Hey lady, you’ve got a bun in your oven, you are gonna’ be a Mama and it don’t matter if the Daddy of your baby is your Daddy or some dirty scumbag from down the street; cause even if you were tricked you now gotta’ enjoy the treat! Now Mama you gotta’ make room in your womb for the Theocratic Christian Conservative Fascist Militia, cause they know EVEN if you ain’t a Christian, Jesus still loves you and HE has plans for your bundle of joy. Had you not looked so gosh darn good for your Daddy or Brother or Uncle, wearing those cool cropped tops or that down right dirty denim perhaps your family member would have never invested in incest; but lady you incited quite a riot in HIS pants! And as for that loser loner the strange stranger waiting in the shadows well Hell, had you not perfumed your panties or blossomed in your bra HE would have never lusted and then lunged after you!
If you are gonna’ blame all this Rape stuff on anyone, blame it on Eve. If she only had been satisfied being Adam’s extra rib and not solicited that serpent and eaten that apple you mightn’t have had to make all those men so darn tootin’ horny. It’s a man’s world Hon, and you can’t do a disservice toward the will of God. Get ready lady cause the Christian Crusaders are gonna hunker down and lay claim to your vagina. Lady you gotta’ God given gift in your groin and you ain’t got any say so in exchanging that gift. No Sir-ee, lady, Soldiers for Christ will stand guard and unwrap it for you. Why that gift is good for 9 months and is gonna stay inside your lady parts with or without your permission.
But Hon don’t you worry that pretty little head of yours, once the 9 month retention date is up and the gift is unwrapped its ALL yours. Its All yours to feed, to comfort,to house, to educate, to raise, to prepare for war, to choke on the environment. According to the Theocratic Christian Conservative Fascist Militants once that gift from God is born God has nothing at all to do with you or it at ALL! Why Hon you gotta’a bun in the oven, how great indeed. Do I hear an AMEN?
