I was not born Jewish, there is actually no known Gene, for that. I was born into a family of humans who identified with the Jewish Religion, and as such were also identified as Jews, by the community in which we lived. One could assume I was a Caucasian due to the color of my skin. One could assume I was a male due to my shorter hair, Adam’s apple and the clothes I wore. To assume of course is a prerogative, not always correct, not always factual, but filled with opinion, based on one’s personal point of view.
I was raised Jewish, no not a religious or pious Jew, but more of a Cultural Jew, whose family included self-proclaimed Orthodox, Conservative and Reformed Jews, with my nuclear family participating in Jewish Holidays and Traditions and Ceremonies, all interpreted by my very superstitious Romanian Jewish Grandmother and her very superstitious Romanian Jewish sisters. I lived in a predominately Jewish neighborhood, and attended a predominately Jewish elementary school. My father was a Policeman, not truly considered, back in the day, a profession for a nice Jewish Man, and via his job, my family met and interacted with a majority of non-Jewish families. We would attend Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) conventions, and way too often the families from anywhere but Pittsburgh, would too often say hurtful things about the “Yids”. I had no idea what they meant by “Yids,” but knew it was said in a very snarky tone. My little sister and I however were great at track and field, and often the FOP would have relay races. My little sister and I participated, and nine out of ten times, each time won our races. We received our trophies and too often, we both heard the losers, and their families say, “I thought Jews were not athletes.”
I went to college and in my Freshman met a few people, who had no idea I was Jewish, and as we went to purchase our books at the college bookstore, informed me that I might be “Jewed Down,” by the manager of the store. Having no idea what that term meant, and certainly never heard that term before, I looked shocked and asked what they meant. The first response was Jews will rob you blind. I then said I was Jewish. They replied, you don’t look Jewish and added but I am sure you are not that kind of Jew. I told them to fuck off. I was shocked, and I guess realized at that moment, that all I had taken for granted about who I was and raised to be, could no longer be assumed as safe.
I write this piece, not as a unique set of circumstances, but as circumstances that affected my life. As my life continued, I experienced even more harsh, cruel, and intentionally harmful fear, hate, and loathing. When I finally was brave enough to come out of my own established closet and found my courage to actually say, out loud, I am Gay, as in I was born this way, not raised this way, once again I heard people say, I didn’t know Gay men could have kids, or Gay men played sports, or you don’t Gay. I am who I am either by choice, being Jewish, or by genetics, being Gay. And I will not never deny either. If you like me, like me for my actions, my morals my values. If not and you insist I am the monster because I am Jewish, you are an antisemite, if not and you insist I am the monster because I am Gay, you are a Homophobe. It is not a debate, in this case, it is very black or white. You either hate, or you do not!
