Having been single, and even while married, but without the responsibility of having children, flying on a plane was great. (Even greater before all of the excess noise and confusion created by 9-11). Why even the airlines understood customer service and understood the rationale about supply and demand (you know before the corporate mergers and the monopolies that pure selfish Capitalism creates). But once I became a father, some weird wiring clicked somewhere in the safety box of my gut, unlocked the steel frame and the hidden treasure of angst and anxiety, and more so, something called extra duty responsibility, broke loose and joined the flow of blood in my veins and the oxygen in my lungs. Upon the first breath of my first born, I acquired, AEROPHOBIA! Who knew!!
I had no conscious idea that my fear was based more on the fact of, if God forbid, pooh, pooh, pooh (I still refer to my Grandma Braff for the pooh, pooh, pooh stuff), the plane should crash and THEN who would love my kids as only I knew how; but later with some incite from professional mental health workers, and honest input from my friends (you know you have GOOD friends when they can FINALLY just be honest with you and tell you the truth about your behaviors), that I was a control freak. I was not only worrying about the future of my kids, but I felt the need to be in charge of the flight. Okay cool. I almost mastered the lack of the fear of flying but am still not the happy go lucky young lad I used to be. (But then again, the words young and lad don’t quite fit my current situation. But even now, there are two major things that get my crazy bone, working harder than ever. The first is when I feel turbulence and yet the flight crew demonstrates no look of worry on their faces, and even the seat belt sign is not flashing. The second, which is my true nemesis while flying in the used to be friendly skies, is that invention by either Stephen King or Rod Serling, invisible turbulence, the kind that creeps up on you from a very clear and uncloudy sky!
There is a point, about this AEROPHOBIA, and how I view life on the ground of the United States, in the year 2019, living under what I feel is a soon to be Fascist/Theocratic/Authoritarian system of government. I look around and things are bumpy, and yet so many folks think just a few months from now, the skies will clear, because somehow the 2020 election will remove the real turbulence called Trump, and smooth sailing will reappear! And then the old me erupts with my worry about the future of my kids and the next generation of my family. I am not in control and feel that nobody but a Terrorist (from back in the days when planes were highjacked has taken control of the Pilots Cabin), and yet snacks are being handed out and all that is being asked is which kind of soft drink would you like. I have been lucky, no matter how smooth or utterly turbulent my past flights have been I arrived at my destinations safely…I don’t have that sane, sound and safe sense any longer!
