Growing up back in the mid century the 1950s to be exact, at the early of six or seven I thought I had a relative named Valken. Back in those days as young children we were taught to call adults Mr or Mrs and if they were adult relatives we used the title Aunt or Uncle. So at many family functions my sisters and I would make the rounds saying hello to our relatives either kissing the aunts or shaking the hands of the uncles. Easy, breezy, that was all we needed to do to then immediately run to the dessert table and ignore the rest of the people, and just hang out with the cousins our age. My Grandma Braff however, insisted that we not only say hello, but we the name of the person to whom we just extended our cheek or hand. I remember the first time I met the lady I assumed was Aunt Valken. She hadn’t been to many family functions, but suddenly there she was standing next to our Uncle Shrul. So, following my Grandmothers instructions, and knowing that the dessert table was I leaned in for the kiss from this new cousin, and was ready to call her by her name. She was unlike the other Aunts who immediately took the lean in stance to kiss me, and instead she bent forward, with the index finger and the thumb on both of her hands, and said, i don’t know where that face has been and instead, placed her index fingers and this upon my cheeks and pinched them…hard! I was taken aback but saw my Grandmother standing with her hands folded across her breasts, her lips making a very ruby red pucker, looking over at this encounter. Amidst the pain on both of my cheeks and trying my hardest not to cry (It hurt), or yell (God forbid), I could only muster the words, “Hello Aunt Valken”. Leaning in toward me (Now way to close),thinking her comes another pinch, Aunt Valken, stood there and said “Are you a stupid boy, my name is Minnie.” This Minnie lady stood straight up, turned to my Grandmother and turned her head lit and right right and left and said “Tut, Tut.’ This gyration caused my Grandmother to run over to me, hissing at Minnie, as Minnie walked away, and my Grandmother non accusatory asked me what happened.
I was one of the only boys in the family, lots of girl cousins, so usually I got the royal treatment from everyone, so I was a bit shocked, both by being called a stupid boy, and also by the lack of affection I, as a boy usually received. I told my Grandmother “I don’t know, all I said was hello, Aunt Valken and then she yelled at me and said her name is Minnie. I expected a lecture from my Grandmother, but instead she began to giggle and said a phrase in Yiddish, which I had always heard before whenever anyone was speaking about this lady. The phrase was, “Veyl Keyn harts odor nshmh.” Looking at Aunt Minnie with one eye, and keeping the other eye on me (I never knew how my Grandmother could do that), she said. “she has no heart or soul.” As time went on, I realized that Aunt Minnie was Uncle Shrul’s, second wife (he actually divorced his first, and those days Oh My God), and that my Grandmother and her relatives knew the only reason Minnie married Shrul was for is money, and Minnie gave no shits to anyone in the family, and always had something bad to say right to their faces. All I heard as young kid was two words Veyl Keyn and I thought it was her name Valken (So sue me)
Once again, as I was on the stationary bike at the gym, with all fourteen televisions sets tuned to either CNN or MSNBC, I heard or saw the written words flashing across the screen about just how Trump and his Klansmen refused to even consider abuse and harassment an issue, and that how none of that stuff could happen if the man is smart, educated, or maybe even covering up for Trump. The Talking Heads were reacting as if any of this immoral or value-less behavior made ANY impact on Trump and his Klansmen. What planet do there people live on, I thought, YOU are talking about Trump , morals, values, ethics or truth are foreign to him, he is a person with no heart or soul. And then suddenly the name Aunt Valken walked into my brain and i had to get off the bike, go outside and scream!
