Damn-Nation

It may have been third of fourth grade for me. I was in Miss MacAteer’s Social Studies class when we were studying the hierarchy of who would be in charge if just in case the Russian’s did drop those Atomic Bombs on Pittsburgh. Miss MacAteer was about to list the lineage of who would take over our Government as prescribed by the Constitution, when a janitor was walking past our classroom and must have dropped some very heavy metal thing, which made a thud and the janitor said “God Damn it.” Looking out at the hallway with one of hers eyes but still managing to hold her piece of chalk against the blackboard with the other eye, Miss MacAteer asked one of the kids in the desk next to the door to please immediately stand up and close that door. Of course, immediately there were stifled giggles because we heard a swear word in school of all places and as was Miss MaAteer’s habit when any un called for giggles arose, she would ring a bell on her desk like the kind hotel registrations would have when calling for the Bell Boy. One ring meant enough, two rings meant go to the cloakroom, three rings meant  do this one more time and you will stay after school, four rings meant go to the Principals office to be paddled and usually that was enough rings. On this day I so remember that Miss MacAteer hit that bell for at least 12 times. Everyone shut up not only shut up, sat up and stopped breathing, at least it seemed that way.

“Boys and girls”, it was the late 50’s so of course the word boys always came before girls. “Before we go on and I teach you about how this country will continue governing even if those Communists bomb our city, I want to tell you something else, and you need to pay VERY close attention.” Some kids started to pick up their pencils as if this might be something on a test. In a very deep voice almost staccato, Miss MacAteer said put your pencils down NOW. Confusing to all of us as usually when she was about to tell us something it would be on the Friday afternoon test.”I want every eye on me NOW, I wants your hands folded on the desk as if we were reading from the Bible and reciting the Lords Prayer.” (Yep every morning a passage from the Bible was read followed by the Lord’s Payer and then the Pledge of Allegiance). (This HAD to be an announcement that in fact the Atomic Bomb was about to fall, except we did not hear the Retention Drill Bell giving us a few seconds to hide under our desks covering are heads so we would not be killed.) Miss MacAteer said, “I will make this quick and easy to understand, NEVER ever use the Lords name in vain, if you do, most likely you will not end up in Heaven you will go to that other place! Do you hear me class never say, (and then she wrote God’s name on the board and next to it xxxxxxx) She added, “I am sure you all know what terrible and sinful word those X’s mean.

You could hear some hard swallowing and an eerie feeling arose kind of like when your parents let you watch Chiller Theater a late local show of monster, creatures and aliens. Then Miss MacAteer told us that there is the President a good man she added, the Vice President, also a good man and position called Speaker of the House of Representatives, sometimes a man. We know the President will survive as will the Vice President but if either person is on vacation and the Russian sneak attack us then the Speaker will be the next in line. I am now 65 years old and as I read about John Boehner as Speaker I shudder, third in line. Incompetent and political this Speaker legacy is to kill Obama Care a thousand times over. But worse, will be one of the three T-Bagging incompetent men pleading to be the next Speaker. Kevin McCarthy who loves him some Benghazi BS and of course shutting down the government because he can. Jason Chaffetz who believes the more you lie about Planned Parenthood the better Christian you become and now Steve Scalise who has his white robe and hood in moth balls ready to be refitted. God Damn it indeed, sorry Miss MacAteer, but I am afraid, very because you taught us that one of three men could be the third in line to actually become President. Damn you!