I was lucky. When I finally came out and freed myself from the burdens I placed on myself because I felt being a homosexual was a bad thing, I had somehow missed the pandemic of HIV-AIDS. In trying to understand who I was, I had been confronted with this awful “Gay Man’s cancer”, and truly wondered if in fact being Gay was a punishment from God. I believed and still believe in my God but did consider maybe God had certain plans for Homosexuals all the while I dealt with my own sexuality and being.
I met people who had lovers, partners, and friends who died of HIV AIDS. I am good friends with many men who some thirty years later remain HIV positive. I heard stories, relived moments, and gleaned the heartaches, heartbreaks, and healing that so many in the LGBTQ community had to suffer, endure and accept. As the saying goes, I am “six degrees of separation” SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION: is the theory that any person on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries.
I am sad, that for so many decades I had to hide my fear of being myself, a male, among so many other natural phenomena as being a Homosexual. Finally free, finally stronger, I regret the time spent hiding, but have embraced the time of proudly saying THIS IS ME. It is World AIDS Day, a time to remind as well as remember that once upon a time, silence did equal death. And to insist, that whatever the cause of justice and equality, NEVER BE SILENT AGAIN!
In 1967, a very talented friend, named Danny Pickholtz and I wrote the opening number song to a play I wrote. The play and the song are called ‘Is This Me.’ Little did I realize I was writing about myself. Danny wrote the music, and I wrote the lyrics. We never produced it. I dedicate this song to all of the lives who never had a chance to live a long life and say, Is This Me!
“Is this me, is this me
Who was I pretending to be till now,
Tell me? I want to know! I want to know!
Was I little bit too shy for myself,
Was I bit afraid to tell the world that I am here and ready?
Now’s the chance for me to take it,
Now’s the time for me I better make it
Who’d have thought that once that I
Once had been a nowhere guy,
Now I’m glad that I am I
This is me!” (Is This Me/Gerry Buncher)
