Damn you Starbucks! I hate you with your red plastic coffee cups filled with over priced coffee. Now it is you who are the baddest ass in the paranoid world of insecure sick Christians. Now it is you Starbucks who has taken Christ out of Christmas by blatantly going Red (are you now or have you ever been a Communist).
It used to be ME Starbucks me GAYMAN! I once had the power to cause flooding in Texas, hurricanes in New Jersey and Tornados in Kansas just by kissing another man. I once had the power to make the Institution of Marriage crumble and fall apart by just saying I do to another man. Damn you Starbucks and your red plastic anti-Christmas cups. I was SUPER GAY GUY able to cause divorce by just holding my husbands hand, why I could even make the heterosexuals refuse to get married because my love for another man dripped them dry of love and eliminated any spark of romance between he and she. There was a time before you and those damn red cups Starbuck where I had Jesus running from me just because I was a homosexual. Why my powers of Gay made Jesus so pissed off he was actually contemplating the End of Days earlier than usual, just ask Michelle Bachmann or Daddy Raphael Cruz. Jesus was so mad he told Pat Robertson and Mike Huckabee that he wasn’t even going to wait until all the Jews forcibly converted to Christianity or had them all shipped off to Israel, it was because of ME Starbucks and then you had to showcase that damn red cup!
Damn you to Hell Starbucks you have now relegated MY GAY POWERS to second string surpassing me as the Devil! I was once a Player in the demise of Christianity, now I am on the B League and can only vizierate the souls who still purchase your Latte, Espresso, and Cappuccino. Damn you Starbucks YOU are the Glory and the Kingdom claiming the deep dark roasted souls of every single coffee drinker. Damn you Starbucks! Oh the humanity!
