Before I attempt atonement, or as one Rabbi of mine would insist At One Ment, I must vent, no I must SCREAM, because, in my lifetime, I am watching the destruction and death of the democracy of a country I call home. The images of men insisting women have no idea of being harassed…the idea that a Supreme Court nominee is so flawed as to permit a decent amount of time to check his entire history…a political party so submerged in the blackmail and anarchy originated by a foreign enemy…the fact that religious leaders insist that while being a homosexual, or a female desiring the rights to her reproductive body parts, or being a person of color, or living in poverty, or actually smothering the Earth is fine and dandy as far as fine and dandy relates to Jesus, but will NOT admonish the sins and crimes of Trump…the fact that each and everyday war is being declared on the innocents of this nation, and we are just expected to wait with great patience for the laws of the land (the same discarded and denounced laws being walked and shit upon by the Trump Crime Family)…ALL of that…has and does make me crazy, it makes me feel as if the end is no longer near, but has arrived, and that EVIL has finally triumphed over GOOD, at the hands of the most heinous and insidious of humans on this planet.
For me, this Eve will begin an accounting of my life and those in my life from this past year, and for me the past 68 years…I have no idea how to find peace, real peace in my soul when, there are children starving, kidnapped from their parent, shell-shocked from bombardments of weapons too awful to fathom…I have no idea how to find peace when differences are met with disdain and degradation…I have no idea how to find peace when each day the air I breath becomes more dangerous, and the planet I live upon is dying a dangerous and deadly for its inhabitant's death…I have no idea how to find peace when there are still people, who consider others the enemy and never want them to be anything but the enemy…I have no idea how to find peace in just being passive…It is Yom Kippur Eve, as I have grown from my childhood, and my belief in Judaism, this is the Eve and the next Day when the Book of Life is to be closed, and all consideration complete….For me, I have never been so confused, so scared, so angry, so frustrated, so lost.
For those who will fast, considering their sins, asking for forgiveness, wishing atonement, I hope all comes to fruition…for me, I am not too confident, that God has been listening intently this year…so I will try my best to find my At One Ment!
