Ain't It Purity

In the soon to be formed Christian States of America, (not sure if the new country will actually contain its current 50 states (cause you know them Hawaiians are all immigrants, them Californians Communists and maybe them Utahaians will certainly have to realize if their Gods name ain’t Jesus he ain’t no real God) one has to wonder who will be welcome and who won’t. 

Them lady’s and their messy women parts, cause a whole lot distraction from the men who own them, so the females with periods, and potential cancers in the breasts and uterus, might have to reapply for citizenship. They will have to take some sort of test which might include questions like which rib exactly was it that Adam gave up to create Eve? They might have to take an oath assuring their husbands that none of them were ever related to the Witches of Salem. And of course swear that no matter how drunk, deluded or deranged their masters are; dinner on the table, a bun in the oven, and a dust free gun rack in the bedroom will be observed. 

Them Poor or in Poverty people who dare indulgence into the Christian society will have to take a few tests to even be considered for citizenship. Chastity belts will be checked for the food stamp queens (alias women of color) every month, urine samples will be taken for the addicts (alias men of color) any time they set foot in grocery store, rectal exams will be performed for their bastards (alias children of color) who might infect public schools with their germs. And if they are not of color but the pure white kind of poor people questions will be asked such as “three meals a day is bit indulgent don’t you think”, “tell us why you think you deserve a roof over your head and clean clothes", and where is your Bible?”

Them homosexuals will not be welcome in any Christian State of America and if some slip by thinking that carrying a Log Cabin Republican badge will do the trick, they will soon be tracked down and removed simply by shop owners, government workers, and of courses soldiers for Christ just eyeing them and assuming they are infected with the Gay. No shirts, no shoes, no same-sex sexuality equate to no service. Using their best bias and bigotry with the aid and tactical input from the KKK clan, John Birch society members and such luminaries as Pat Robertson and his anti Gay bracelet , or Mike Huckabee and his many concessions to pray the gay away, or the ever murderous Scott Lively at the ready with the next “kill the Gays” bill, homosexuals will be sniffed out, perhaps not only literally but figuratively. 

Looming just beyond the next tarnished Evangelical church steeple, at the ready just near the latest Religious Freedom Bill, awaiting to pounce from the mouth of Conservative entertainers like Ingraham, Hannity, O’Reilly, lingering at the Supreme Court weighing down the arms of the activist Jurists like Thomas, Scalia, and Alito, just waiting to usurp the Constitution from the Founding Fathers in place of the real law book the New Testament is a band of Crusaders who would make Queen Isabella blush, Adolph Hitler squirm, and the Pope’s of the Dark Ages go insane. Not on the list yet for expulsion, just sit back and wait, someone’s gonna blame you for their own miserable life. This is the new face of America, its about purity and it ain’t at all purty!