“We dismiss the back roads To ride these streets unafraid
Resigned to scraping paint From our bones unashamed
No more the eye upon you No more the simple man
Desolation yes hesitation no Desolation yes hesitation no” (Age of Innocence)
The murders in Pittsburgh, of course, like the myriad of mass shootings of innocents all over this nation and the world in which we live, has shaken me to my core, which once I thought could and would stand strong, surviving the most evil of men and their machinations. But then, because it was Pittsburgh, my hometown, and because it was targeted toward the Jews, of which I am proud, one…I have felt a chaos climb up and down my spine as if an earthquake found its footing in my soul and shook each vertebra and rib, treating them like rubber bands (or as we say using a choice Pittsburgh term, gum bands). My hometown, as I remember no matter how difficult my own life might have been was innocent…and the age of that innocence has died, a bloody death.
“As you might have guessed all is never shown Desolation yes hesitation no
And in my prayers I dream alone A silent speech to deaf ear
If you want love you must be love But if you bleed love you will die loved
No more the lie upon you Cast into stone and autumn shade
Desolation yes hesitation no Desolation yes hesitation no” (Age of Innocence)
I have read enough history books, to understand that the waves of tyrants, the flooding lies of the despot, the marauding mayhem of authoritarians find footing in places one might have never guessed could exist. It like the mold, the mildew is hidden behind your newly financed bathroom, which when built was so finely toned to detail that no one would ever imagine, there would be room for rot to fester and flourish! Never in my home, I am too clean too pure, I am too innocent for life-threatening danger to find me, and begin to kill me.
“As you might have sensed we won't make it home Desolation yes hesitation no
Before the rites of spring - Come to mean all things
A little taste of what may come - A mere glimpse of what has gone
Cause for the moment we are free - We seek to bind our release
Too young to die too rich to care too fucked to swear that I was there
Desolation yes hesitation no Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have guessed we won't make it home Desolation yes hesitation no”
(Age of Innocence-Smashing Pumpkins-lyrics, William Patrick Corgan)
The Age of Innocence, perhaps never existed. Pittsburgh was never Mayberry, and Mayberry was just the imagination of a few writers who dreamed about a simpler way of life. This most recent tragedy has a lump growing inside my throat, clogged with such emotion, that I wonder if it will ever dissipate. Of course, I am not a direct family member having to realize the sudden slaughter of my family, but I am an American who has witnessed too many thoughts and prayers, and to be honest…nothing else! I do not understand this age in which I find myself and MY own friends and family…and I mourn DEEPLY the END of INNOCENCE!
