Like so many, I am experiencing, a morbid sense of future, one version with few exits or detours, and the other one leading directly to either a collapsed tunnel entrance, or a version of Thelma and Louise, as they ride the roads of Nevada, selecting the one highway, ending at the edge of a long deep ridge, and their only way forward is a free-fall into oblivion! I am not surprised at the hypocrisy of men like McConnell or, Graham, who, both have presented their insecurities and ignorance of the human spirit, and their disgust for democracy throughout their careers, at least for the past 8 to 12 years. I had never believed that Trump could become anything more than the insecure thug and bully, fraud and criminal, (all) motivated by his deranged personality manifested and learned by his inadequate parents and have grown even more fearful of what I believe to be a very serious mental collapse of his lack of sense for reality, and total lack of empathy. I see no hope from politicians, especially calling themselves Republicans, (Conservative Christian to be exact,) who have replaced honor with honorariums received from wealthy American Donors who might as well be titled Domestic Terrorists; OR even more appalling, gifts from Russian Oligarchs, agents of Vladimir Putin.
As an American who was raised in a Jewish Family, I am also experiencing the High Holy Days, where my tradition reminds me (and visions of my mother and grandmother adding an extra point of view, from their place of peace), that MY Book of Life, for the new year, is about to be opened and soon, slammed shut, culling all the piecemeal and potential, promises, purposes, failures and fractures into one volume. I am overwhelmed with worry about the very moment I wake and breathe and perseverate until bedtime, wondering to use an old cliché “how many more shoes can drop,” before I find myself either bloodied or smothered.
Jewish tradition explains that the days between the beginning of the New Year (the opening of this BOOK, and the Day of Atonement (the closing of the BOOK) are The "ten days of repentance" or "the days of awe" { AWE: an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like: in awe of God; in awe of great political figures. Archaic. power to inspire fear or reverence.} Perhaps it is AWE, in both a positive and negative definition, in which I now live my present, view my future, and try to understand my past. Have I become more religious, not necessarily so, but I preciously have begun to cling to the notion that there must be a Higher Power, because, I am beginning to wonder about the availability of the human spirit!
