Fetal Positioning

If you are a zygote, a few centimeters long, or a fetus I need to prepare you for life outside your mothers womb, according to some people who have never met your Mama, or never will meet your Mama, but feel that they have ownership over her body and in particular you! Well, you until you are outside your Mama’s womb. Now if your Mama became pregnant because her daddy or brother thought she was hot for them there are some people, Evangelical Christians to be exact, who believe you don’t need love to make a baby and it is just Jesus providing your Mama with a gift. These same people think that you should be born and then you get a two-fer-one…your granddaddy will also be your daddy and your uncle will be your daddy…what a gift! The same holier than thou folks also believe that if some deranged male finds your Mama’s body delightful and thinks she should feel the same way about his and then rapes your Mama, well once again Jesus provided your Mama with a gift and this stranger, this low life, this Rapist should be part of the decision process in your birth and should have parental visitation rights. 

Now if your Mama is a single lady, those Christians still believe she should give birth to you but they won’t acknowledge her presence in their church, except of course if you are Bristol Palin, then you will not be considered a bastard child, nor will your Mama be excluded from appearing on FOX News. If your Mama and your Daddy did plan on getting pregnant and you have siblings waiting to greet you, but your parents only make minimum wage, your future brothers or sisters may not look so healthy when you meet them. The same people who love you to death in your Mama’s womb, don’t care if your family starves to death. You see these kind of Christians seem to think Jesus really never spent anytime in the streets of Jerusalem with the poor…I know, go figure. If your Mama and Daddy make just enough money to pay their rent and perhaps provide at least two nutritious meals to their family and of course to you; the same Christian Crusaders at the ready to keep you floating in that womb want to stop providing your family with affordable health care insurance and then they want to close down any of the Planned Parenthood Clinics because heaven knows quality health care ain’t Jesus like at all!

These Evangelical Christians think that pre-natal care, pre school education, and food stamps are socialist tactics by the government to keep you from ever pulling yourself up from your boot straps. These Christian zealots are a-feared that our US government will become all kind of Communist, so their answer to that is TO ESTABLISH a Theocratic Fascist government that could give a shit about health, education or welfare that will only keep close eyes on your Mama’s body and in particular her womb and vagina….They actually believe the US Constitution says so, I know, stupid huh! So if you just happened when that sperm found the right egg intentionally or NOT feel comforted that you are a gift from Jesus, even if you ain’t Christian. But once that gift is unwrapped you may end up being the booby prize cause if your Mama is poor, uneducated, single, ill, she will no longer be loved by the Jesus loves me and not you crowd. If you want to eat, go to school, have medical attention you better hope that Jesus also left you a pot of gold, cause without it AIN’T nobody gonna care! And you had better learn the word hypocrite, cause you are gonna use it a lot!