9:oo pm, Wednesday, April 1, 2026, and as I was sitting on my sofa ready to watch Trump cosplay the part of President, I saw, as I steered at my television, some ghoulish creature amble in the spotlight from the shadows, and had to ask my husband if somehow their had been a glitch with our Cable provider, and they replaced this supposed Iran Speech into some cheesy opening of some cheesier local TV Saturday night Horror Theater. I remember oh so well, when I was seven years old, waiting anxiously for the scary horror Saturday night show host to enter, pretending he was either a werewolf, a vampire, a space alien, or a ghost. As Trump stumbled forward, trying so hard to look alive, all I could think of was a favorite Pittsburgh host named Chilly Billy Cardille welcoming us all to a night of terror, welcoming us to Chiller Theater. All that was missing from Trump’s demonstration of a demented demon facing the camera was the eerie sound of an organ playing in a very minor key!
Then, when Trump managed to speak, mumbling and seemingly all muffled, trying to use the same facial expression during the time he was booked for his Felony charges, the other thought that came back to me was the scene in the movie, ‘Sunset Boulevard”, when Gloria Swanson playing the role of Norma Desmond, a once upon a time sought after actress, who was thrown asunder because the movie industry moved on and she did not, muttered as the cameraman used his camera to inch in closer to her face, she said, with all of her glitz and glamor, “I am ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille.”
And then Trump, doing his very best to perform his best impressions of a man in deep cognitive decline, looking lost, lonely, and a loser, spoke in tongues, never finishing a sentence, let alone a thought, lying like he always does best, and looming large for all America to witness, and in fact I once again thought I am watching a 1950s grade B horror movie, and once again when I was that seven year old, I became very, very, very frightened.
My eyes glazed over, my breathing became shallow, because all I could hear, as his orange mouth moved up and down, were the words I HAVE THE ABILITY TO START WORLD WAR III, and no one dares stop me from doing so, because I am a God, and the Commander-In-Chief. And with that imagery now mangled in my brain, I hurriedly turned the TV off, did a quick dash to turn off the lights, ran into my bedroom, and pulled the covers over my head. I was terrified!
