Thursday, November 4, 2010

5 easy pieces


Sometimes life imitates art. The following is a bit of dialogue from the 1970 film Five Easy Pieces Directed by Bob Rafelson. Written by Carole Eastman and Bob Rafelson:


Dupea: I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.

Waitress: No substitutions.

Dupea: What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?

Waitress: Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two - a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

Dupea: Yeah, I know what it comes with. But it's not what I want.

Waitress: Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind.

Dupea: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast.

Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast...an English muffin or a coffee roll.

Dupea: What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?

Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?

Dupea: ...You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?

Waitress: I don't make the rules.

Dupea: OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Waitress: Do you see that sign, sir? Yes, you'll all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm.

Dupea: You see this sign? [He sweeps all the water glasses and menus off the table]


The following is a scene from a 2010 film that may or may not have actually taken place aloud, but has certainly been spoken many, many times between Tea Baggers and Main Stream Americans or according to her holiness, Sarah Palin, lame stream Americans.


Tea Baggers: All I want is the Constitution the way our forefathers intended, hold the newer additions like abolition of slavery Thirteenth Amendment (1865): Abolishes slavery and authorizes Congress to enforce abolition.,And forget the suffrage stuff, ever since that was added the value of families has diminished. Nineteenth Amendment (1920): Prohibits the federal government and the states from forbidding any citizen to vote due to their sex. Women should be at home with their children as God wanted it, except if they are Mama Grizzlies and go hunting. Reverse the Seventeenth Amendment (1913): Converts state election of senators to popular election. We want our own hand picked Senators, who look, and thinks and smell like us. Now that is the Constitution I ordered.


Main Stream: Whose Constitution is that?

Tea Baggers: My Constitution, err I mean our Constitution, the original ONE. The one however that does not have the misquote from Thomas Jefferson, who was one of the original atheist socialists stating there is no official Christian religion in the United States. First Amendment: addresses the rights of freedom of religion (prohibiting Congress from establishing a religion and protecting the right to free exercise of religion), freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, and freedom of petition.


Main Stream: Does that limit freedoms for some?

Tea Baggers: What it does stupid is limit the size of government. No more Department of Education, home schooling is good--- full of Christian values like creationism not that silly science stuff. Stop social security and unemployment benefits too many old people living off the dole, and too many people living off their high priced unemployment checks. No regulations on corporations or financial institutions, they are the life blood of this nation plus some of those millionaire’s CEO’s have paid for the grass in our grass roots organization. Reverse the Obama Care legislation, no one can tell me to stay healthy plus this IS America and capitalism will dictate the prices we pay for Health Insurance, and if the price is too high I will just go without it. And get rid of that nasty hazy Ninth Amendment: declares that the listing of individual rights in the Constitution and Bill of Rights is not meant to be comprehensive; and that the other rights not specifically mentioned are retained by the people. Too many rights too many government officials getting paid to make sure those rights exist. And to hell with that 14th Amendment we have too many bogus babies being born in this country by people who cut your head off and leave you to die in the desert. Fourteenth Amendment (1868): Defines a set of guarantees for United States citizenship; prohibits states from abridging citizens' privileges or immunities and rights to due process and the equal protection of the law; And speaking of babies stop abortions and why in the hell should women have the only say in their reproductive rights? They are only women after all!

Main Stream: So you want the original Constitution to be the law of the land, but with some changes?

Tea Baggers: You have not heard a word we said, you Gay loving, immigrant welcoming fascist, commie, ‘pinko’. It is the original Constitution. If you spent any time reading it, you would have known what the founding fathers meant when they created the damn thing to begin with. It’s not what they wrote it is what they meant. It is the intent of their words. This is my country and I am taking it back. Did you not read the writing on the walls with the mid term elections. This is the Constitution I ordered.

Main Stream: Oh!

We voted America and now the menu will include selections catering to and created by the Tea Baggers. You want a Constitution without rights, freedoms, rules and regulations, enjoy the meal. And by the way Main Stream America there is the door if you don’t like it.

Perhaps it is time to start thinking about the next two years and the next four years after that. Just saying…


Don’t you just love when life imitates art!


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