someone might be, the assumption that somehow your moral compass is directing you in some BETTER direction, the assumption that what you look like, has anything to do with what you look like in your soul and conscience! I have blogged about the Homeless population in LA. But let’s be real…there is a guy in the Whitehouse who is NOT homeless, actually we the people are paying for his DC home, his Florida home and the various and many homes across this nation and the world. He is a TAKER. We the people are paying for his spawn to indulge in the lavash lifestyle ripping all of us off. Entitlement is not a word that relates to the poor, the aged, the disabled, the HOMELESS. We should never ASSUME!
