Sister Sarah

When Sister Sarah Palin begins to talk in tongues, dismantle the English language so it sounds like something spoken by citizens of Jupiter, uses more run on sentences then most people might attempt in a life time; when Sister Sarah Palin begins her seemingly drug induced trip as she stands either in front of TLC, FOX or Discovery TV cameras or sits at her desk dictating her meandering thoughts on Twitter or Facebook, to some subservient assistant who believes that indeed Sarah is Grizzly Mother…you know that the person she is pretending to defend has to be might guilty of the immoral or mistrusted machinations of their own, but certainly also must have acted just as Sister Sarah has done and does herself. 

Be it a Duck Grandpa drooling over some young females, a pedophile House Speaker, a brother loving him some of his sisters, or an aging rock star who believes the best sex is that of an underaged girl, Sister Sarah is at the edge of outrage not at the perpetrators, but at the Progressive, Liberals, Socialists who have the audacity to highlight the hypocritical behavior of Christian Crusaders. Sister Sarah when coherent will inform the public that the final call of bad behavior is up to Jesus, but just in case he is looking the other way, she will dutifully do his bidding and tell the real sinners to shut the fuck up! Good children of Christ, says Palin, can err now and then because their intentions of molestation were founded somewhere in the Bible she keeps as she sits on her front porch with an assault weapon, a moose’s head and her binoculars focused on seeing Russia. No one knows God better then the bunch of hooligans who shout his name LOUD and LONG!

When Sister Sarah Palin decides she is here to protect you, you need to run as far away as possible, because Sister Sarah Palin uses the black hole in her brain to talk and once she mentions your name you are pulled into an oblivion with no return!